Home Sweet Home
by Nitroglycerin
Summary: Sequel to Searching for Shinobi. HPXYYHXNaruto crossover. In a time period that cannot be categorized by past or future, fifteen shinobi became immortal, living for eighteen hundred years before they were found by the Spirit World and sent back in time...
1. Prelude

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Naruto

Author's Note: In order to completely understand this, you may want to read Searching For Shinobi first, although I'll warn you that chapters 1 – 10... or maybe 20... anyway, they're pathetically written.

Though, I'll try to make it as easy to understand as I can.

Also… Harry Potter and Yu Yu Hakusho will probably take a few chapters to come up.

* * *

_In a realm known as sleep, where the only visible things resembling substance were ten shinobi, five kunoichi, and a dog (there were two bijuu, as well, but they were not currently visible)… in this realm that they entered each night to recover energy, but could never dream…_

_There was much noise._

"_HEY!! SASUKE!!" Naruto screamed, "HOW COME YOU LET GO WHILE WE WERE JUMPING EIGHTEEN HUNDRED YEARS BACK TO NOW?! WHAT IF YOU'D GOTTEN SENT TO HOME?!"_

_Home… something that, as of yet, they had not disclosed any information about to anyone. It had remained an enigma to any and all outside their circle, but that would change after they woke up._

_Sasuke scowled at the blond, "I didn't leave Konoha just to come back later."_

_No noise came from Naruto as his mouth opened and closed, and he looked even angrier._

"_Naruto…" Ino cut in, "You're losing control."_

_Naruto's mouth clicked shut, and the emotions that had begun leaking to the other residents of this non-realm stopped._

_Because of their connection… unless everyone kept a conscious hold on his or her emotions, those emotions would jump to all the others. This control had become second nature over their many centuries of life, but occasionally a situation would come up where an extremely strong emotion would jump, despite attempts at restraint. Even less common were the times when the emotion would actually cause them to lose all self-control._

_Of course, if one of them were to be knocked unconscious, that would cause a complete loss of self-control, as well._

"_Yosh!" Lee said, "Time to get up!"_

_Sakura looked at Lee like he was crazy, "It's only 6 a.m.!"_

_And barely six a.m.; with a slight ticking sound ingrained in their minds, they always knew exactly what time it was, and could always tell how long something had been going on… it might have been maddening, except for the other thing that had been ingrained in their minds: an immunity to insanity. Were it possible for them to go insane, they would have done so long ago. Immortality does things to you… and so does having seventeen other beings hovering at the edge of the conscious mind._

"_I'm going to wait two more hours." Shikamaru sighed, "Then I'll report to Tsunade-sama. Anyone who wants to come can."_

* * *

I'm slightly worried that I'm losing my feel for the Naruto characters' personalities; so if any of them seem OOC, please let me know.

I'll be updating this each Saturday.

Also… I said in Searching for Shinobi that I would avoid romance, due to my dislike of and consequent difficulty writing it. However, I've noticed that people can see any pairing at all that they want to see (seriously, some of them... a lot of them, actually, are just scary…), so even though I'm not writing it, you can still see whatever pairing you want (I do _not_ like this, but I've found that, at least for me, half of writing is pleasing myself, and the other half is pleasing the readers).


	2. First Try at Settling In

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

* * *

For the first chapters: English

* * *

Tsunade looked up when she heard a knock on the door, "Come in."

The door opened, and Naruto, Sakura, and Teams 8 and 10 came in.

"Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari have decided to head for Suna." Shikamaru explained, "And, by the way, Sasuke has arrived safely."

Tsunade started, "Arrived in _Konoha_?"

Shikamaru bit his tongue, "Um,_ no_. I mean he's arrived in this time period."

Tsunade was now quite confused, and didn't try to hide it, inviting Shikamaru to elaborate.

So… Shikamaru tried, "… You know, that place that several people had been saying were giving them a bad feeling, and a client came who wanted you to investigate, because it was chasing his customers away?"

Tsunade nodded. That was the mission that they had disappeared on.

"And you wanted to just send one team, but he demanded as many as you could spare?"

Tsunade nodded impatiently.

"He must have offered a lot of money, even though we really weren't doing anything…" Sakura muttered.

Tsunade's head came about an inch closer to her clasped hands, "Just get on with it."

Shikamaru took a deep breath, "The closer we got the worse we felt. It got really bad by the time we started looking through the area and found Naruto and Sasuke, just before they disappeared into thin air. We got a little closer, and we went, too. That was the entrance to Home."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, "So… what were Naruto and Sasuke doing there, how did Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari get involved, and what the heck is 'Home'?"

Shikamaru rubbed his head, "We… never told each other how we each got there… it's kind of a sore spot."

Tsunade leaned on her desk, resting on her elbows, "Well, Naruto, at least, can tell us why he was there."

Naruto looked up, "Hm? What? Oh… that… Ero-sennin got a letter that he didn't want me to look at, so I looked at it. It said that Orochimaru was going to be moving to that area, but wouldn't be there very long. So, naturally, I went to check it out. Sasuke was there… and we started fighting… and then… we weren't there anymore… dattebayo!"

Tsunade's eyes narrowed, "That's _so_ specific… I got the general idea, though. What's 'Home'?"

Shikamaru drew in a breath, and let it out. He tried again, folding his arms, but once again ended up saying nothing.

Tsunade tapped her foot, "Sometime today?"

Shikamaru rubbed his head, "… It's… not… it… kind of… doesn't exist… but… it _does_ exist… but it doesn't. It's like it… _shouldn't_ exist, but it does… only… it doesn't… it's _really_ troublesome."

"You're not making sense." Tsunade snapped, "But since it seems that's the best you can do, how about explaining what it has to do with this?"

Shikamaru relaxed ever so slightly, "When we disappeared, that's… where we went. We called it 'Home' two centuries later, because it was the only thing that remained constant in our lives. And… we keep going back."

Tsunade cocked her head, "Why?"

"Depression, mostly. The longer we stay out, the more depressed we become. It always reaches a point where we go back. Even Naruto hasn't managed to get past twenty years."

"How do you go back?"

"Either by returning to the area we first entered, or committing suicide."

"… And no one else has been caught in this?"

Shikamaru looked over her shoulder, out the window, at the clouds, "It seems as though no one else knows where it is anymore. Like there was only a brief time in which it was even possible to _find_ it. Besides us, no one goes there, ever. The ominous feeling that surrounded it when we went in is gone, but everything around in a fifty-foot radius is desolate… dead. On the rare occasion something besides us enters the area, and only animals and plant seeds ever do; it dies… gruesomely for animals."

"And what's this about committing suicide?"

"We can't die. It's just not possible. Our _equivalent_ of death would be something that would kill a normal person, except that we disappear, and we're in Home. Whatever damage was caused is then fixed over a period of time that varies depending on how bad the injury is. Most of the time, we return the instant before death, but if the death _is_ instant… there's a painful feeling of separation before we're back Home, healing."

Tsunade's mouth opened slightly, "This is unbelievable… and how come you look younger than when I sent you on that mission?"

Shikamaru was silent for a moment, "… Well… about that… we can alter how old we look… we can go up to two hundred fifty years."

Naruto grinned, "You should see me without my hair! I look older than the Sandaime! Actually, at that point, I think I _am_ older than the Sandaime…"

Tsunade grimaced, "_No thanks_. Shikamaru, what all did this 'Home' _do _to you!?"

"Actually…" Shikamaru suddenly looked pensive, "I think there are things Home has done to us that we're not even aware of yet, despite having eighteen hundred years to find out."

A few shinobi and kunoichi glanced at him curiously.

Shikamaru didn't reply to the questioning looks, "But what we know? It's connected us emotionally. We can send emotions to each other, and if we don't consciously hold on to them, they'll slip to everyone else. So if, say, Naruto was unconscious, you might hear Shino saying 'dattebayo'."

Tsunade's eyes widened, "Impossible…"

Naruto suddenly grinned, "There was this one time fuzzy-brows was unconscious, and Sasuke told Sakura-chan that she was youthful!"

Tsunade paled.

"That's how we know that Sasuke is here, because if he had died, he wouldn't be controlling his emotions right now." Shikamaru continued, forgetting to mention that Sasuke had also been just fine (as in, not staring at nothingness with a depthless vacant gaze) in sleep, "If we all… _release_ our emotions, so to speak… it generates something we've called 'synthesis'. It's different from only a few of us in that there are so many conflicting emotions that most of them cancel out, and it kind of fades to gray. Basically, we become one mind."

Tsunade mentally shivered, _Shino saying dattebayo…_

"When we enter Home…" Shikamaru said, recapturing Tsunade's attention, "It's like there's a different kind of synthesis that occurs instantaneously. Our minds are separate, but exactly the same… and we become utterly indifferent to anything and everything. The troublesome part is, when we leave, it takes a while for that to fade… without exception, longer than it does when we do synthesis outside of Home. We don't start _feeling_ until at least two days outside of Home, and that's only if we stay separate from each other, in highly populated areas. For some reason, other people help us feel emotion."

"Great…" Tsunade gripped her head, _Shino saying dattebayo… _"I think that's about all I need to know about that. I'll see what I can do to help… I'll just do a blood test, and hopefully that'll give us some information."

* * *

…

* * *

"It's going to be nice to see Suna again…" Temari said idly as she and her brothers hopped across the trees.

"It's going to be hard explaining our absence, though." Kankuro pointed out, "And it'll be especially difficult explaining why Gaara can sleep now…"

"Not to mention long." Temari added, _how are we supposed to try to explain Home when we gave up trying to find out what it _is_ centuries ago? Still… I guess we're obligated to try…_

* * *

…

* * *

"This is…" Tsunade breathed, looking at the results.

"What?" Sakura asked. She had been the only one to stay after the blood tests.

"Your DNA…" Tsunade said, before words seemed to fail her.

"May I see?" Sakura requested.

Tsunade's mouth thinned, "… I'll… show you later."

* * *

"Ero-sennin!" Naruto exclaimed happily when he spotted Jiraiya, "… How come you're here?"

Jiraiya had turned around when Naruto had called his name. He grinned, "Because you disappeared. So, did you learn your lesson?"

Naruto was confused, "What lesson?"

Jiraiya's grin vanished, "Don't look at scrolls that I don't want you to look at, kid!"

Naruto frowned, "Hey, I don't pass up opportunities to make my best friend see the light, dattebayo!"

Jiraiya scowled, "Oh, yeah, I suppose that worked out _really_ well. Is he back?"

Naruto pouted, "No, but only because Tsunade-baa-chan and Ino didn't hold on tight enough!"

"Oy, Tsunade-sama has called a meeting." Sakura said, hopping off a house beside them, "To inform the jounin, ANBU, and elders of the village about our dilemma. Looks like she considers it pretty serious."

Jiraiya sighed, and left.

Naruto seemed slightly surprised, "Well, thinking about it, I guess it is pretty serious…"

Sakura smiled, "Konoha isn't very busy right now, so they don't have a higher priority at the moment. If they can think of a way to fix it…"

"What if they don't want to fix it?" Shikamaru wondered, stepping out of the shadows, "Put simply, it's quite likely they'll consider it advantageous to have shinobi who can't die."

Naruto's jaw dropped, "They _wouldn't_…"

Sakura's eyes became shadowed, "… Shinobi are tools…"

Shikamaru looked up at the clouds, "Tsunade-sama wanted me to be at that troublesome meeting. Ja ne." He walked away, leaving Naruto horrified, and Sakura pale.

* * *

…

* * *

Shikamaru closed his eyes, leaned back against the wall, and more or less fell asleep, without anyone else in the room realizing it.

* * *

_He didn't have to wait long. Soon after he fell asleep, Ino, Shino, Sakura, and Neji appeared._

"_You wanted to say something?" Ino asked._

"_This isn't going very well." Shikamaru told them, "We need to talk as soon as this meeting ends."_

"_What's going on?" Sakura asked worriedly._

"_Some freak called 'Danzou'." Shikamaru replied, "He's all in favor of calling Home 'not a problem, but rather an asset'. Tsunade, Jiraiya, our senseis, mine, Ino, and Chouji's dads, Kiba's sister, and the Hyuugas and Aburames are against him, but it seems like the room is split in half, and I've got no say in the matter… Tsunade's talking to me… just find an isolated place to meet where I can fill you in later…" He hurried the last part, before disappearing._

_The two shinobi and two kunoichi exchanged glances, before waking._

* * *

"Shikamaru?" Tsunade said, "I've been trying to talk to you for the past half minute!"

Shikamaru cracked an eye open, "27.56 seconds, actually… sorry, I think I may have been dozing off. You were discussing whether or not we were telling the truth, ne?"

"Yes." Tsunade snapped, "And I would prefer it if you could stay awake to listen."

Shikamaru smiled wryly, _listen? I was listening… oh, yeah, we haven't told Tsunade-sama about sleep yet… I suppose that can remain quiet for now._

"I would like to see some proof before any of us reaches any conclusions." An old hag stated, "This is quite a crowd to call for something that we cannot be sure about."

Tsunade growled, "I trust my student, I trust Naruto, and I trust the rest in their group of fifteen. I used the time-travel jutsu, and found them eighteen hundred years in the future. And it wasn't just me, as you well know."

"Be that as it may…" An old geezer stated, "Someone's word, even if it is the word of two sannin, and four jounin, is hardly substantial enough for something this far-fetched."

Shikamaru's eye twitched. He was getting somewhat fed up, "You want something substantial? How substantial? How well do you know us that you would be able to come up with an idea of something sufficiently _substantial_?"

Silence… with many narrowed eyes.

Shikamaru wished he'd kept his mouth shut… but now that he'd started, he couldn't very well back out, "… I can think of a list of troublesome things that you might consider substantial enough, but they're _really_ troublesome. I suppose it's not enough that we're all in eleven-year-old bodies instead of the original thirteen?"

The eyes narrowed a little more, and Shikamaru sighed, "That's what I thought… and you wouldn't like me having a little meeting with the others to debate on what would be acceptable?"

"Actually…" Tsunade said, "What if you had that little council in here, where we have plenty of shinobi to watch?"

Shikamaru's mouth thinned,"… I'm… tired… I think in order to have the energy to satisfy you, I'm going to need to take a nap."

Tsunade nodded, "That would seem to be the case, if you were falling asleep earlier. We'll reconvene in a couple of hours."

Shikamaru nodded, and hurried out, _if I talk to any of the others where they're not watching, those skeptical jerks will say we had it planned ahead of time… I could follow Tsunade's suggestion, but that might not cut it… but whatever we do, in order to satisfy them, I'm going to need cooperation from everyone else… well, except Sasuke… no problem leaving _him_ in the dark…_

… _Although… why did Danzou stay silent? He believed me… he probably wants to see what we can do…_

His father caught up with him as they entered their house, saying only a few words as Shikamaru headed for his room: "I hope you have something good…"

Shikamaru was silent as he lay down, and instantly fell asleep.

* * *

"_What happened?" Naruto demanded as soon as he got there._

"_We went to sleep when we felt you making the transition." Sakura said, in explanation of being there, "… Something bad happen?"_

_Shikamaru scowled, "Tch. Yeah. A third faction came up that seems convinced that this is some sort of prank. Being eleven isn't enough for them. They want something 'substantial'."_

_Naruto and Lee were speechless with outrage. The others just stared, open-mouthed._

"… _I take it something unpleasant happened over on your end?" Kankuro asked, materializing out of the void, "We were getting curious as to why one of you from each team went to sleep for one minute, sixteen seconds, and then you _all_ went _back_ to sleep ten minutes later."_

"_It's troublesome…" Shikamaru answered, "Basically, our government is divided, and a third of it wants proof of our immortality."_

"_Hey, hey!" Naruto piped up, "Let's all pitch in and drag Sasuke back!"_

_The others stared at him like he was crazy, and Shikamaru said simply, "They may not consider it sufficient proof… still… all in favor say 'I'."_

_There was a unanimous ring of "I!" and Kankuro left to inform his siblings._

* * *

"Hey, one minute!" Temari protested, "We've got to get back to Suna!"

Kankuro almost smiled, "We've been gone for a year already, I'm sure they won't miss another week or so… and besides, by helping, we'll be doing Konoha a favor, and they can't reprimand us for _that_!"

Temari grinned, "Then I guess we'll split up and find out which hole the snakes currently reside in."

Kankuro grinned, as well, "Assuming it goes over well with the leafy council."

Temari glanced in the general direction of Konoha, "I'm sure we'll find out soon enough…"

* * *

…

* * *

"Bring Sasuke back to Konoha?" Tsunade asked incredulously, "You know exactly where he is?"

Shikamaru smiled slightly, "No, actually. But over the course of eighteen hundred years…" He gave the group that had been skeptical of his (as well as Tsunade's, Jiraiya's, Kakashi's, Gai's, Asuma's, and Kurenai's) honesty a significant, narrowed glance, "… When we left Home, it was troublesome, but we would occasionally stay in Orochimaru's hideouts, since he wasn't around at that point, and they made for convenient places to live for a few years. By now, I figure we all know where most of them are."

"Well, then…" A hag said, "Why don't you disclose those locations, so we can _finally_ rat out that snake?"

Shikamaru almost snorted, "Orochimaru isn't in this time period. He's eighteen hundred years in the future."

Tsunade blinked, "When did this happen?"

Shikamaru slapped his forehead, "That didn't come up, did it? He showed up in a forest close to the _school_ we were attending. It became troublesome fairly quickly…"

"And how do you know he hasn't come back?" Tsunade asked.

Shikamaru sighed at how difficult this was getting, "I probably would have gotten a heads-up from Sasuke. Although, I'll check to make sure later…"

Tsunade was slightly confused, _… how…?_

Danzou suddenly spoke up, "That should work. Sasuke wouldn't come back of his own volition, and to know where he is, as well as be able to bring him back from somewhere that by all means they shouldn't know the location of, is sufficient proof that Shikamaru-kun's explanation is the only one we can really accept." (A/N not sure about the "kun"...)

Shikamaru tensed slightly. He hadn't expected that… _I'm surprised he didn't ask how I would know from Sasuke whether or not Orochimaru's back…_

There were a few scattered conversations, and eventually everyone in the room agreed with Danzou.

Shikamaru felt distinctly dissatisfied as he left, but ignored the mild irritation.

What bugged him more was a nagging theory at the back of his head… but he also managed to push that to the recesses of his mind as he went to find out where the others were.

He didn't have to look long: Sakura was at the gate.

She straightened when he came into view, "It took a lot of discussion, but we finally settled on the Uchiha compound, for irony."

Shikamaru's eye twitched, "That's… great…"

* * *

"YES!!" Naruto screamed, "When do we leave?!"

Shikamaru took his hands off his ears, "As soon as possible."

Naruto's grin split his face in half, and he did a victory dance that might have been a little less disturbing if it weren't perfectly executed.

* * *

Sasuke leaned back against a wall, trying for all he was worth to ignore the somewhat ominous emotion that the others were transmitting.

Namely, a weird cheerfulness (in some cases with a touch of sadism), and he mentally noted that this came just after that odd point where they were practically _hopping_ between the awake and asleep states.

"Are you all right, Sasuke-kun?" Kabuto asked.

Sasuke glared at him, "No. You're sure you don't know when Orochimaru's getting back?"

* * *

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention in the Author's Note in the first chapter… there is only one exception to the "I will not be writing romance" (or five, depending on how you look at it). I _will_ be doing one-sided SakuraSasuke, one-sided InoSasuke, one-sided NarutoSakura, one-sided LeeSakura, and one-sided HinataNaruto.

I would not be writing these if they required even a little reading between the lines in the anime and manga. Unfortunately, since they don't (as far as I can tell), I'm obligated to write them in order to keep the characters… well, in-character (I really don't like OOCness with no good reason).

(Still, if you really like romance and specific pairings, it shouldn't be difficult to ignore these and use your imagination to see what you want to see)


	3. I'm Here, We're Here

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"You're sure you want to come?" Shikamaru asked a little way outside Konoha.

Temari grinned, "Sure. We need time to think of how we're going to break the news to our village, anyway."

Shikamaru smiled slightly, "I guess I can't complain… Neji, Hinata, could you check the two hideouts closest to Konoha?"

The Hyuuga cousins nodded, and activated Byakugan. Shikamaru noted a hint of surprise in both their faces before they both deactivated Byakugan.

Neji spoke up, "The south one."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow; _that was a _lot_ easier than I'd expected…_

Naruto grinned. He felt slightly disappointed that he wasn't going to be dragging Sasuke back single-handedly, but he would find a way to make up for it…

* * *

…

* * *

Sasuke took a deep breath, raising his hands as though one of them were a gun, _focus…_

He activated Sharingan… _remember the structure…_

He focused chakra into his pointer finger, _and… mimic._

A bullet of energy shot out of his fingertip, exploding when it hit the wall. Sasuke smiled slightly, _I wonder what Yusuke would think if he saw that…_

_Still… it could use some fine-tuning…_

Feeling slightly irritated at the trickling giddy emotions that made their way to him, Sasuke decided to go outside for some fresh air.

* * *

A hinged branch dropped.

"Naruto!" Sakura scolded as the blond jinchuuriki fell to the ground with a shout of surprise, "Didn't you remember that!?"

Naruto looked up at her, as he rubbed his head, "No! I've never fallen for that before!"

"Someone's coming." Shino stated, melting into the shadows. Naruto and Sakura glanced at him, and did the same.

Sasuke walked up the stairs, and breathed a sigh when he got into the open air. The giddiness he was picking up from the others intensified, and he became quite curious as to what they were _doing_.

He suddenly stopped, and turned around involuntarily to face Shikamaru. A moment later, the other thirteen ninja stepped out of the shadows, and Sasuke's curiosity about what they were doing abruptly vanished, to be replaced with strong irritation.

Shikamaru looked somewhat less than happy, "We're back, but nothing has changed."

Sasuke glanced down at the shadow that ran between himself and Shikamaru, _you can say that again…_

"We'd best be getting back to Konoha now…" Shikamaru sighed.

Sasuke's eye twitched, "… I hate you all."

"I share that sentiment." Kankuro stated.

"As do I." Temari added.

"Don't we all?" Kiba asked rhetorically.

"I don't!" Naruto argued, "Well… mostly…"

There was a moment of silence, and Sasuke looked at the shadow. Taking a deep breath, he started moving one finger forward. Shikamaru immediately started resisting, and the two of them became locked in a silent tug-of-war.

The others narrowed their eyes, tensing.

Shikamaru hissed in frustration as Sasuke slowly forced his finger to point at the shadow on the ground. A blue light glowed at his fingertip, and Shikamaru's eyes widened just before the light shot out, exploding as it made contact with the grass.

Shikamaru didn't have to wait for the miniature cloud of dust to clear to know that it had made a small hole. His shadow disconnected due to the sudden (albeit tiny) lengthening of distance between himself and Sasuke, and he deactivated the kagemane, allowing the others to take over.

And take over they did. As soon as Sasuke was moving freely, several shinobi and kunoichi jumped into action.

Lee moved first, intercepting Sasuke before he could get away. The two shinobi locked together in taijutsu combat, in which Sasuke was on the defensive, and had to disengage almost immediately to avoid Neji's Gentle Fist.

He didn't get a chance to recover from that either, but had to duck to avoid a Rasengan from Naruto, and then bring up his arms to block an oncoming knee.

Naruto grinned, and brought down his elbow to connect with Sasuke's back, catching him between arm and leg, _I've always wanted to do that…_

Sasuke winced, and swung one leg around the one Naruto was standing on, tripping the blond and effectively removing the pressure on his back and chest. He jumped back, noticed some sand behind him, and had to flip onto a branch to avoid it, almost losing his balance.

He _did_ lose his balance avoiding Kiba's gatsuuga, and couldn't avoid the subsequent gatsuuga from Akamaru, which sent him flying into a tree.

Jumping high into the air, Sasuke was barely able to catch his breath as he watched Chouji's enlarged hand hit where he had been pressed an instant before. He lost that breath when Temari swung her fan in his direction, and he flew into one of the uppermost branches on one of the trees.

Sasuke crouched on the tree, watching carefully, tensely awaiting the next attack; _being in a large group like that, they have to be careful about not getting in each other's way…_

His breath caught when something crashed into the trunk of the tree, and he jumped into another one as it fell toward the ground. There was a scream of "TIMBER!!" From Naruto, and Sasuke, looking down, noted that Lee had kicked the tree, causing its downfall.

Looking down was a mistake, and nearly got him impaled against the tree by as-of-yet unnamed weapons. He got cut a few times keeping them from pinning him to the bark, and hopped onto a lower branch. He jumped to another tree when another wave of projectiles followed the first, and jumped again to avoid a returning Kiba, although this time he was able to avoid Akamaru as well.

He reached the ground, and was consequently assaulted by Naruto and Lee. Hardly able to fend off both of them at once, Sasuke retreated, sprinting up a tree, kicking the daylights out of a sand clone, and dodging projectiles to the best of his ability as he leaped away, alternating between the ground and the trees.

He was on a tree when he slid to a halt as a cut appeared on the bark just in front of him, not created by a projectile. He instinctively brought up his left arm, blocking a striking palm, but drew a sharp breath when pain shot up his arm.

Hard-pressed to avoid Neji's unexpected rapid attacks, Sasuke backed away as far as he could while dodging the Hyuuga's lethal hands… until he noticed someone else behind him. Hinata.

Caught between the Byakugan users, Sasuke didn't last long. It was kind of difficult to win when avoiding one attack meant getting hit by another, attempting to take the offensive meant leaving oneself _completely_ open, and retreating simply wasn't possible, because the only way to escape would be to jump or duck and drop, both of which would again leave him completely open, if only for a fraction of a second.

"S-sorry…" Hinata whispered to the now unconscious Uchiha, as he slumped, and fell off the large branch into Kuroari's waiting maw. Before the puppet closed, Sakura leaned in, holding out her arm and healing what damage she could.

Drawing back, she watched the puppet close, and several bugs skittered through the holes meant for swords, alongside some sand.

"Why did we have to knock him out?" Naruto complained, "I mean, was it really necessary?"

"He should wake up in an hour or two." Sakura soothed, "We'll have to deal with it until then."

"An hour or two?" Kiba asked, "Dang… he's going to be awake before we reach Konoha…"

"That's what the bugs and sand are for." Shikamaru explained, "He can't use jutsu without chakra, and if he tries taijutsu, the sand will hold him."

"I hope the sand can react fast enough to keep him from using taijutsu…" Kankuro muttered, "It would be a pain to fix Kuroari…"

"I wouldn't worry." Ino said, "It's not like any of us even got hurt capturing him."

Kankuro's eye twitched, _that's not what I'm worried about…_

Shikamaru looked up at the sky as the group started back to Konoha, _that technique he used… it looked like that one Yusuke used in that tournament… what did he call it? Spirit Gun?_

* * *

…

* * *

Sasuke cracked an eye open when Kuroari stopped moving. He had been awake for one hour and seventeen minutes already, but wasn't sure how long he had been unconscious before that.

Light seeped through the holes in the puppet. Enough for Sasuke to see the bugs crawling on the edges, and he could feel the sand sitting on the bottom. _Trapped…_

"I'm… not going to enjoy this." He heard Ino say, among some other voices that he didn't recognize.

Kuroari snapped open, and Sasuke flinched at the flood of stinging light. Instinctively bringing an arm up to shield his eyes, he didn't get a chance to dodge Ino's jutsu.

'Sasuke' stepped out of the puppet, into the Godaime's office, rubbing his eyes, as Ino's empty body slumped into Temari's waiting arms.

"We've found him and brought him back to Konoha based on information gained during our eighteen hundred year lifespan." Shikamaru reported, "Good enough?"

Inwardly, Sasuke seethed, making Ino quite uncomfortable.

The hag that had challenged Shikamaru earlier spoke up, "Of course… although, Tsunade-sama described something you called 'synthesis'. If, perhaps, in order to leave no doubt…?"

Shikamaru blanched, and Shino answered for him; "I don't think you fully understand our feelings on the matter."

"Hey…" Naruto spoke up, "We would _definitely_ need a compelling reason to do that…" He grinned evilly, "How 'bout we synthesize for five minutes… and creep out all these old people?"

He _almost_ ignored Kyuubi's little whisper of _"you're in no position to call anyone 'old'."_

_Eighteen hundred years from now, you said I wasn't in any position to call someone "young"._

Kiba groaned, "That would be something to see… but we won't be able to enjoy it."

Naruto looked thoughtful, "Well… actually, maybe just one minute… and then we can see the results!"

"Sounds fun…" Chouji said, "Keep the time to a minimum… scare the ANBU… the only downside is that it's _synthesis_."

"Oy, oy!" 'Sasuke' (Ino) interrupted, "I'm not seeing any upsides to this!"

Naruto braced himself, saying three words before releasing his emotions: "You're about to."

Ino opened Sasuke's mouth to protest, but didn't say anything when she felt Naruto's mischief permeate her mind. _Scare the ANBU… one minute… _she weighed the two thoughts, and finally settled on agreement, releasing her emotions.

"'To leave no doubt', huh?" Shikamaru said quietly.

_I'm _so_ not going to enjoy this…_ Tenten thought.

"Let's get this over with…" Kankuro grumbled.

Tsunade suddenly found herself focusing on Naruto's eyes, the mirror of his emotions, in which it seemed something like a storm was brewing, settling back down each time it seemed to be starting up, until, finally, it just settled down into a calm, frozen surface. For some reason, it seemed like it should have been tranquil… but it wasn't. It felt… like the cloudless day had suddenly become overcast, and the sun's cheery rays could no longer reach this darkened room.

The others in the room saw this, as well, and stood back to see what the fifteen young ninja would do.

Ino suddenly stood up, no longer in Sasuke's head, and several ANBU tensed as Sasuke turned around.

The dark-eyed Uchiha didn't seem to notice as he addressed the fourteen other synthesized nin, "Oy…"

Naruto looked at him evenly, and replied in an expressionless voice, "It's not like we needed you to agree."

Sasuke didn't even scowl, his face remaining as expressionless as Naruto's voice, "I'd say I know, but I know you know I know."

Naruto maintained silence, even as a simple understanding passed between them, echoed on both sides: **I know.**

Everyone in the room tensed, not quite believing what they were hearing.

Lee suddenly yawned, "It's troublesome…"

"But rules," "are rules," "and in the inescapable" "vortex of destiny," "it doesn't matter" "if one of us doesn't agree." "Synthesis is generated anyway," "because if the one that doesn't agree" "tries to resist," "the synthesis is naturally concentrated on them," "and, subsequently" "he or she can no longer" "bring him or herself to care." "Dattebayo."

Tsunade's eyes widened. That explanation had included each and every one of the fifteen shinobi and kunoichi, but the way they left off and picked up was so seamless that it seemed as though one person were talking. Even the deadpan tone was exactly the same.

What really startled her, however, was who said what. It had gone in order of (after Lee) Kiba, Chouji, Shino, Naruto, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Temari, Gaara, Neji, Tenten, Kankuro, Hinata, and finally Sasuke.

Mostly though, she was just startled by Naruto and Sasuke.

Suddenly, Sakura spoke up, "You want to fix this, ne?"

Tsunade was surprised, "… Yes."

Ino shrugged as if she had been the one to speak, "Do you think you _can_?"

Tsunade's eyes narrowed, "I can try."

Chouji chocked his head, "You do not have a definite answer?"

Tsunade tensed, "If it must be definite, then _yes,_ I think I can."

Gaara smiled slightly, "Then your goal… would be to 'fix' Home?"

"That is the conclusion I've come to." Tsunade replied, wondering along with almost everyone else in the room what exactly was going on. She decided to stop paying attention to who said what. It was irrelevant, and would only give her a headache,

Whether it was one or more of the fifteen that spoke next, Tsunade didn't notice. All she could notice beyond that pure, empty voice was the surreal feeling that fell like a thick, choking blanket.

"Then your goal is to 'fix'… something that neither exists nor is non-existent; our Home, my shinobi, our only definite return, my kunoichi, our fear, my bijuu, our retreat. It encompasses all, all… it is absolutely nothing at all.

"And you think you can _fix_ it?!"

Tsunade was shivering by this point. The power in that voice seemed to suck her voice from her throat. But… _something else was saying that… what was saying "my"?_

The voice, the feeling, the words, filled her with an inexplicable fear, but still, _I trust Sakura… everyone… _Naruto_… _when she answered, her voice carried the same strength of that vacuum that consumed the fifteen young shinobi in front of her, but at the same time, it carried a far different strength, "Yes."

"A minute has elapsed." One of them stated, still in that disturbing deadpan. The weird feeling that had settled in the room cleared up as life returned to eyes of the young shinobi.

"Sheesh…" Ino sighed, rubbing her head "I _hate_ that…"

"Please…" Gaara said calmly, "Don't look at us like we're bijuu."

Neji's eye twitched as the expressions of the majority in the room changed slightly, "… That's worse."

Naruto glanced around the room, "You're such a lively audience… so, Sasuke! How's it feel to be back in the village hidden in the leaves?"

Naruto's voice had suddenly taken on a commercial-psycho-like quality, and Sasuke, having nothing better to do, took it as a challenge.

He smirked, "It's worse than when I left."

Naruto winced, "Oh, that hurts… but, but! You cannot honestly say that Konoha is a bad place!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "Oh, really?"

Naruto grinned, "_Especially_ after you've eaten Ichiraku ramen!"

Tsunade's mouth hung open, and she leaned toward Danzou, her heart still pounding from the stressful minute before, "I think they've all gone mad…"

Kiba heard her, and turned slightly to face her, "Only half, actually. We can't go mad."

Sakura nodded in agreement, "We can't go insane, but under the circumstances, we can't be fully sane, either."

"Like optimist/pessimist?" Tenten wondered, "The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, the optimist would say we're half sane, and the pessimist would say we're half mad?"

"What about droll?" Ino pointed out, "Would that just be 'halfway between sanity and insanity'?"

Naruto spun around, drawing a scroll and using it to summon a microphone, "In other news, back at that hideout we dragged Sasuke back from, I have _just_ realized that we didn't get to say hello to Kabuto!"

Tsunade's eye twitched, "No, you're all completely insane." _Why did they say "my"?_

"In any case," Temari interrupted, "We need to get back to Suna."

Tsunade blinked, "Ah… thank you for helping bring Sasuke back to Konoha. This meeting is adjourned. The council and I will reconvene elsewhere tomorrow."

The Sand Sibs bowed, and disappeared, followed by almost everyone else in the office (Sasuke being escorted by a couple of ANBU).

Finally, Naruto was the only one remaining in the room, and Tsunade scowled, "What do you want?"

Naruto looked somewhat pensive, "… You're not going to try to kill Sasuke, right?"

Tsunade was puzzled, _what all did Shikamaru say about how they 'die'…? _"Why?"

"Well…" Naruto thought a little more, "'Cuz… if Sasuke dies, and gets sent to Home … well, for one, he _never_ gives off any cheerful emotions… that, and he thinks about Itachi about 24/7…"

Tsunade was surprised, "I thought only emotions jumped."

"Well… thoughts can also jump, it's just that _those_ tend to be sporadic, while emotions are constant…"

"'Tend to be'?"

"Well, for example, when Neji is unconscious… or in Home… or just isn't controlling himself… _at all_… anyway! In any of those cases, I'd sometimes think of fate, but if fuzzy-brows were in the same position, I'd _constantly_ be thinking of youth and hard work."

"I see…" Tsunade frowned. Now that she had gotten over the initial shock, she was starting to be able to think about this logically, "So, if Sakura were in any of those conditions, you'd constantly be thinking of Sasuke?"

Naruto was taken aback, "NO!! OF COURSE NOT!! That's… it's… it's _sporadic_! Dattebayo!"

"Uh huh." Tsunade was not convinced, "Do crushes jump?"

Naruto blinked, "Well… no. Actually, they cause some things to jump that would result from them…"

"Any examples?"

"… Not that I want to talk about…"

"What if Hinata were to be… say… unconscious?"

"Huh?" Naruto wondered what brought _that_ up, "Well… I get really confused easily… I think it's because there are some emotions canceling each other out… but, anyway, I noticed that I don't like talking so much when that happens."

"… I see." Tsunade looked down at her paperwork, "I'll see what I can figure out… so just relax for now."

Naruto turned on his heel, "Fine, fine…"

"One more thing, actually." Tsunade said. Naruto turned back curiously, and Tsunade took a deep breath, "When you were… synthesized, you said 'our Home, my shinobi' among other things. What exactly was that about?"

Naruto blinked, "What? We didn't say anything like that… 'my shinobi'? That just sounds creepy… like something Orochimaru would say…"

Tsunade stiffened, _he doesn't remember? _"What about 'our only definite return, my kunoichi'?"

Naruto shook his head, "You must have been in shock. It can do that to you, right?"

Tsunade tried to steady her breathing, _calm down, calm down, calm down, _"Never mind."

* * *

"It sure feels great to be back!" Tenten said happily, closing her eyes and enjoying the light breeze.

Neji smiled, "I never thought I'd be happy to see Gai-sensei…" (... _Does_ Neji use 'sensei'?)

Lee froze, taking in what Neji had just said, before spinning around, "That's cold!"

"But true." Tenten pointed out.

Lee's jaw dropped, "I can't believe you two! Gai-sensei is the best sensei in the world!"

* * *

A door opened, and Shikamaru and Chouji looked up.

"What took you so long?" Chouji asked, "I almost decided to eat all the barbecue without you!"

Ino grinned, "Changing. It feels so good to be out of those wizard robes!"

Shikamaru frowned, _taking half an hour to change… women are so troublesome…_

"Mind if I join?" Asuma asked, appearing in a poof of smoke.

"Not at all!" Team 10 chorused.

* * *

"So you can read emotions, but not thoughts?" Kurenai asked.

"Yeah." Kiba replied, scratching Akamaru, "We've tried several times to find a way to communicate telepathically, but it's never worked."

_I wonder what Naruto-kun's doing…?_ Hinata thought at the sky, as Shino stood silently.

* * *

Naruto looked out the window, and didn't turn around when he felt certain energy enter his small apartment. Instead, he created two Shadow Clones, and hid himself.

When the visitor pounced on the bunshin staring out the window, and ended up falling on his face through a thin cloud of smoke, Naruto grinned, "Yo, Konohamaru!"

Konohamaru got up from his position facedown on the floor, "As expected from the man I admire!"

The second bunshin stepped out of the shadows, grinning, "How come you're here?"

As soon as the second clone stepped in front of the window, two more children hurtled through it, accompanied by three colorful explosions.

When the smoke cleared, Konohamaru was on his knees, coughing, now joined by Moegi and Udon, "You used too much gunpowder, _again_!"

The clone looked down at them, and, undaunted, they jumped up in an attempt to recover flashiness. Unfortunately, before they even started, the clone disappeared, and they looked around in confusion, before Naruto dropped from the ceiling, coughing for a moment before smirking, "Yo!"

The Konohamaru corps jumped back, falling over each other in the process. Naruto laughed, "What do you want?"

Konohamaru pushed himself up for the third time in two minutes, and said in an unnaturally serious voice, "Hatake Kakashi gave us a mission… to give this to you." He held out a tiny scroll, which Naruto took. In which was thus written:

_I've managed to schedule a team reunion for tomorrow afternoon. I know I don't have to ask if you'll be there, so I'll see you there._

Naruto's eye twitched. He could almost _see_ an additional "be waiting for me".

* * *

Wow, long review, Ri-16-chan. But… I'm _sure _I addressed that issue in SfS (I guess I'm just not that great at explaining things). Then again, I'm going to have to address it again in this anyway… at the moment; it looks like it'll be brought in chapter 6.

If it's any consolation, I'm planning for everyone to start maturing by the end of this part, and they'll be Shippuden-level in the sequel.

Also... I just stated in chapter 2 that they were 13 when they disappeared... I guess I'm just really bad at explaining things...


	4. DeoxyriboNucleic Acid

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Kakashi sighed. _Team reunion indeed… _more like information gathering. _See how they react together… _and check to see if they are, indeed, at least half sane, _among other things_. _But if she calls it a mission… _it didn't sit well with him… _feels too much like experimenting on my students…_

* * *

A couple of ANBU guarded a door in a clichéd dark, stone hallway.

Naruto tapped his foot impatiently, and spun around, pointing accusingly, as soon as Kakashi appeared.

Kakashi held up hand, "Sorry, I–"

"LIAR!!" Naruto and Sakura screamed.

Kakashi sweat-dropped, and turned to the masked guards, "If you would."

The pair bowed slightly, and opened the door, allowing Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura to enter. The two students sucked in a sharp breath as they felt their chakra forcefully suppressed. The door closed.

Sasuke, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the unadorned room, didn't look up, "What do you want?"

Kakashi assumed a relaxed position, absentmindedly taking a small book out of his pocket, "I thought it would be nice for us to have a little team reunion. After all, you've all been missing for nearly a year here, and I believe you've waited _much_ longer."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at Kakashi, _there's something he's not saying… _until she noticed something among Sasuke's emotions that she wouldn't have, had it not been so alien that it set all her instincts on a shocked alert.

Naruto noticed it as well, and his eyes widened, "You…"

Kakashi looked up, _what…?_

Sasuke set a record for the deepest scowl in history when Naruto burst out laughing, and Sakura stepped back, deeply disturbed.

As soon as Naruto could catch his breath, he almost started laughing again, "Y-you… you… you _are_ glad to be back!"

Kakashi hid his widened eye behind his book, and Sasuke's eyebrows made an interesting "V" shape, "I… am… _not_."

Naruto smirked widely, "Then why the tickling cheerfulness, oh avenger?"

Sasuke ground his teeth, repressing his emotions for all he was worth, despite it being a little late for that (if that "tickling cheerfulness" were a rope, he'd be chewing a hole through it), "… To be back in this time period, _not_ back in Konoha."

Naruto's smirk widened to a full-out grin, "And yet you didn't feel it in Orochimaru's lair?"

Sasuke snarled, "Maybe you just didn't notice."

Naruto's grin was now impossibly wide, and Sakura put her hand on her mouth, trying to hide her own smile.

* * *

Tenzou bit his lip, crushing his sudden curiosity, determined to do guard duty.

The young (Root…) ANBU beside him felt nothing at all… but was certainly listening closely.

* * *

Kakashi stared at the open book; _this must be the strangest reunion in the history of man…_

"And it's even better…" Naruto laughed, "Because I've _never_ felt genuine cheerfulness–"

"Let alone something bordering on happiness…" Sakura added.

"–From _you_!" Naruto finished, "Even when we ran into Itachi!"

"Shut up!" Sasuke snapped, _if I'd held any allegiance to Konoha, do you think I would have left?_

_Being in a pitch-dark stone room guarded by ANBU is just homey is all… especially since it's as separate from the others as I'll get._

… _I'm arguing with myself. Must. Calm. Down… _without_ strangling Naruto or Sakura… or Kakashi… or myself…_

_Naruto and Sakura…_ Kakashi observed in mild surprise, _said something together… WAIT, _"Itachi?"

Naruto seemed slightly surprised that Kakashi was still there, "Uh, yeah… he showed up at Hogwarts with Kisame to play 'substitute teacher'… something about their original substitute, along with the two that those jerks were replacing, being diagnosed with some sort of wizard-only disease. Then Deidara showed up after the real teachers got back…"

Kakashi blinked, "Deidara?"

Naruto waved it off, "Some other Akatsuki clown. He was obnoxious, dattebayo."

"And then Shikamaru mentioned that Sasori had also shown up." Sakura pointed out.

Kakashi didn't immediately register what Sakura said, _'some other Akatsuki clown? What does he think Akatsuki is, a circus? _"… Sasori…?"

"Yeah…" Sakura answered, "He must not have stayed long, because Shikamaru was the only one who saw him, and that was once, briefly. Oh, yeah, and Sasori is Akatsuki, as well."

Kakashi sweat-dropped, "Exactly how many Akatsuki _were_ there?"

"Just those four." Naruto replied nonchalantly, "… As far as we're aware, anyway."

Kakashi sorted through his somewhat mixed feelings (none of which were positive) before continuing, "That's nearly half the Akatsuki."

"Well…" Naruto's face angled toward the ceiling, "I guess it is… but, hey, it's not like they all came at once."

"He's got a point." Sakura and Sasuke both said.

Kakashi paled, _it appears eighteen hundred years of being unable to really die has made them remarkably stupid. _He put on a long-suffering face (not that it made much visible difference), "It looks like it's a good thing none of you became chuunin."

There was a moment of dead silence before Naruto screamed "OY!!" Sakura yelled "Hey!" and Sasuke's glare, which had been starting to relax, abruptly deepened.

* * *

Sakura walked silently toward Tsunade's office. In her opinion, that team reunion had gone fairly well… although it gone mostly _silent_ after Kakashi's comment about chuunin. But then, nothing was silent with Naruto… it was just that he was doing most, or rather _all_ of the talking from that point on, and had ended up arguing with himself a few times.

She stopped just outside Tsunade's office, hearing someone talking inside, and put her ear to the door.

Kakashi's voice reached her through the wood, "… Mood was swinging like a pendulum."

Sakura frowned, _what…?_

She heard consternation in Tsunade's voice when she replied, "That wouldn't surprise me, but you say he was talking to himself when this happened?"

"It swung most while he was _arguing_ with himself, but yes, it was swinging while he was talking to himself."

Sakura's eyes widened, _why is Kakashi-sensei giving a _report_ on our meeting?_

She jumped when Shizune appeared next to her, "Sakura…?"

Sakura smiled, _no, I _wasn't_ eavesdropping on the Hokage, so please don't ask…_

The door slammed open, and there stood Tsunade, glowering at her assistant and student, "What are you doing here?"

Sakura jumped again, standing rigid before the Hokage, "Y-you wanted to see me?"

Tsunade's brow furrowed, "Yeah. Both of you come in. Kakashi, you will finish your report later."

Kakashi nodded, "Hai." He disappeared.

Tsunade beckoned Shizune and Sakura into the room, and took a sheet of paper off her desk, handing it to them.

Shizune took it, and Sakura looked over her shoulder.

Tsunade sat on her desk, "What does that look like to you?"

Shizune shook her head, "It… _vaguely_ resembles deoxyribonucleic acid."

Tsunade turned to Sakura, who pressed her teeth against her tongue lightly, "It looks slightly familiar… but my thoughts are the same as Shizune-senpai's." _I _know_ I've seen something like that before… but _where_? _(A/N I _think_ that's the suffix Sakura uses for Shizune...)

Tsunade nodded, and handed them another sheet of paper, "What about _this_?"

Shizune frowned in concentration, "… I don't recognize it."

Sakura bit her lip, "I… me neither." _So why does it almost seem like… a medley?_

Tsunade took the paper, "Those were the test results for Kiba Inuzuka and Hinata Hyuuga. Neji is similar to Hinata, and nearly everyone else is similar to Kiba. Sakura, something has altered your DNA. Ah, yes, and this was Naruto's. I'll be getting a blood sample from Sasuke later today." She handed them a third sheet of paper.

Sakura's eyes widened as she looked at the picture, her mind recalling… so very, very long ago… not long enough… _it almost felt like every fiber of her being were being shifted around with excruciating pain…_

Shizune was crouching in front of her, looking worried… when did she turn around? "Sakura? Are you alright?"

Sakura shook her head, and ran out of the room, ignoring Tsunade's startled call for her to stop. It was frightening, and made her feel unfamiliar in a place that should be more familiar than anywhere… _it changed our DNA… Home…_

Why hadn't they seen it before? In eighteen hundred years, shouldn't they have at least seen a picture of their DNA? Why now?

… Why did it scare her so much?

Her eyes widened as her feet carried her to the inside of a Hokage's stone face, but it was not the abrupt, instinctual need for seclusion that surprised her, _our DNA… it looked… it…_ and she was suddenly even more scared, _why!?_

* * *

Tsunade cursed, "What's gotten _her_ spooked? If they're immortal, _of course_ there are going to be biological anomalies."

Shizune looked somewhat worried, "She said 'it looks slightly familiar' before she said her thoughts were the same as mine…"

Tsunade looked up sharply, "That means…"

Shizune nodded, "She recognized something we didn't."

* * *

Kakashi stared at a large stone, _what have teams become, that I should have to spy on my students? Or is it not even teams, but rather this 'Home' that causes them to become so apprehensive at the mention of its name? That seems to be at the heart of this, but which they are so unwillingly to explain in full?_

They_… not just my students, but also twelve others, and… where do Kyuubi and Shukaku fit into this?_

_I wonder what you would think… Obito…?_

* * *

Sakura looked up when she heard two familiar pairs of footsteps enter the cavern inside the Sandaime's rock face, "Why…?"

Neither of the two silhouettes needed her to finish. One stated, "You got extremely upset about something."

"Ano… what was it?" The second asked.

Sakura's eyes became shadowed, "I'll explain in sleep."

The first snorted, "Assuming you don't go into a coma just because this is weighing on your mind so much."

Sakura blinked, "Was it that bad?"

There was a moment of silence before the second one replied, "… Worse."

The first decided to elaborate, "It felt like falling. Just that from a transmitted emotion is disturbing in and of itself. You can explain to the others in sleep, but you're going to have to tell us here."

Sakura almost could have smiled, "Promise you won't scream."

The two figures glanced at each other, and nodded.

The feeling that she might have been able to smile vanished as Sakura took a deep breath, "Our DNA bears similarities to that of demons. It takes up roughly half the entire structure."

The two visitors' eyes widened, but after the initial shock, the first lowered his head, "I suppose it makes sense… the whole 'reconstruction' thing."

Sakura nodded. 'Reconstruction' was the only word any of them could think of to even approximate a description of what they had felt the first time they had entered Home, "Although Naruto's in particular appears to be that of a full demon, and I'm willing to bet Gaara's is similar."

She looked up, "And yours just looks weird."

Neji shrugged, concealing his frayed nerves, and Hinata cocked her head, surprised by the random way Sakura had made her statement.

* * *

"Sai" watched as the other ANBU stood up and disappeared. He would soon be replaced by another one… probably also directly under the Hokage's command.

He wouldn't have much time… he made sure he could feel no one around before he quickly drew a scroll, scribbled something on it, and made a hand sign.

The drawn mouse crawled off the page, and Sai put a tiny needle in its paw. The mouse gripped the needle, and skittered under the door.

When an ANBU arrived to replace the first, Sai was back in his relaxed sitting position.

* * *

Sakura's head shot up, and she almost felt like crying as she felt her self-esteem drop like a rock, _this has got to be the worst day in my life…_

Neji and Hinata also looked up, shock showing in their white eyes.

* * *

Lee crashed to the ground, and Gai frowned, "What have you been doing for eighteen hundred years, sleeping!?"

Lee rebounded, "Never! I trained every day, but could not gain enough po–" He cut himself off, and decided to rephrase just a little, "–What's going on with Sasuke?"

Gai was somewhat confused by the sudden question, "He's in confinement?"

Tenten hopped out of the trees, "Just that?"

Gai blinked, "… Yes… why?"

"Something just knocked him out." Tenten told him.

* * *

"TSUNADE-BAA-CHAN!!" Naruto screamed, destroying the door on the way into Tsunade's office, "I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!!"

Tsunade scowled, "For what? Being Hokage?"

Naruto stopped cold, "… Well, that too… but why'd you knock out Sasuke!?"

Tsunade's jaw dropped, "You destroyed my door because Sasuke got knocked out!? That thing was expensive!"

"DATTEBAYO!!" Naruto shouted in her face, "What's wrong with you!? You tell me you won't kill him, but then you go and knock him out?!"

Tsunade stood up angrily, "I did not knock him out! I didn't even _send_ anyone to knock him out! Now I demand that you pay for that door!"

"Don't pretend you're my sensei, hag!" Naruto yelled, before stopping to consider what he had just said, which was somewhat more aggressive than he usually was, "You know what? NEVER MIND!!"

* * *

Shikamaru laid his head on his arms; _Tsunade probably wouldn't knock him out… I didn't pick up on any shock the instant before he let go… Danzou, maybe? I'm starting to hate that guy… _"This is as troublesome as Itachi…"

"What?" Asuma asked, moving a piece on the shougi board.

Shikamaru looked up, "… Nothing."

Asuma glanced at him, "Really? I could swear you just said 'this is as troublesome as Itachi'."

Shikamaru scowled, "I did. Sasuke's unconscious, so it's nothing."

Asuma's hand froze its forward movement, "'_Nothing_?'"

"Really…" Ino said, watching, "Is it so surprising?"

Asuma's jaw dropped, barely believing what he was hearing, "… You really have changed."

"Not really." Chouji contradicted, "We just got used to living in abnormally close proximity to each other for eighteen hundred years."

* * *

Kiba groaned, and fell back, bending over the tree branch he was sitting on, feeling blood rushing to his head, _this is unbelievable…_

Shino glanced up at him, and seemed about to say something, but ended up not doing so.

Kurenai cocked her head at the sudden, somewhat odd-seeming behavior.

* * *

…

* * *

"_WHAT HAPPENED!?" Naruto demanded as soon as Sasuke materialized, "YOU MADE ME YELL AT TSUNADE-BAA-CHAN, DATTEBAYO!!"_

_Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "You always yell at her."_

"_BUT YOU MADE ME _YELL_ AT HER!! AND SHE MADE ME PAY FOR AN OVER-PRICED DOOR, DATTEBAYO!!"_

_Sasuke folded his arms, "What did you do, break it?"_

_Naruto practically had steam coming out of his ears now, "OF COURSE I BROKE IT!! _YOU_ WERE IN MY HEAD!!"_

"_How about we get back to the question?" Sakura intervened, "Sasuke-kun, how come you were unconscious?"_

_Sasuke shrugged, "Don't know. Probably a drug or something, because I felt a needle."_

_Naruto calmed down slightly, "Well, Tsunade-baa-chan said she didn't send anyone to knock you out…"_

"_Then on to the next question." Shikamaru said, "Sakura… what frightened you earlier?"_

_Sakura glanced at the blank nothingness surrounding them, "Our DNA is half-demon."_

"_Demon?" Shikamaru asked thoughtfully._

"_Someone call?" Shukaku asked, appearing beside Gaara._

"_No." Gaara snapped, "Go away."_

_Shukaku growled at his jinchuuriki, "Nah, I think I'll stay. What's this about demon DNA?"_

_Sakura looked sideways at the bijuu, "I recognized it from some demons' DNA I saw seven hundred years… … eleven hundred years from now."_

_Kyuubi appeared beside Naruto, interest piqued._

_Shikamaru's eyes glazed slightly, "Demons… huh? That would explain why Deidara wanted to feel our chakra signatures… back at Hogwarts."_

_Several shinobi and kunoichi narrowed their eyes, knowing that Shikamaru was piecing something else together that he wasn't telling them, and suddenly Naruto yelled at Shikamaru, "GAH!! I can't take it anymore! How come you're so depressed!? It usually takes _at least_ two years for you to get this bad!"_

_Shikamaru looked up in surprise, "… Sorry? I've just had a lot on my mind–"_

_Naruto gripped his hair, "Like what!?"_

_Shikamaru bit his lip, "Taking the whole DNA thing to start…"_

_Ino scowled, "Go on."_

_Shikamaru didn't meet her eyes, "… It's… uncertain…"_

"_Great." Temari said sarcastically, "The suspense is killing me. Just spit it out."_

_Shikamaru knew they were cornering him, "Just a thought about synthesis, nothing more than that."_

"_And it's been speeding up your depression _this_ much?" Kankuro demanded._

_Shino inclined his head, "With this 'thought' increasing your depression drastically, it's only a matter of time before it gets to a point that you return Home, as depression has always done before."_

_Kiba grinned, "So, you know what you going Home would leave us with? Increased intelligence twisted to our personalities, and inherent laziness. And as our elected leader, it's your duty to prevent that."_

_Shikamaru's eye twitched. It just kept coming up… not long after they decided to resign themselves to immortality; the fifteen of them had decided that it would be a good idea to have a leader. Using a simple voting system, Shikamaru had ended up on top. He would have liked to leave it to someone else, but Naruto and Sasuke were tied below him, which made him obligated to accept._

_He had managed to forget about it over time, and only rarely had to outright _order_ someone to do something, but it seemed that that had changed since they had gone to Hogwarts. Now he couldn't seem to get away from it._

_Shikamaru half-closed his eyes, "Then I guess I have no choice…"_

_The others tensed; waiting for whatever concept Shikamaru had come up with that could depress him so quickly._

"… _I'll make sure to stop getting depressed by it."_

_Jaws dropped, and Naruto jumped, "WHAAAT!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!"_

_Shikamaru smiled slightly, not responding. Shino did for him, "Then it is settled."_

_Kiba growled, "Fine, but one inch deeper into depression, and I'll be all ears."_

* * *

Meh… probably should have used a different name for Sai…

Oh, and I extend my apologies for trying to write a (admittedly one-sided) fight scene in chapter 3…


	5. Disturbed

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"What was the behavioral reaction?" Danzou asked in a large, dark room with two perpendicular pathways.

"Depression, and scattered mentioning of Itachi and power." Sai answered.

* * *

"Um… what's this?" Sakura asked, looking at the paper.

Tsunade scowled, "The closest thing we could find to DNA in Sasuke."

The right side of Sakura's mouth curved upward, hanging slightly open, and her right eye twitched, "Eh… heheh… it…"

"Doesn't look much like DNA does it?" Tsunade finished for her, "I suppose it shouldn't have been surprising, considering the Sharingan, curse mark, _and_ the other structure modification… _whatever it is_."

"I… guess…" Sakura said, staring at the paper, starting to be able to tell the demon modifications out of what appeared to be… well, a mess.

"What I called you here for…" Tsunade continued, "Is what scared you so much when you saw the other DNA pictures."

Sakura was somewhat surprised at how calm she felt, in stark contrast to the irrational terror from the day before. Thinking about it must have really helped… "They… the structure modifications… resemble properties in the DNA of demons. All except for Naruto… and probably Gaara."

Tsunade cocked her head, wordlessly inviting Sakura to continue.

Sakura looked at the papers on Tsunade's desk, "In his, or their, case… it's not just 'resemble'. The structure is fully demon."

Tsunade's mouth thinned, "… Demon? Like, say, Kyuubi?"

Sakura nodded, "There's also a world of demons, Makai, but it doesn't have notable access to this one, and most of them are weaker than Shukaku. I saw a few DNA samples from them, and recognized the structure similarities."

"Are the demons mortal?"

Sakura bit her lip, "Not age-wise… but they can be killed."

Tsunade grumbled, "Then I guess that would explain why you don't age, but it doesn't explain your inability to die… can these demons alter how old they look?"

Sakura shook her head, "Maybe a few… but it's not really a trademark ability."

Tsunade rubbed her head, "… No matter how I look at it, the only way to take care of this would be to dissect you all and _somehow_ piece you back together with your previous DNA… _somehow_ duplicating Sasuke, Neji, and Hinata's DNA… during which, _somehow _not killing you all…"

Sakura's head dropped as Tsunade trailed off, "So… no matter how you look at it, it's impossible?"

Tsunade nodded gloomily, "There's _got_ to be a solution…"

Sakura stared at her feet, "And you can't just kill us by destroying our DNA… because we'd be long gone before you could really do anything…"

Tsunade looked up sharply, "_Sakura_, I do _not_ want to hear you talking as though you _wished_ for death."

Sakura bit her lip, _but… I do… _"Hai, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade shifted her papers around a bit, "… Sakura?"

Sakura looked up, "Yes?"

"… When you were… synthesized… do you recall saying anything about… I don't know… 'My bijuu'?"

Sakura blinked, "No…? Although, that sounds like the Akatsuki motto…"

Tsunade smiled slightly, "Eh, heh… never mind. Are you absolutely sure you can't go insane?"

Sakura frowned, "Yes, why?"

Tsunade's smile gained a trace of genuineness, "We may need some… _future _assistance."

Sakura's eyes widened.

* * *

…

* * *

"You're… sending us back?" Kiba asked through a jaw nearly as tall as he was (it went from about his normal jaw line to the floor).

Tsunade nodded, "Technically, we're sending you _forward_. We've sent a message to Suna informing them of our intention. We'll wait to see if Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari want to come. If not, then we won't have to wait for them."

Sakura frowned, "Wouldn't it be easier to do it in two trips?"

Tsunade looked at her in surprise, "It'll have to be a permanent– oh, right, you don't know the specifics of time jumping, do you?"

"Please, enlighten us." Ino said pleasantly, feeling somewhat irritated. Shikamaru glanced at the others, mentally noting that they still hadn't noticed that they hadn't told anyone about sleep, _I probably shouldn't try to hide it… so why am I…? What advantage does it give?_

Still, he remained silent as Tsunade went on to explain time jumping: "Basically, there are two ways to time-jump. Both place a strain on sanity, but we shouldn't have to worry about this if you are absolutely sure you cannot go insane."

Sakura raised a finger as if quoting something, "Our mental state is set. Occurrences that would cause an average human mind to collapse will be countered with a splitting headache, and flashbacks. Shock is nullified by a brief numb emotional state, which can last up to one second."

Tsunade's hands stiffened, "I see you've learned at least a little of your… condition. I had just mentioned that there are two ways to time-jump; these are temporary and permanent. Temporary time jumping will keep you in the targeted time period for as long as your chakra can sustain you. After returning, you must rest in order for your mind to recover, though once again this is probably irrelevant to you.

"Permanent jumping, however, will only require chakra until you reach your destination. The thing is, the mental damage is also permanent, though it will not show in behavior unless you make another permanent time jump, which will drive you insane. Again, we don't have to worry about that."

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes, "This sounds like something that would take time to master."

Tsunade nodded the affirmative, "It is. It took a month to get it set up, and the amount of time you jump forward had to be set… we made the mistake of putting Kakashi in charge of setting the date, which is why it's so incredibly far into the future."

Naruto tilted his head, folding his arms, "So… are you going to teach us how to jump?"

Tsunade looked surprised, "Didn't I tell you? Jiraiya's going to be taking you."

"NANI?!"

"Wait…" Shikamaru said, eyes narrowed, "You said it would be permanent. So if Jiraiya comes with us, he can't go back."

Tsunade smiled sadly, "It's unavoidable. The future needs someone who _knows_ how shinobi work. Right now your knowledge is meager, and this needs to be solved in the shortest amount of time possible. After all, if you go 'Home', we may never get a chance to fix this. And besides, you should probably be back before the school year starts."

Shikamaru couldn't argue with that. He wanted to say that on the off chance they _did_ go Home, Tsunade could reset whatever she needed to accordingly, but he got the strong feeling that if they went Home, they would not be on the planet whenever Tsunade came to look. They were lucky enough that Kakashi had managed to get a time that they _weren't_ in Home… "… Hai."

Tsunade stood up, "Then if it's agreed…" no one said anything, "… The reply from Suna should be arriving about now."

"So…" Naruto said, "We're not taking Sasuke?"

Tsunade shook her head, "He'll remain here."

* * *

…

* * *

"'Explanations have been given.'" Tsunade read out loud, "'It is ludicrous, but irrefutable evidence has been provided. The siblings will remain in Suna for one day, before returning to Konoha to jump forward with the sannin Jiraiya, for the purpose of finding an answer to this dilemma.'"

"Great!" Naruto said happily, "Four days in Konoha before we have to go with Ero-sennin to Reikai!"

* * *

That night…

* * *

"_So, Gaara, how'd you convince them to let you go?" Kiba asked._

_Gaara shrugged, "I threatened to unleash Shukaku on them."_

_As if on cue, Shukaku appeared, "Can you _believe_ they agreed to let him come!? I'm _dying_ for some fresh air!"_

"_My question is…" Ino said, "How'd you convince them you were telling the truth?"_

_Temari grinned, "He slept."_

_Kankuro chuckled, "They were hysterical when they heard the method, and were all on edge until he woke up. It was hilarious."_

_Since the fifteen of them were still in a basically conscious state while they slept (it wasn't really sleep, but it was the closest they got, since they recovered energy in that state and all outward appearances indicated they were sleeping, even though the only sense of the world outside of this so-called 'sleep' that they didn't use was sight, since that was focused in this non-realm__... well, that, and they couldn't control their bodies, though they were aware of them__) Gaara could still 'sleep' without Shukaku coming out._

_Although, it had been established that if either Shukaku or Kyuubi wanted to come out, they needed permission from their jinchuuriki, at least, preferably with agreement from all others._

_Sasuke scowled, "What, exactly, is going on?"_

_Naruto grinned, "We're jumping back to the future with Ero-sennin. Without you."_

_Sasuke bit his tongue, feeling anger boiling inside him, "Permanently?"_

_Naruto half-nodded, but froze before his head finished rising, "… How do you know about…?"_

_Sasuke almost seemed to slide away from the group, "There are a lot of things I know."_

_A thought suddenly occurred to Shikamaru; _would being in different time periods affect sleep? What if one of them went Home? Was Home bound by time?

"_Shikamaru!" Naruto yelled, "I feel something bordering on depression! Come on!"_

_Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, "Are you monitoring my emotions or something?"_

_Naruto nodded proudly, "We're taking shifts."_

_Shikamaru's mouth opened slightly, and he covered up for the slight gape by talking; "I was wondering if jumping across time without one of us might cause some… side-effects."_

_Kiba cocked his head, "Side-effects? What do you mean?"_

_Shikamaru shook his head, "… I… don't know. I just don't know… there's too much I don't know…" his voice got quieter as he went on, until he was just whispering, "Far too much…"_

_Kiba leaned toward Shikamaru, "Oy… depression alert. HEY, YOU THERE!!"_

_Shikamaru's head jerked up, "Wh– sorry."_

_Temari scowled, "Sorry, but 'sorry' isn't going to cut it this time."_

_Shikamaru bit his lip, and he looked down, hiding his pupils, which had suddenly contracted in response to a sudden, distant feeling of… laughing… "Synthesis. Just synthesis."_

_Ino's eyes narrowed, "And… it's _scaring_ you?"_

_Shikamaru drew a deep, silent breath, and looked back up, feeling a throbbing headache coming on, "I'm fine now. I was just coming up with situations disturbing enough to cause insanity." It was true enough… although those particular scenarios didn't involved the theory that was getting him depressed._

_Chouji frowned, "And?"_

_Shikamaru winced. It was so troublesome, trying to hide something… why _was _he trying to hide it? How had he gotten into this habit of hiding things?_

_Heheheh…_

_And _that_ didn't help much…_

"_Hey…" Naruto spoke up, "Does anyone else get the feeling of something… I dunno… laughing?"_

_Shikamaru's pupils contracted again, and he half-lidded his eyes as the headache intensified, accompanied by some images from so, so long ago…_

_Tenten looked slightly surprised, "Yeah, actually… it's… kind of creepy…"_

_Kiba glanced at Tenten, "'Kind of'? I'd say it's downright disturbing."_

"_Yo, Kyuubi!" Naruto called, "Do you hear something laughing?"_

_Kyuubi materialized, "Yes, now leave me alone, kit."_

_Neji narrowed his eyes. When Sakura had been scared, she had told them why… but now Shikamaru seemed to be in a similar situation, and was deflecting attempts to find out what it was. It was kind of__… annoying.  
_

_Kyuubi disappeared, and sleep proceeded silently._

* * *

Technically, they're not really _in control_ of their bodies during sleep… they're just _aware_ of it, and what's going on around it.

That thing with Shikamaru is coming up too often, and I'm dropping some things I meant to save…

Well, practice makes perfect. The plot is within my grasp, and all I have to do is write it… and hope it doesn't fall apart with my apparently pathetic attempts at explaining things…


	6. Jump

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

I seem to have run into something of a dilemma for Chapter 7. Due to this, this fanfic is going to be put on a kind of hiatus. Hopefully, though, if I don't get it updated next week, it will be updated the week after that.

I don't like filler, but if this happens again, I may put in random flashbacks from the fifteen of random occurrences during that eighteen hundred year timeskip.

Maybe... but for now, I'll probably start working on a short fanfic and go at a slightly more relaxed pace for this week.

* * *

"When are we going? When are we going? When are we going? When are we…" Naruto asked over and over again. Tsunade looked like she was nearing the furthest reaches of her patience (her hand was clenching dangerously). It had been four days since Tsunade had announced she was sending them forward, and Jiraiya and the Sand Sibs still hadn't shown up yet. Naruto had been reluctant to agree to jumping forward at first, but when Tsunade had declared that she could find absolutely no way to fix their immortality on her own, he had suddenly been eager to be off.

Shikamaru had calmed down, and had managed to not get deeper into depression. In fact, he'd been able to cheer up a little, and now everyone else had all but forgotten his little panic attack. There hadn't been any more distant laughing, either, so they had all become relatively happy.

The Sand Sibs had become fairly cheerful, as well, despite having only one day in Suna, and Kankuro had told them the night before that the council there had come to the decision of making Gaara the Kazekage as soon as the mess was sorted out, and until then they would manage the village (actually, he had become Kazekage before, but had subsequently made Suna somewhat chaotic when he didn't come back).

So now Naruto, Sakura, teams 8, 10, and Gai, and Tsunade were in an unadorned room with fancy patterns on the floor, walls, and ceiling, waiting for Jiraiya, Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari to arrive… and Naruto, having become incredibly bored, was passing the time.

"When–"

Finally at the end of her rope, Tsunade's fist fully clenched, and swung at Naruto, who was predictably sent flying at the only door, and predictably crashed into Jiraiya just as he and the Sand Siblings were coming in.

Jiraiya sat up, pushing Naruto off in the process, "Itai… what was that for?!"

Tsunade smirked, "Took you long enough. Time to go."

Jiraiya took a deep breath, looking around the room longingly, "Yeah… then I guess…"

Tsunade cut him off, "You'll be able to visit, and considering how often you're in Konoha _anyway_, this might well be an improvement."

Jiraiya nodded, and walked to the center of the room, "Alright… everyone, hold someone's hand, and form a circle."

The psychologically younger shinobi/kunoichi silently obeyed. After they had all gotten into position, Jiraiya had the two on either side of him (Tenten and Chouji) hold onto his arms as he made several hand seals.

Tsunade closed her eyes as they disappeared, and air rushed to fill the space they had just occupied, _good luck…_

* * *

_Shino noticed a minor discomfort as lights and sound blurred around them in still whiteness, quite reminiscent of Home. A minor discomfort other than the immediate headache, anyway: there was a slight pulling feeling…_

_It lasted through the jump, until finally he could distinguish voices through the screaming calm, "Don't be so pessimistic–"_

* * *

"That takes care of that!" Yusuke stated cheerfully, "So we can head out now, right?"

Kurama glanced at him, "I wouldn't be so quick to–"

"Lighten up!" Yusuke interrupted, throwing an arm around Kurama's shoulders, "The crowd of thousand-year-old kids are back where they belong, so what else is there to do?"

"Hey…" Ron said, "You still haven't told us where we are…"

Dumbledore smiled reassuringly at the Weasely, "What did you think of the sights? I'd enjoy it, because we're going to be going back soon."

"But where _are_ we?" Hermione asked, "You all seem to be avoiding the question!"

"And what happened to everyone who disappeared with that blond woman?" Harry demanded.

Dumbledore's reassuring smile widened, becoming less and less comforting, "I wouldn't worry…"

Kuwabara grinned, "I can't wait to see my beautiful Yukina!"

Hiei looked at Kuwabara out of the corner of his eye, _carrot-head, ungainly, anti-intelligent _human_… _"Something in this room is killing my brain cells."

Kurama rubbed his head as Kuwabara narrowed his eyes at Hiei, and Yusuke snorted.

The slight tension was broken when Botan flew into the room, smiling, "So, we're finished with this mission, ne?"

"Yup!" Yusuke replied.

"Yusuke…" Kurama said, "This may not be over yet…"

Kuwabara looked at his red-haired companion, "Don't be so pessimistic!"

There was a slight gust of wind as there were suddenly fifteen more people in the room… accompanied by several huge explosions.

Kurama shielded his eyes; _I thought it wouldn't be over… unless trying to go back with Tsunade ended up with them only doing a temporary jump…_

He discarded that idea when the dust cleared to reveal _Jiraiya_, instead of Tsunade, with the fifteen other… wait, scratch that… there were only fourteen with him. Kurama's eyes narrowed, _how come Sasuke isn't with them?__ And, why so _soon_?_

"Yo!" Jiraiya shouted, "Long time no see!"

"Missed us?" Naruto asked cheerfully.

Yusuke's eye twitched, "We might've… if you'd been gone more than _five minutes_."

Fred leaned toward George, whispering "Now we know why Neji, Hinata, Gaara, and Ino were wearing contacts."

George nodded, "Now we just need to know why Shino wears those glasses 24/7, why Neji always wears a headband, and why Sasuke was wearing contacts…"

Fred narrowed his eyes, "Speaking of which…"

Jiraiya frowned, "Five minutes? We've been–"

He was interrupted by a loud popping sound of air displacement, and something large hit him dead-on, causing both to topple to the floor, and stirring up a cloud of dust despite Koenma keeping the room completely dust-free.

Shino noted that the tugging feeling disappeared, accompanied by the fleeting sensation of a whiplash.

The cloud of dust cleared, and there were many gasps when they saw… that Sasuke had just shot out of thin air and hit Jiraiya. Both were now groaning in pain, though Sasuke additionally sounded extremely disoriented.

Jiraiya stood up, revealing the reason for the mystery dust: a Jiraiya-shaped hole in the floor.

"How did you…?!" Naruto shouted, as several shinobi moved instinctively to detain Sasuke. It took as much time for them to actually register what had _happened_ when there was sand covering the Uchiha's lower legs, bugs crawling on his arms, two of Neji's fingers at the front of his throat, a sickle at the back, and a shadow running between him and Shikamaru, all before he even stood up.

Everyone in the room was about to say 'what' and trail off, when there were two more loud popping sounds, again of displaced air, and Haku and Zabuza hit the smooth floor. Haku landed gracefully, sliding effortlessly as he slowed down and stopped. Zabuza was slightly less graceful, but he did land on his feet, and stayed on his feet.

This time, no one was composed enough to even say 'what'. Everyone except for Shino and Sasuke had their mouths open in shock. Still, Sasuke looked shocked enough when his eyes adjusted to the light.

Zabuza looked around, "… You time-jumped."

"Yes." Shino replied, "Why are you here?"

A while back, in Hogwarts, Haku and Zabuza had appeared (out of thin air) in the Forbidden Forest. They'd stayed there for the duration of year, having nothing better to do, and Shino had occasionally given them English lessons. They then came to Reikai with the fifteen plus the Reikai Tantei, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Malfoy, and Dumbledore, where they joined the shinobi and Tsunade when jumping back to the past, and subsequently proceeded to the Reikai in the past, since they had, technically, _died_…

Zabuza decided to explain, and demand an explanation in return afterwards; "We explained what we knew of the situation to the Reikai officials. They seemed happy enough that we reappeared, but weren't sure how to handle it. So they let us… help you. In any way we can. So they did something to connect us to you, time-wise. In return, we're promised a cheerful afterlife." His speech got slightly disjointed toward the end, and he emphasized the last sentence.

Naruto grinned, "So, you do care! Man, you guys are great, dattebayo!"

Haku smiled happily, "Why, thank you."

Zabuza, on the other hand, didn't meet Naruto's eyes, "Shut up, and make sure to warn us before you do that again. That hurt… now why did you come… forward?"

Sasuke gripped his head, muttering under his breath, "_You_ think it was painful?"

Jiraiya, also gripping his head, looked down at Sasuke, "Did you say something?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth, "No. You know, Neji, Tenten…"

"We're staying here, if that's what you were going to ask." Tenten interrupted, lightly holding her sickle. Sasuke scowled.

Meanwhile, Shikamaru released his Kagemane, and turned to Haku and Zabuza, "We came forward because Tsunade-sama said we'd need help from this time period."

Koenma gaped, "What!? … In that case, I'm flattered, now what's the problem?"

Kiba's eye twitched, "Well, for one, we're _immortal_ and stuff…"

Koenma cleared his throat; "I knew _that_… I mean, what's causing it?"

"Home." The shinobi and kunoichi answered unanimously.

"… What?" Koenma asked, "Home? You mean Konowa… or wherever it was you just came from?"

"Um, guys?" Ron tried to break in.

"Konoha. And no, Home is a different… place." Sakura corrected, "To be more specific on the immortality, we think it's caused by demon DNA that's been grafted into ours."

"_Demon DNA_?!" Yusuke demanded.

"'Grafted'?" Kurama asked.

"Into _humans_…?" Hiei wondered quietly.

Sakura rubbed her head, "Well… for most of us, the demon aspects take up half the DNA structure, but Naruto and Gaara's DNA is completely demon…" She had learned that just before leaving, when pictures had arrived from Suna of the Sand Siblings' DNA, "… Neji and Hinata's DNA, which had already been mutated from having kekkai genkai, is extremely twisted, and Sasuke's…" She glanced at her former teammate, "… Due to having a kekkai genkai, in addition to the demon alterations, and… other things… it doesn't really look like DNA…"

Sasuke _really_ didn't appreciate some of the looks he got in response to that.

"If I may ask…" Kurama said, "What, exactly, is a kekkai genkai?"

Naruto did a small jump, "Oh, oh! I know!"

"This is _so_ frustrating…" Hermione growled.

Naruto decided not to wait for someone to ask him to explain, and fired away, "A kekkai genkai is a genetically developed ability!"

Yusuke frowned, "_How_ long were you gone again? 'Cuz I could _swear_ Naruto didn't have that kind of vocabulary when you left."

"Hey!" Naruto yelled, offended.

"What kind of ability?" Kurama asked curiously.

Botan rubbed her eyes, "They're going off on a tangent… excuse me? Could we get back to the problem at hand, please?"

"Yeah!" Koenma agreed, "So, do you expect to stay a second year at Hogwarts?"

Naruto nodded, "Of course! Sasuke and I haven't gotten our fight yet!"

Dumbledore coughed, "Ah… sorry, but I called that off…"

"WHAT?!" Naruto screamed, "HOW COULD YOU?!"

Dumbledore held up his hands in a placating gesture, "You see, we didn't think you'd be coming back…"

Naruto jumped at Dumbledore and started shaking him, "HOW DO YOU CALL SOMETHING LIKE THAT OFF IN _FIVE MINUTES_?!"

Dumbledore held up a finger, "I thought you said you were gone more than five minutes?"

Jiraiya cut in before Naruto screamed again, "On that note, we should have been gone several days… the time to be jumped across had been set, so how did we get here five minutes after we left?"

Shikamaru looked at Sasuke (who appeared to be slightly sick) thoughtfully as the room went silent, "… That was probably us."

Kurama looked at Shikamaru, "'Us'?"

Shikamaru nodded, gesturing at the other immortal shinobi and kunoichi, "Judging by the difference in time that passed here, the time that passed in the past, and Sasuke's appearance, it's likely the only time we're bound by is each others'. We can't leave another one of us in a different time period, but are otherwise not restricted by time… even though Jiraiya was the one initiating the jump."

Sakura was a bit worried, "But Sasuke-kun was in a chakra-suppressing room… so what kind of energy was used to tie us together?"

It went unsaid that Sakura wasn't only referring to time. They had been tied together emotionally, as well, after all, not to mention sleep…

Shikamaru shook his head, "Either demon chakra, or something else entirely."

There was an awkward silence that stretched out for a few minutes (in which Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Malfoy seethed at being left out), until Koenma spoke up, "Then I guess that just leaves where you'll be staying until next year."

"I've already thought of something." Dumbledore said, "You're divided into five teams, right?"

Shikamaru nodded, and Dumbledore smiled, "Well then, four of your teams can stay with the Heads of Houses… and Jiraiya can stay in Hogwarts."

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes, "Where would that leave the last team?"

Dumbledore's smile gained a mischievous quality, "Who would the last team be?"

Shikamaru thought for a moment, "Well, Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari would obviously go to Slytherin, Neji, Tenten, and Lee would best fit Griffindor… I guess Ino, Chouji, and I are best suited for Hufflepuff, and Shino, Kiba, and Hinata would be in Ravenclaw… that just leaves Team 7."

Dumbledore's grin widened, "They can stay with the Weaselys."

"Did I just hear my last name?" Ron asked. Unfortunately, he was drowned out by the chorus of "NANI!?" from most of the others in the room.

* * *

(From here on out: "Japanese", "English")

* * *

"So what was that all about, anyway?" Ron asked as he, Fred, George, and Team 7 stood before the Burrow.

"Nothin' much." Naruto replied casually, "Just discussing housing and such… cause, we're, uh… well, we all live a _really_ long way away from Hogwarts, or even the train station, so it's hard for us to get there…"

Fred grinned, "Aw, admit it!"

George leaned down, "You jumped across time to get here!"

Naruto jumped back, "How do you figure out that stuff!?"

Fred and George did a high-five, "We have our ways…" "So what's the deal with the headbands?"

Naruto laid a hand on his hitai-ate protectively, "It's the mark of being a shinobi!"

The twins frowned as Ron tried to absorb the 'jump across time' part, "Then…" "… How come Sasuke doesn't have one?"

Naruto grinned, reaching into his backpack, "He does! Right… here!" He fished out Sasuke's scarred hitai-ate.

Sasuke scowled, "You still hang on to that?"

Naruto scowled back, "Dattebayo!"

The twins examined the two forehead protectors, "So Sasuke doesn't take care of his as well as the rest of you?"

Naruto grinned a little sheepishly, starting to get slightly nostalgic, "Actually… I did that…"

"How come those three Slytherins…" "… Had a different picture?"

Naruto looked at the hitai-ate in his hand, "Well, they're from Sunagakure, and we're from Konohagakure."

"So…" "You have different pictures?"

Naruto nodded, "Each village has a different picture!"

Fred and George looked at each other, "Those were the names…" "… Of villages?"

Naruto nodded again, "You don't know Japanese at all, do you?"

The twins looked insulted, "Hey!" "We studied it a little last year!"

Understanding dawned on Naruto, "Ah! Then you just didn't study it _enough_!"

"HEY!!"

"Let's head inside, okay?" Ron suggested, "I'm sure mum's waiting for us…"

Sakura looked up at the sky, "I'm glad Dumbledore sent that owl to tell her we're staying here…"

Sasuke looked doubtfully at the Burrow, "If that thing is anywhere near as flimsy as it looks, I don't think we'll be staying long."

* * *

Something I've been wondering… Japanese doesn't have plural, right? I'm working on learning it, but progress is somewhat slow…

Anyway, as far as I know, the closest it would get would be like watashi-tachi, or anata-tachi, or san-bai, or things like that…

So, when you're writing a fanfic, using gratuitous Japanese, and are referring to, say, multiple ninja, or shinobi (usually without specifying the number), do you or do you not use plural? ('cuz I've seen authors use plural, but it seems out of place)


	7. Reunions

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Skipping across a few months due to excessive violence, a couple of nosebleeds that caused no small portion of the violence, and an incident involving a slug, a snake, a frog, and a rat, we move on to a house occupied by the Dursleys and Harry Potter…

I'm afraid, due to some... issues... I will not be able to update for a month. I may or may not be as upset about this as you are (I am pretty upset about it, but it can't be helped).

* * *

Harry slowly turned through the album he had gotten from Hagrid last year. He looked up when his snowy owl started chirping indignantly.

"I can't let you out, Hedwig." Harry told her sadly, "I'm not allowed to use magic outside of school. Besides, if Uncle Vernon–"

"Harry Potter!" Said uncle yelled from downstairs.

"Now you've done it." Harry snapped. He got up, and headed downstairs, where Aunt Petunia was putting some finishing touches on a beautiful cake.

"He's in there, Vernon?" Harry inquired. Petunia turned back to her cake, and Harry walked to the next room, where Vernon was straightening Dudley's suit.

"I'm warning you, if you can't control that bird, it'll have to go." Vernon said.

"But she's bored." Harry protested, "If I could only let her out for an hour or two…"

Vernon scoffed, "So you can send secret messages to your freaky little friends? No, sir."

"But I haven't had any messages from any of my friends." Harry reluctantly admitted, "Not one… all summer…"

"Who would want to be friends with you?" Dudley demanded, walking over and shouldering Harry on the way.

Vernon, coming after him, looked down on Harry, his voice strained, "I should think… you'd be a little more grateful. We've raised you since you were a baby, given you the food off our table, even let you have Dudley's second bedroom, purely out of the goodness of our hearts!"

They were interrupted by Petunia hitting Dudley's hand when he reached toward her cake, "Not now, pumpkin. It's for when the Masons arrive."

Vernon held up his hands, "Which should be any minute!"

On cue, they all walked into the living room, and Vernon continued, "Now, let's go over our schedule once again, shall we? Petunia, when the Masons arrive, you will be…?"

Petunia smiled, "In the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously to our home."

"Good, and Dudley, you will be…?"

"I'll be waiting to open the door." Dudley answered.

"Excellent." Vernon turned to Harry, "… And you?"

Harry kept his expression cool, "I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist."

"Too right, you will." Vernon said coldly, "With any luck, this could well be the day I make the biggest deal of my career, and _you_ will not _mess it up_."

* * *

So, naturally, when the Masons arrived, Harry walked to his room… where he found a weird creature with floppy pointed ears jumping on his bed.

"Harry Potter…" The creature said, hopping off the bed, "Such an honor it is…"

Harry closed the door quickly, not turning away from the creature, "Who are you?"

The ears vibrated a little, "Dobby, sir. Dobby the house-elf."

"Not to be rude or anything…" Harry said, "But this isn't a great time for me to have a house-elf in my bedroom."

The creature started, "Oh, yes, sir. D-Dobby understands. It's just that Dobby has come to tell you… it is difficult, sir. Dobby wonders where to begin…"

"Why don't you sit down?" Harry suggested. Dobby's constant twitching was wearing on his nerves.

"Sit down?" Dobby asked, "S-sit, sit down?"

Dobby suddenly started wailing, walking around aimlessly in short bursts, and Harry tried to calm him down, "Dobby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything."

Dobby stopped as abruptly as he had began, "Offend Dobby? Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir… but _never _has he been asked to sit down by a wizard… like an equal."

Harry smiled, and tried to lighten the atmosphere and keep this 'Dobby' calm, "You can't have met many decent wizards, then."

Dobby smiled, "No, I haven't." He suddenly frowned, "That was an awful thing to say."

Dobby walked to Harry's dresser, and started banging his head against it, repeating loudly, "Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!"

Harry hurried next to him, panicking at the thought of Vernon hearing this, "Stop, Dobby! Dobby, shush! Dobby, please stop!"

* * *

Vernon, smiling, was pouring a drink like a good host, when a muffled banging sound reached him (and everyone else). His smiled widened, "Oh, don't mind that, it's just the… cat."

* * *

Harry glanced at the door, continuing to plead with Dobby to stop. Dobby finished his self-punishment with a final "Bad Dobby!" and stepped dizzily away from the dresser, gripping his head.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked, concerned.

Dobby nodded, "Dobby had to punish himself, sir. Dobby almost spoke ill of his family, sir."

"Your family?" Harry wondered, sitting down.

Dobby nodded, crawling onto a chair in front of Harry, "The wizard family Dobby serves, sir. Dobby is bound to serve one family forever. If they ever knew Dobby was here…" Dobby shivered, "But Dobby had to come. Dobby has to protect Harry Potter, to warn him. Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year! There is a plot, a plot to make most terrible things happen!"

"What terrible things?" Harry asked in confusion, "Who's plotting them?"

Dobby tensed, moving his limbs jerkily, "Can't. Say."

Harry held his hands up when it looked like Dobby was about to start hitting his head again, "Okay, I understand. You can't say."

Dobby continued anyway, "Don't. Make me. Talk. I…" He climbed onto Harry's desk and picked up his lamp.

Harry watched in alarm, "Dobby. Dobby, put the lamp down."

Dobby didn't listen, and started beating himself over the head with Harry's lamp, "Bad Dobby…"

* * *

"So, when they arrive at the ninth hole…" Vernon said cheerfully, breaking off when he heard more noises coming from Harry's room.

* * *

"Give me the lamp!" Harry ordered, trying to take it away from Dobby by force, though Dobby held on stubbornly. He suddenly looked away when he heard someone approaching from the hall, and started pulling with more vigor, "Dobby, stop!"

He finally got the lamp, dropped it on the desk hurriedly, picked up Dobby, and walked quickly to his closet.

"Let me go!" Dobby protested. Harry ignored him and threw him in the closet, "Get in there and keep quiet."

Just in time for Vernon to come in, "What are you doing up here?" He demanded.

Harry tried to think quickly, "I was just–" The closet door cracked open, and he firmly shut it.

"You just ruined the punch line of my Japanese golfer joke."

Harry blinked, an image of Kuwabara and Hiei golfing together popping into his head, "Sorry."

The door cracked open again, and Harry shut it again. Vernon glanced at it, and turned back to Harry, raising a finger, "One more sound, and you'll wish you were never born, boy. And fix that door."

Harry nodded, "Yes, sir."

Vernon walked out, and Harry opened the door, "See why I've got to go back? I don't belong here. I belong in your world, at Hogwarts. It's the only place I've got friends."

Dobby wiped his nose, "Friends who don't even write to Harry Potter?"

Harry felt slightly defensive, "Well, I expect they've been… hang on. How do _you_ know my friends haven't been writing to me?"

Dobby stepped back, "Harry Potter mustn't be angry with Dobby. Dobby hoped, if Harry Potter thought his friends had forgotten him, Harry Potter might not want to go back to school, sir." He pulled out several letters.

"Give me those." Harry ordered, "Now."

Dobby held them protectively, "No!" And ran out the door. Harry went after him. They went down the stairs, and Dobby stopped when he spotted the cake that Petunia had made. Harry, seeing this, felt panic rise immediately.

Dobby looked back at Harry, who jabbed a finger at the ground, "Dobby, get back here."

Dobby shook his head, and snapped his fingers. The cake rose slowly into the air.

Harry's breathing quickened, "Dobby, please, no."

"Harry Potter must say he's not going back to school."

"I can't. Hogwarts is my home."

Dobby looked regretful, "Then Dobby must do it, sir, for Harry Potter's own good." He snapped his fingers again, and the cake slowly moved toward the group seated in the living room.

Harry hurried after it, slapping Dobby out of the way, and watching as Vernon yammered on and the cake hovered slowly.

Harry walked silently after it, holding out his hands to try to get it. The Dursleys each, in turn, spotted the floating cake, although it remained out of sight of the Masons, until Dobby snapped his fingers again, and the cake landed directly on Mrs. Mason's head.

Vernon immediately tried to smooth things over, "I'm so sorry. It's my nephew. He's very disturbed. Meeting strangers upsets him. That's why I kept him upstairs."

Harry looked back, and Dobby, with a final snap of his fingers, disappeared.

* * *

An hour or so later, Vernon stood on a ladder, angrily drilling bars into Harry's window, "You're never going back to that school. You're never going to see those freaky friends of yours again. Never!"

* * *

Harry woke up to a distant, odd sound, squinting. He put his glasses on, and walked to the window, seeing something that looked like a pair of eyes approaching. It was a flying car, and it pulled up next to the window. Inside were a certain three Weaselys.

Ron, in the passenger seat, leaned out the window, "Hiya, Harry."

Harry walked closer to the window, "Ron. Fred. George. What are you all doing here?"

"Rescuing you, of course!" Ron said, "Now come on, get your trunk!"

Harry smiled, got dressed, and grabbed his trunk. Ron placed a hook on the bars on Harry's window, "Better stand back." He turned to the driver, "Let's go."

* * *

Vernon's eyes snapped open at the loud sound of something breaking. He sat up hurriedly, waking Petunia, and walked quickly toward Harry's room. Petunia followed, and Dudley appeared soon enough, wanting to know what was going on.

* * *

Harry looked back worriedly when the unreasonably large amount of locks on his door started rattling, and being released, one by one. He dropped his suitcase in the back of the flying car, and grabbed Hedwig's cage as the car turned around.

Two doors opened; one, connecting Harry's room to the hallway (accompanied by a shout of "he's getting away!"), and the other connecting a car door to open air. Harry moved as fast as he could to climb through the second, but a chubby hand latching onto his ankle impeded his progress.

"Let me go!" Harry yelled.

Vernon snarled, "You and that pigeon aren't going anywhere!"

"Drive!" Ron said nervously, somewhat scared by Vernon's behavior. The twin at the steering wheel acquiesced, and Vernon let go as he was pulled out the window, and dropped a fair distance into the shrubs below.

* * *

…

* * *

The car rolled to a stop on the lawn of a large, rundown building. Harry and the three Weaselys climbed out.

The twins approached the front door cautiously. George carefully and quietly opened it, and the four boys entered the Burrow.

Harry looked around in wonder at the peaceful scene. A brush scrubbed a pan in the sink, a broom swept the floor, and floating above a worn chair, a couple of needles were knitting.

Ron stopped next to something, whispering, "Do you think it'll be all right if we had some?"

The twins joined him, Fred replying, "Yeah, mum'll never notice."

Ron joined Harry as he stared at the room, and took a break from chewing to talk, "It's not much… but it's home."

Harry smiled, "I think it's brilliant."

There was a sudden loud tramping sound, and Mrs. Weasely flew into the room, "Where have you been?!"

Ron and the twins hid their little snacks behind their backs, and Mrs. Weasely continued, "No note, beds empty, car gone! You could have been killed, you could have been _seen_!"

She turned to Harry, "Of course I don't blame you, Harry dear."

"They were starving him, mum!" Ron protested, "They had bars on his window!"

Mrs. Weasely scowled, "You'd better hope I don't put bars on _your_ window, Ronald Weasely!"

She turned back to Harry, smiling, "Come. Let's get you a spot of breakfast."

Harry nodded mutely, and the four wizards sat at a large table while Mrs. Weasely went to prepare some food. Percy soon joined them.

"S'wha's goin' on?" Someone asked, coming down the stairs slowly. Harry's eyes widened when Naruto, of all people, came into view. For some reason, he felt a nearly unnoticeable prick on his scar.

To add to his current surprise, something dropped off the ceiling and caught Naruto in a headlock. It's worth noting that this something had pink hair.

"What…?" Harry might have finished that, but he got the distinct feeling he didn't want to know.

As Naruto begged Sakura to let go, pointing out that she was suffocating him, and noting that he hadn't thought a huge toad on her bed would scare her _that_ much, Ron leaned toward Harry, "They've been staying with us all summer… it's been horrible…"

The twins grinned, and George chuckled, "At least it never gotten boring."

Ron grimaced, and Mrs. Weasely's smile faded, although her voice kept a cheerful note, "They rebuilt the attic even better than it was before."

Fred snorted, "Only after they destroyed it."

"This isn't the most sturdily built structure." Someone snapped, entering the room. It was Sasuke.

Harry blinked, getting the distinct impression Sasuke wasn't a morning person, "… How many…?"

"Just those three." Ron mumbled through his food, "But I swear, they're the worst combination in Hogwarts."

Suddenly, a red-haired girl came down, "Mummy, have you seen my jumper?"

Mrs. Weasely looked up, "Yes, dear, it was on the cat."

The girl looked down, and noticed Harry. Her eyes widened.

"Hello." Harry greeted. The girl backed off slowly, and ran away. The twins laughed quietly.

"What did I do?" Harry asked.

"Ginny." Ron replied, "She's been talking about you all summer. A bit annoying, really."

The door opened, "Morning, Weaselys!" Mr. Weasely hailed.

"Morning, dad!" The Weaselys replied.

"What a night!" Mr. Weasely sighed, "Nine raids. Nine!"

"Raids?" Harry wondered.

"Dad works in the Ministry of Magic." Ron explained, "In the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. Dad loves Muggles, thinks they're fascinating."

Mr. Weasely sat down, "Well, now." He looked at Harry, "… And who are you?"

Harry adjusted his seating position to face the head of the household, "Sorry, sir. I'm Harry, sir. Harry Potter."

Mr. Weasely was struck dumb for a moment, "… Are you really? Well, Ron has told us all about you, of course." He turned his attention to his plate, "When did he get here?"

"This morning." Mrs. Weasely stated, "Your sons flew that enchanted car of yours to _Surrey_ and back last night."

Mr. Weasely looked surprised, "Did you really? How'd it go?"

There were a couple of gasps, and Mrs. Weasely slapped her husband, who immediately put on a serious face, "I mean– that was very wrong indeed, boys. Very wrong of you."

Harry and Ron exchanged glances, and Mr. Weasely remained completely serious, "Now, Harry, you must know all about Muggles. Tell me, what _exactly _is the function of a rubber duck?"

Harry was speechless, "Oh, um…"

A slight noise interrupted him, and Mrs. Weasely looked at the window, "Well, that'll be Errol with the post."

Harry watched the owl flap gracefully toward the window. Or at least, it was gracefully until it _hit_ the window, and then sat as not much more than a pile of feathers on the windowsill.

Mrs. Weasely gestured to the window, "Fetch it, will you, Percy, please?"

Percy obediently walked to the window, opening it, "Errol."

"He's always doing that." Ron commented.

Naruto grinned, talking through a full mouth, "And it never gets old."

Percy looked through the mail, "Oh, look, it's our Hogwarts letters. They've sent Harry's, as well."

"Dumbledore must know you're here, Harry." Mr. Weasely observed, "Doesn't miss a trick, that man."

"No." Harry agreed.

"This won't come cheap, mum." One of the twins commented, looking at his letter, "The spell books alone are very expensive."

"We'll manage." Mrs. Weasely said optimistically, looking at another, "There's only one place we're going to get all of this. Diagon Alley."

* * *

The large group faced a large fireplace. Mrs. Weasely picked up a bowl of powder, and held it out, "Here we go, Harry. You go first, dear."

"But Harry's never traveled by Floo Powder before, mum." Ron told her.

"'Floo Powder'?" Harry asked.

"You go first, Ron." Mrs. Weasely corrected, "So that Harry can see how it's done. Yes."

Ron walked to the fireplace, and Mrs. Weasely laid a hand on his back, "In you go. That's it."

Ron scooped out a handful of powder from Mrs. Weasely's bowl, and the rest backed off as he said loudly, "Diagon Alley."

Ron dropped the powder, and huge green flames immediately rose up, engulfing him. It couldn't have lasted longer than five seconds before the flames disappeared, taking Ron with them.

"Whoa!" Naruto gasped. Sakura looked at him in disgust, "Don't tell me you 'skimmed' over that little detail, too!"

"You see?" Mrs. Weasely said, holding out a hand to Harry, "It's quite easy, dear. Don't be afraid. Come on."

Harry stepped forward reluctantly, with Mrs. Weasely's coaxing not really helping sooth his nerves. He turned around when he got into the fireplace.

"That's right." Mrs. Weasely encouraged, "Now, take your Floo Powder. That's it, very good…" She stepped away, "Now don't forget to speak very, _very_ clearly."

Harry tried to take a deep breath. When that failed, he let the short phrase out in a burst as he dropped the powder, "Diagon Alley!"

Mrs. Weasely stepped forward when the flames died down, "What did he say, dear?"

"Diagonally." Mr. Weasely answered.

"I thought he did…" Mrs. Weasely sighed.

* * *

…

* * *

Harry slid out roughly from under a small fireplace in a cloud of dust. He coughed slightly, and stood up, finding his glasses and putting them on, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dim light.

He walked slowly, seeing shelves of small skulls and containers of something he didn't think he wanted to know about. This hardly looked like Diagon Alley…

Seeing an odd hand thing sitting upright on a shelf, he curiously reached out to feel it, and jumped when the hand suddenly close on his own, gripping painfully.

Harry hissed, and pried off the hand with some difficulty, walking away quickly until he found the way out of the… shop.

* * *

Naruto looked around cheerfully at the bustling Alley. Sakura was quite cheerful, as well, until she remembered something. She snapped her fingers when it came to mind, and Naruto and Sasuke looked at her.

Sakura sighed, "We're supposed to be twelve now."

Naruto's somewhat idiotic grin disappeared, "Aw, man…"

Sasuke gave Diagon Alley a cursory glance, "Everyone else should be here about now. We might as well find some secluded area in Nockturne Alley, and get it over with."

"Funny. Kankuro said almost the exact same thing." Kiba's voice came behind them, "Shikamaru agreed, and we've been waiting for a half hour."

Sakura scowled, "So, what you're basically trying to say is 'get moving'?"

Kiba looked thoughtful, "More to the effect of 'finally, now come on.'"

Naruto nodded, "That sounds much better."

Kiba smiled ironically, "Finally! Now come on!"

* * *

Harry walked out in a dark, narrow, unfamiliar alley. He kept walking, getting somewhat nervous, hardly noticing that the people were getting even scarcer than they had started.

Harry glanced around when he felt something odd in the air. He moved toward it slowly, curiously…

'Tic, tic,' went his shoes on the cobblestone. No one was here…

It almost felt like something he'd been anticipating for a long time… he didn't notice the warning prickle his scar was giving…

'Thump, thump,' went his heartbeat.

Like a nearly completed goal that brought him one step closer… one step…

Tic, tic, tic, tock, tic, tock, thump, thump… just around the corner… the prickling got stronger…

Tic, tock…

Harry laid his hands on the corner of a run-down building, and peeked around it, his eyes half-lidded.

Tic, tock…

The scene in front of him did not startle him. Nothing sped up or slowed down… it was already going so very slowly…

Thump, thump…

Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Lee, Neji… he recognized them, at least… everyone else… he recognized them, but didn't remember their names… in fact, this was almost everyone who had disappeared with that lady and reappeared five minutes later with the old guy. All except for those two others that he had never learned the names of…

Uzumaki Naruto, genin. Uchiha Sasuke, missing-nin. Haruno Sakura, genin. Inuzuka Kiba, genin. Aburame Shino, genin. Hyuuga Hinata, genin. Akimichi Chouji, genin. Nara Shikamaru, chuunin. Yamanaka Ino, genin. Rock Lee, genin. Hyuuga Neji, genin. Tenten, genin. Gaara, Kazekage. Kankuro, genin. Temari, genin.

Harry didn't question why their names all suddenly came to mind, or why the terms 'genin', 'chuunin', 'missing-nin', and 'Kazekage' appeared right afterwards. It did not seem odd… to the contrary: it felt perfectly unnatural.

Wait… now that thought _did_ seem odd… but he hardly noticed.

No one else was here… but he thought he could feel the presence of something else… as the fifteen in front of him… grew?

Tic, tock, tic, tock…

No, his eyes must be playing tricks on him…

_Of course_.

Thump… thump…

What seemed to be an optical illusion ended, and they no longer seemed to be growing… Harry suddenly felt the urge to leave… to not be here… the scar was now searing. He turned and ran back into the main alley (if one could call it that), breathing free only when the pain in his head had died down.

Suddenly, an old witch got in front of him, gripping his robe, "Not lost, are you, my dear?"

Harry's breath caught, "I'm fine, thank you. I was just going…" He turned around, but found his path blocked by two tall shadowy wizards.

The witch laid a hand on his shoulder, "Come with us. We'll help you find your way back."

"No. Please–" Harry protested, but he was suddenly cut off by a deep, wonderfully familiar voice.

"Harry?"

"Hagrid!" Harry exclaimed thankfully. The three that had blocked his way fell back into the shadows at the appearance of the large man.

"What do you think you're doing down here?" Hagrid asked, "Come one."

Harry eagerly joined Hagrid, who led him back to Diagon Alley.

"You're a mess, Harry." Hagrid remarked, "Skulking around in Nockturne Alley? Dodgy place. Don't want no one to see you there. People will think you're up to no good."

"I was lost." Harry said, "I– hang on. What were _you_ doing down there then?"

"Me? Oh, I was… I was looking for Flesh-Eating Slug Repellant. They're ruining all the school cabbages."

They were soon met by Hermione, who ran up to them happily, "Harry! Hagrid!"

"Hello Hermione." Hagrid welcomed cheerfully.

"It's so good to see you!" Hermione said.

"It's good to see you, too." Harry returned, smiling.

"What did you do to your glasses?" Hermione asked. She drew her wand, and pointed them at Harry's cracked glasses, "_Oculus Reparo_."

Harry's breath caught when the crack disappeared. He adjusted the glasses, "I definitely need to remember that one."

"You'll be all right now then, Harry?" Hagrid inquired, "Right. I'll leave you to it." He left.

Harry and Hermione bid him farewell, and Hermione turned back to Harry, "Come on, everyone's been so worried."

* * *

Naruto's eye twitched as he, Sakura, and Sasuke walked out of Madam Malkin's Robes For All Occasions, "Something's wrong with you."

Sasuke growled, "This. Was. Not. My. Idea. _Idiot_."

Sakura grinned, "Ino and I got together with the rest of the fanbase last year to design it. So what do you think, Sasuke?"

Sasuke scowled, "You've _memorized_ my twelve-year-old measurements?"

Sakura's smile froze, "Well… it was mostly Ino and the rest's idea, anyway…"

The red and white fan glowing on the back of Sasuke's new robes almost seemed to be grinning defiantly, aided by the sun's rays.

Ino suddenly jogged up, and smiled happily when she saw Sasuke's fan, "So she actually agreed to make that? Cool! Just one thing…" She put a hand near her mouth secretively, "It looks like Kurama… er, Shuichi's fanbase did something similar. They did a rose."

Sakura frowned in thought, "Well, I guess they based that off his Rose Whip, but even though they don't realize it, there's no way they can beat the fan!"

Ino grinned, "Especially since they had to estimate his measurements, so it won't fit nearly as well as Sasuke's!"

As Sakura and Ino decided then and there to plan ways to beat Kurama's fanbase, Naruto and Sasuke decided then and there to make themselves absent.

Coincidentally, they both decided to go to Fourish and Botts (and, obviously, there was no shortage of contention on the way there).

* * *

Hermione led Harry to Flourish and Botts, where they met the Weaselys.

"Thank goodness." Mrs. Weasely sighed, patting the dust off of Harry's robe, "We'd hoped you'd only gone one grate too far."

"Ladies and gentlemen…" Someone announced, "I give you Gilderoy Lockhart."

There were several gasps and scattered applause as the recently introduced man entered the room. Mrs. Weasely spun around, "Here he is…"

"Mum fancies him." Ron remarked to Harry. Mrs. Weasely turned briefly to slap Ron, and adjusted her hair as she turned her attention back to Lockhart.

"Make way there, please." An old wizard holding a camera said, "Let me by, madam. Thank you. Excuse me, little girl. This is for the _Daily Prophet_."

Finally having made his way to the front of the crowd, the man readied himself, and snapped a picture of Lockhart.

Lockhart obligingly posed, but stopped and frowned when he noticed a couple of things.

1. Harry.

2. At best, only one half of the female population in the store was looking at him. The other half was looking at a red-haired, green-eyed boy. Polite kid, constantly smiling calmly, browsing through the bookshelves…

"It can't be. Harry Potter?" Lockhart breathed, splitting his attention, _one half… I've got work to do here…_

He smiled cheerfully at the reporter, inwardly narrowing his eyes when no less than a third of the witches turned their attention to someone who had just come in. Black hair, black eyes… looked like the anti-social type, if the scowl and general mannerisms were anything to judge by. Kind of _young_, though…

_Looks like I'm going to have some tough competition…_

"Harry Potter!" The old wizard exclaimed, grabbing Harry's shoulder and pushing him forward, "Excuse me, madam…"

Gilderoy cheerfully pulled Harry next to him, "Nice big smile, Harry. Together, you and I rate the front page."

He continued after the next shot, "Ladies and gentlemen, what an extraordinary moment this is. When young Harry stepped into Flourish and Botts this morning, to purchase my autobiography, _Magical Me_…"

Applause. Hermione smiled blissfully, and Ron squinted incredulously.

"… Which, incidentally, is currently celebrating its 27th week atop the _Daily Prophet_ bestseller list, he had no idea that he would, in fact, be leaving…" He turned, and was handed a stack of books, "… With my _entire_ collected works… free of charge" He dumped the stack on Harry, and pushed him away gently after another picture, "Now, ladies."

Harry stumbled away, and Mrs. Weasely relieved him of the books, "Harry, now you give me those, and I'll get them signed. All of you wait outside. That's it."

They walked away, but were stopped by Malfoy before they reached the door.

"I bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?" Malfoy sneered, "Famous Harry Potter. Can't even go into a _bookstore_ without making the front page."

Ginny stepped forward, "Leave him alone."

Malfoy smiled maliciously, "Oh, look, Potter. You've got yourself a girlfriend."

"Now, now, Draco." A wizard interrupted, tapping Malfoy on the shoulder and pushing him away, "Play nicely. Mr. Potter… Lucius Malfoy." He reached out and shook Harry's hand, "We meet at last. Forgive me." He abruptly pulled Harry closer, and lay a hand on Harry's scar, "Your scar is legend. As, of course, is the wizard who gave it to you."

"Voldemort killed my parents." Harry said coldly. Lucius let him go, and he finished, "He was nothing more than a murderer."

"You must be very brave to mention his name." Lucius said calmly, "Or very foolish."

"Fear of a name only increases fear of a thing itself." Hermione stated.

"And you must be… Miss Granger." Lucius identified, looking to Malfoy for confirmation, "Yes, Draco has told me all about you. And your parents."

Hermione glanced away, toward her parents, who were chatting with Mr. Weasely. The door opened, and Sakura entered, stopping cold, unnoticed by the confrontational wizards.

"Muggles, aren't they?" Lucius asked. He turned to the others, "Let me see. Red hair, vacant expressions…" He pulled a book from the cauldron Ginny held, "Tatty, secondhand book… you must be the Weaselys."

"Children…" Mr. Weasely said, coming up, "It's mad in here. Let's go outside."

"Well, well, well…" Lucius greeted quietly, "Weasely senior."

"Lucius." Mr. Weasely returned coolly.

"Busy time at the Ministry, Arthur." Lucius remarked, "All those extra raids? I do hope they're paying you overtime, but judging by the state of this…" He held up Ginny's book, "I'd say not." He lowered the book, "What's the use in being a disgrace to the name of wizard, if they don't even pay you well for it?"

"We have a _very_ different idea about what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy." Mr. Weasely said.

"Clearly." Lucius agreed, "Associating with Muggles…" He stepped forward, and replaced Ginny's book, "And I thought your family could sink no lower."

Sakura's eyes narrowed, noting that he put another book in Ginny's cauldron alongside the first.

Mr. Weasely and Mr. Malfoy faced each other. Mr. Weasely glanced away once to give a tiny, fleeting smile to the children, and Malfoy smiled, "I'll see you at work." He left, and the younger Malfoy followed, turning once toward Harry, "See you at school."

* * *

Sasuke and Kurama both mentally sighed in relief when they realized that this 'Gilderoy Lockhart' had just taken sizable chunks out of their fanbases, and each hoped that this would be mirrored when they got to Hogwarts (although it seemed unlikely, since that would probably require Gilderoy to _be there_).

* * *

"Books, books, books…" Naruto grumbled, looking through the selves, "Why are they so big on _books_?"

"Hi, Naruto." Kurama greeted, crouching down next to him, "Have you noticed that all the books on the list are written by the same author?"

Naruto scowled, "Authors, too…"

Kurama smiled slightly, "In fact, he's standing right over there…"

Naruto grumbled some more, "Yeah, yeah…"

Kurama sighed, "Naruto, these are alphabetically organized…"

Light dawned on Naruto's face, and he stood up, "Ah, I see! Thanks!"

Kurama stood up, drawing a book out of the shelves, "Anytime." He turned around, and found himself face to face with a smiling Gilderoy Lockhart.

The only outward sign of Kurama's slight surprise was a blink, and Lockhart started, "Hello. I'm going to be teaching at Hogwarts, so I thought I might meet some students beforehand." _I'm going to have to do this quickly…_

Kurama smiled indulgently, "A pleasure to meet you… Professor. I'm flattered." _Teaching at Hogwarts? I can only hope he'll have as successful a fanbase there as he has here…_

Gilderoy's smile widened slightly, _polite, constantly and consistently, _"So, what's your name?"

Kurama's smile faltered, "I apologize. My name is Shuichi Minamino. I transferred here from Japan last year."

Gilderoy's interest was piqued, "Japan? I've been there myself, once."

Kurama glanced at the bookshelves, "You mean when you settled the age-old animosity between ninja and samurai?"

Naruto turned slightly, "… Eh…?"

"I see you do your homework." Gilderoy affirmed, pleased, "So, what are your interests?"

Kurama looked down, "… Studying, mostly, although some my friends and I have something of an interest in… banishing demons."

Gilderoy was very surprised by that, _so… slightly eccentric,_ "Really? As I'm sure you know, I do that quite often!"

Kurama nodded, and Gilderoy continued, "True beasts. Terrorizing the innocent… you and your friends pursue a noble career. I'll see you again in Hogwarts, Shuichi!"

Kurama lowered his head deferentially, muting a slight pang of irritation; _I wish you luck in your pursuit of fangirls,_ "As I will you, Professor."

Gilderoy immediately made his way to his next rival, aware of the media watching him rabidly, but deciding to ignore them for now, _but I can only keep the book signing waiting so long…_

The boy turned around before Gilderoy reached him, and sent a glare in his direction. Gilderoy continued, undeterred, "Hello…"

The boy turned back around, ignoring him.

Gilderoy tried again, "Excuse me…"

"What do you want?"

"I'm trying to get to know some students…"

"Very select students, I'm sure."

Gilderoy was silent for a moment; _sharp one… _"Only in that they caught my attention."

"I wonder why."

Gilderoy was starting to become slightly vexed, particularly at the boy's sarcastic tone, "Could you at least tell me your name?"

"One should give their own name before asking someone else's."

Gilderoy's eye twitched, _this is turning out to be more trouble than it's worth… I could just find out later… _"I had assumed you would already know who I am. Though, since you are implying you don't, I see no reason not to tell you. I am–"

"Sasuke Uchiha, now stop wasting my time."

Gilderoy whirled around, "Good day to you, too." _Yes, the complete reverse of Shuichi. There are all kinds of fangirls, and with such extremes as these, they're guaranteed to bring in a huge number… truly, tough competition._

… _Wait a second…_

Gilderoy did a double take on the two students, looking particularly at the back of their robes. Sure enough, Kurama had a vibrant picture of a detailed red rose with a long, thorny green stem peeking out behind his long red hair, and Sasuke had an equally vibrant picture of… a red circle with a small piece cut out at the bottom, which a small white oval with pointed ends and a little square sticking on the bottom filled, without touching the red part.

_Hmm…_

Still, he had book-signing to do. More contemplation on fanbases would have to wait.

* * *

"Kankuro…"

"What?"

"You know what."

"…"

Temari abruptly turned around and flicked a vial off the shelves, holding it lightly, "You could at least use something that isn't purple!"

Kankuro grinned, fingering his small glass tube.

Gaara watched calmly, "Supposedly, we're attending a school."

"A _magic_ school." Temari pointed out.

"Poison is illegal."

"In small enough dosages, it won't be lethal."

"In small dosages, it is extremely lethal."

Temari spun the vial a little, "But Kankuro's an expert at this kind of thing. I'm sure he won't make that kind of mistake."

She glanced at Kankuro, who looked at Gaara wryly, "Are you even opposing the idea?"

Gaara turned back to the shelves to conceal his small smile, "No. Just be careful."

* * *

Shikamaru gazed at the sky, Chouji ate ice cream, and Ino drew something on a piece of paper.

Shikamaru yawned, _how do you extract something embedded in someone down to his or her DNA?_

Chouji looked down, "Oy, Shikamaru, relax!"

Shikamaru sighed, "Does it seem odd to you that we've completely lost faith in the Hokage and our village?"

Ino perked up, "What do you mean by that?"

Shikamaru picked up a pebble, "You've all noticed, too… we're trusting Tsunade and the rest to do their best to fix our condition, but none of us think they'll actually be able to accomplish that goal."

Chouji silently looked at his ice cream cone, and shoved it in his mouth when he couldn't think of a reply. Ino, on the other hand, set down her paper and quill and stared disconsolately at the bustling Alley, "It makes sense, you know… it's not like something that's been your reality for nearly two millennia… well, it's kind of hard to accept that it might even be _possible_ that it can just _disappear_."

Shikamaru moved the pebble between his two hands, "So… we're just… trying to enjoy ourselves… like always… doesn't that disturb you?"

"Well…" Chouji licked his fingers while talking, "It would disturb me more if that was all we were doing. But we're trying as hard as anyone to find a solution."

Ino nodded emphatically, "We _need_ to enjoy ourselves, otherwise we'll return Home due to depression, and who knows _when _we'll come out again! And besides, we _are_ trying to find out how to take care of something that doesn't even exist! Running into a dead end isn't going to be uncommon."

Chouji looked somewhat thoughtful, "Not only that, but if we were to go Home, then _that_ would pretty much ruin all attempts at _trying _to find a solution…"

Ino finished for him, "And don't you think _that_ would be the ultimate way of showing what we think of how much of a chance Tsunade-sama has?"

Shikamaru smiled slightly, sadly, "Yeah…"

Ino grinned, "You just think too much, _and_ you have too much free time. Let's get back to shopping!"

Shikamaru and Chouji groaned.

* * *

"I wonder where Lee went?" Tenten said, looking around.

Neji glanced at her, "Do you want to know?"

Tenten grimaced, "Not really."

Neji, feeling mildly bored, activated Byakugan and gave Diagon Alley a quick visual sweep. He sucked in a sharp breath, and deactivated the kekkai genkai, but it was too late…

"What's wrong?" Tenten asked.

Neji's mouth opened and closed, his face a mixture of horror and disgust. Tenten cocked her head in confusion, just before her question was answered in the form of two teenagers (somewhat loose term there) in green spandex. They had jumped down from a tall building, and landed back-to-back on the cobblestone.

One: Rock Lee.

Two: Urameshi Yusuke.

And they were both posing, in the middle of the Alley.

Lee and Yusuke's teeth flashed, and Lee swiveled his head, "Not bad… but can you do this?"

Lee lifted his right foot, and held his arms like wings.

Yusuke grinned, "Are you kidding?" And imitated Lee perfectly.

Neji turned slowly, and pretended that he had never seen those two in his life. Tenten had trouble tearing her eyes off the spectacle, but eventually managed to follow Neji.

* * *

Shino silently inspected the shelves, calculating what was worth getting. Beside him, Hiei calculated whether or not it would be worth it to burn something.

Kiba and Kuwabara tried to ignore the two, focusing instead on the shelves on the opposite side of the room.

Not long ago, Hiei had been arguing with Kuwabara. Team 8 was in the vicinity, and Kiba had sided with Kuwabara. Unfortunately, Shino had agreed with Hiei, and while he normally wouldn't have said anything, one against two was uneven. But as soon as Shino came in, Kiba had stopped arguing (after all, who in their right mind argues with Shino?). It had then fallen into an awkward silence when Shino fell silent immediately after Kiba fell out (two against one was uneven), and Kuwabara directed something at him. Kiba had then backed away somewhat uncomfortably to some shelves on one side of the room, and Shino calmly strode to the other. Kuwabara soon followed Kiba, and Hiei followed Shino.

Hinata sat between the two groups of two, feeling somewhat confused as to what she should do. It seemed awfully hot in here… _I wonder where Naruto is…?_

* * *

Every new Naruto manga chapter makes me want to cry… T.T

Is it just me, or was Itachi an early teenager when he killed the clan? Thirteen, I think… but I don't think he could have been older than sixteen (and while sixteen isn't early teenage, I don't think he could have been that old, anyway)…


	8. Back to School

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"10:58. Come on, come on!" Mr. Weasely said.

"The train will be leaving any moment!" Mrs. Weasely fretted.

"Fred, George, Percy, you first!" Mr. Weasely ordered. The addressed twins and their elder brother immediately hurried through the column leading to Platform 9¾.

"Okay…" Ginny said quietly at Mrs. Weasely's quiet encouragement. She pushed her cart forward, and ran through the portal. The two parents walked quickly forward, the father following the mother with a polite, "After you, dear."

"Come on Ginny, we'll get you a seat. Hurry." Mrs. Weasely beckoned when she and her husband reached the other side.

* * *

"Let's go." Harry said, pushing his cart forward. He started running; hoping fervently that the train hadn't already left…

His hopes and breath were dashed in one fell swoop when he crashed into a depressingly solid wall.

Hedwig flapped her wings, chirping in alarm. Sakura sucked in a sharp breath, and Naruto commented, "That's got to smart…"

Harry and Ron groaned as they got up, and a man in uniform approached them, "Oy, what do you two think you're doing?"

"Sorry…" Harry apologized, "L-lost control of the… trolley."

The man shook his head, and walked off.

"Why can't we get through?" Harry asked desperately as Sasuke started feeling the stone pillar, Sakura wondered how to explain this to the other ninja, and Naruto daydreamed about ramen.

"I don't know," Ron replied. Sasuke stepped back as the two Griffindors laid hands on the wall, "The gateway has sealed itself for some reason."

A clock rang, and Harry turned to Ron, "The train leaves at _exactly_ 11:00. We've missed it!"

Ron looked panicky, "Harry, if we can't get through, maybe Mum and Dad can't get back."

"Maybe we should just go and wait by the car." Harry suggested.

"The car…" Ron said, a thought occurring to him.

* * *

…

* * *

At a train station in London, a blue car rose shakily into the air.

"Man, this is awesome!" Naruto yelled, "I'm glad we missed the train!"

"I don't see why we couldn't just ride some summons…" Sakura grumbled.

"Ron, I should tell you…" Harry said, "Most Muggles aren't accustomed to seeing a flying car!"

"Uh… right." Ron nodded nervously, and hit a large silver button.

The flying car disappeared.

Sakura latched onto Sasuke's arm as the car disappeared under her, and said Slytherin grimaced, hoping she wasn't cutting off any circulation.

_I'm glad we missed the train! _Sakura thought happily.

* * *

…

* * *

"… Hey, Naruto?" Harry said as the car cruised along.

"Huh?"

"How come Mr. Weasely didn't ask you about Muggles?"

"… Well, he asked all three of us about Muggles, but Sasuke played word games (stupid jerk), Sakura was always… uh, _severely_ taken aback by the questions ('cuz she's really smart, after all), and I… didn't know the answer that often…"

* * *

…

* * *

Soaring above some beautiful country scenery, the invisibility on the sky-blue vehicle wore off.

Ron hit the silver button several times, trying to reactivate their cover. He gave up soon enough, focusing ahead in fright, "The Invisibility Booster must be faulty!"

"Come on, then." Harry said urgently, "Let's go lower. We need to find the train."

"Okay." Ron listened, and the car started losing altitude.

"Ah… this is the life…" Naruto sighed from the backseat, "Comfy chair… nice breeze… nice view, too…"

"It's nothing we haven't seen over a thousand times." Sasuke snapped, his arm numb by this time.

Naruto grinned, and peeked an eye open, "Well, it's not that often I get to sit next to Sakura…"

Sakura, who had gotten as much time as she could clinging to Sasuke's arm (slowly cutting off circulation, but hey, who cares about cutting off circulation in Sasuke's arm, anyway?), let go of her teammate (causing him to hiss in pain), and aimed a right hook at Naruto's jaw.

… They _really_ shouldn't have been put on a team together…

A train track came into sight, and the car leveled with it.

"Now all we need to do is catch up with the train." Harry stated.

"We can't be far behind." Ron reasoned. There was a tooting sound in the distance. Naruto's ears pricked, and he snorted with suppressed laughter as he braced himself in his seat.

"Do you hear that?" Harry asked.

"We must be getting close." Ron said in amazement. In the backseat, Sasuke and Sakura glanced at each other, and braced themselves.

It sounded again, and Harry's smile disappeared, "Hold on…"

He looked at Ron. Ron looked back, and they both looked behind.

Hedwig followed their gaze, and her eyes bugged out.

The train had gotten uncomfortably close.

The two in the front seat screamed in unison, joined by a burst of mad laughter from Naruto.

Ron let go of the steering wheel, and the car flew off the track, rolling under the bridge that the train was currently on, and coming back up on the other side, spinning.

Harry's door suddenly burst open, and Harry barely caught the handle as he dropped into the open air. Naruto's laughing abruptly cut off, and Ron looked through the open passenger seat door, "Harry!"

Harry flailed as he tried desperately to get back up.

"Hold on!" Ron yelled. He reached out, "Take my hand!"

Harry attempted to, but his hand slipped out, and Ron shouted, "Hold on!"

"I'm trying!" Harry protested, "Your hand's all sweaty!"

Ron continued reaching out, and his jaw dropped when a slug plopped between his and Harry's seats, twining itself with the tail of a snake, which had wrapped itself once around the foot of a frog. The small chain dropped out, the frog grabbed Harry's arm, and the three critters strained back, pulling with all their might.

"Hurry!" Sakura yelled at the dumbstruck Ron, "They can't pull that much weight on their own!"

Ron shook off his shellshock, and grabbed Harry's hand, this time managing to pull him back in. Harry shut the door behind him, and said breathlessly, "I think we found the train."

"Yeah." Ron gulped.

"Remember!" The frog yelled, hopping onto Naruto's head, "I'm only doing this under protest!"

The snake hissed, wrapping itself loosely around Sasuke's neck, and Sakura sweat-dropped as she stroked the slug.

Unfortunately, during this little incident, they seemed to have fallen somewhat behind the train… as well as veered away from the track.

Ron could have screamed in frustration.

Even more unfortunate was that Naruto decided at that moment to come up with an anti-brilliant idea. He proposed the idea to a certain demon hanging around in his head.

_I can't just insert chakra into _anything_. _Kyuubi snapped, _maybe if it was where the fuel would normally go…_

Naruto nodded cheerfully, unbuckled his seatbelt, and rolled down his window.

"Hey, Naruto!" Ron called, shivering at the second sudden burst of air, "What are you doing!?"

Naruto leaned out the window, shouting over the rushing wind, "I'm going to make us go faster!"

"Whoa, hey!" Gamakichi yelled.

Sakura paled, put her slug aside, and grabbed Naruto's ankle as soon as he got halfway out the window, "Naruto! Don't worry about it!"

Naruto grinned as he reached for the lid to the fuel tank on the side of the car, _just a little more… _"That's okay, Sakura! I've got it!"

He suddenly slid all the way out, and Sakura screamed as she was dragged halfway out. Sasuke's eyes widened, and he instinctively grabbed Sakura's ankle, "If you die, I _swear_ I'm going to _kill you both_!"

The snake hissed, moving to wrap itself around Sasuke's hand and Sakura's shin.

Harry squinted ahead, _that makes no sense at all…_

Ron, on the other hand, hardly heard Sasuke, and didn't even mentally challenge his logic (or, as far as he was concerned, lack thereof), due to being a bit preoccupied operating something he had almost no idea how to operate (at the same time as worrying about what Naruto was about to do, and hoping it didn't involve blowing up the car).

Naruto tried to ignore the fact that the only thing keeping him from a few thousand feet of unobstructed drop was Sakura's grip on his ankle, and his own grip on the now lidless fuel container. He reached one hand in as far as it would go, _all right, Kyuubi, do your thing!_

He could almost _feel_ Kyuubi's grin as red chakra started emitting from his hand…

… Before he was dragged back into the car by his teammates.

"You almost got us killed!" Sakura scolded.

Sasuke looked apprehensively at the window, "… We've got a bigger threat now."

Naruto hurriedly rolled up his window before turning to Sasuke, "What's that?"

"WHAT'S THAT?!" Ron yelled, staring wide-eyed at the red chakra crawling up the windshield.

"I'll just, uh…" Gamakichi tapped his foot a little, and disappeared in a poof of smoke. The snake and slug glanced at their respective summoners, and did the same.

The car suddenly lurched forward, and Naruto, looking out the window, estimated that they were going… maybe about six hundred miles an hour…

The railroad track came back into sight, and Ron, looking woozily out the window, watched. His eyes widened when the car suddenly tilted downward, rapidly decelerating. It hovered just above the track, now going at about the pace it had started.

It didn't stay in this secure state for long, but rather jerked back upward at the sound of the train, continued rising until the locomotive came into sight, and dive-bombed toward its target, twirling and wrenching the whole way.

The car roughly bounced off the top of the train, landed again, skidded slightly, came to a stop, and sat there.

Sitting not so far away, but out of sight and sense of any inhabitants of either car or train, two figures sat.

"Am I seeing things… or did that car have a tail a moment ago?" One asked.

"Not just any tail." The other replied quietly.

* * *

Kuwabara looked up when he heard a loud 'thump' above his head, "… What was that?"

Lee stood up, and put his hand on the now dented ceiling, "… I don't know."

* * *

Shikamaru looked up in annoyance when a sliding sound grinding above his head interrupted his experimental attempt to reach the area between sleeping and waking: that tiny instant where they brushed the surface of dark, blissful unconsciousness. Not a point that they lost control of feeling, but not where they reached that mindscape, either…

He'd been working on it for seven centuries, really, and felt like he was getting close. Most of the others occasionally worked on it as well, but the huge amount of concentration with the extremely abrupt turn to relaxation was fatiguing when it was done several times in a row, so only Shikamaru had ended up working on it regularly.

Chouji, munching on sweets from the cart, looked up, "I wonder what that was…?"

* * *

Naruto leaned back, laying a hand on his roiling stomach, _Kyuubi… that was total overkill…_

_I'm not done yet._

Naruto sat bolt upright, but regretted it when his insides lurched dangerously.

Ino yawned, looking at the ceiling in a somewhat bored fashion, when something occurred to her, "Hey, Shikamaru, Chouji…"

"Hmm…?" Chouji replied through his incessant munching.

"Did Sasuke, Sakura, or Naruto ever get on the train?"

* * *

…

* * *

Naruto looked out his cracked window, nervous. The car hadn't moved from its spot on the train for hours (it was dark out now), and he wondered if it had taken too much damage from the red chakra. Ron had started it up a couple of times, but try as he might, he couldn't get it to move.

The sun was setting… they would probably be reaching Hogwarts soon. Ron had managed to fall asleep, but Harry couldn't calm his nerves, and Team 7 were not only all too aware that their energy was near optimal, but in addition, none of them really wanted to be the one to explain their situation to the others.

Naruto suddenly felt Kyuubi stirring, and he spoke up, "Oy, Kyuubi's moving!"

Ron stirred sleepily, "Sh'wha?"

He blinked in drowsy alarm when he heard several 'click's, indicating buckled seatbelts. Not quite realizing what he was doing, he copied his four carmates, and buckled up. Just in time for the red chakra to slowly reappear, and the car to start moving, accelerating at an unbelievable rate. Ron grabbed the steering wheel and braced his feet on the floor as the car swerved.

After the vehicle had stopped rotating, Naruto peeked one eye open, and saw Hogwarts approaching fast. Too fast.

_Yo, Kyuubi! SLOW DOWN!!_

_Don't tell me what to do._

_Don't tell _me_ you can't see that LARGE STONE CASTLE!!_

_I know what I'm doing! So sit down and shut up!_

The car flew blindingly, making incredibly sharp turns to avoid the towers and such that raced by.

Naruto fervently hoped that Kyuubi did, in reality, know what it was doing… until the red chakra unexpectedly disappeared, and Naruto's face smashed into the back of Harry's seat just before the car tilted forward and started falling.

_Kyuubi…_

_So I miscalculated a little._

_KYUUBI!!_

Ron looked back at Naruto, shouting over the rushing wind with a note of panic in his voice, "This is all part of your plan, right?"

Sakura and Sasuke looked at Naruto, who grinned, brought up his hands, and shook his head sheepishly, "Kyuubi miscalculated."

Ron had an odd look on his face as he turned back to the breaking windshield, "All right…"

Then the car smashed into a tree, roughly falling a few feet through the branches.

There was silence for one second.

"You know…" Ron said shakily, "For a moment there, I thought we were actually going to–"

A groaning sound cut him off, and a branch shattering what was left of the windshield knocked the car loose, causing it to drop the remaining distance to the ground.

"Come on, go!" Harry yelled, seeing the huge tree sending another limb their way, "Fast!"

Before he had finished, Ron was trying to start up the car. It started on the second try, after the tree had whacked the roof, and barely avoided the enormous plant when it performed a full out… wood… slam… thing.

The car stopped a little ways away, and the tree straightened, appearing for all the world like a natural (ugly) growth on the grass.

Harry and Ron panted as they looked back, and suddenly found themselves flying out of the car. Before their eyes, it spit out their luggage, too… and their pets, which they both managed to catch.

"Scabbers, you're okay." Ron said in relief, looking at his rat.

The now empty automobile abruptly started, driving away. Ron made a startled exclamation, and he and Harry chased it, until it got too far ahead of them, and they could only watch as it went into the Forbidden Forest.

"Dad's gonna kill me." Ron said quietly, looking disconsolately at his now broken wand.

"… When did that happen?" Harry asked.

Ron was about to answer, when he noticed something, "Oy… where did Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura go?"

Trying to put the disappearance of Team 7 out of their minds, Harry and Ron took their luggage into the castle, dropping it with the rest and making their way toward the Great Hall.

"So a house elf shows up in my bedroom…" Harry said as he and Ron hurried up the stairs, "… We can't get through the barrier to platform 9 ¾, we almost get killed by a _tree_… clearly, someone doesn't want me here this… year."

The two students found themselves face to face with Filch.

"Well look closely lads." Filch said calmly, "This night might well be the last you spend in this castle."

Harry and Ron glanced at each other.

"Oh, dear, we are in trouble." Filch finished, a grin spreading across his face.

* * *

"You were seen by no less than _seven_ Muggles." Professor Snape announced, "Do you have _any_ idea how serious this is? You have risked the _exposure _of our world." He gave that a moment to sink in, "Not the mention the damage you did to the Whomping Willow that has been on our grounds since _before you were_ _born_."

"Honestly, Professor Snape…" Ron protested, "I think it did more damage to us…"

"_Silence_." Snape snapped, "I assure you, if you were in Slytherin, and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home tonight. As it is–"

"They are not." A calm voice interrupted.

"Professor Dumbledore… Professor McGonagall." Harry identified, the former being the one whom had spoken.

"Headmaster." Snape said deferentially, "These two have flouted the Decree of the Restriction of Underage Wizardry. As such–"

But Dumbledore cut him short again, "I am well aware of our bylaws, Severus, having written quite a few myself. However, as head of Griffindor House, it is up the Professor McGonagall to determine the appropriate action."

"We'll go and get our stuff, then…" Ron said in defeat.

"What are you talking about, Mr. Weasely?" McGonagall asked.

"You're going to expel us, aren't you?" Ron asked, although it was hardly a question in his mind.

"Not today, Mr. Weasely." McGonagall answered. Harry and Ron looked at each other in ecstatic shock, and she continued. "But I must impress on both of you the seriousness of what you have done. I will be writing to your families tonight, and you will both receive detention."

* * *

"Phew…" Naruto sighed, "Now we just need to change, slip into the Great Hall, and hope no one notices we were late, dattebayo."

"Hello." A cold voice greeted. Naruto and Sakura yelped, and Sasuke snarled.

Itachi looked down on Team 7, "I have some questions to ask."

Sakura backed away, holding up her hands, "Maybe later… because, see, we should be at–"

She was interrupted by the appearance of Kisame behind her, "The feast? Sure, we only need one of you anyway."

Itachi watched them, "So, if two of you would like to go…"

Team 7 fell silent, their faces darkening.

"Good." Kisame said, "First things first: what's 'Home'?"

Naruto opened his mouth, but Sakura elbowed him, and he didn't say anything.

Kisame frowned, and leveled the Samehada at Sasuke. Naruto sucked in a sharp breath, but kept his mouth shut… until Itachi laid a kunai at the back of Sakura's neck.

Naruto scowled, "If you want to know, why are you asking us?"

"Because you would be the only ones who would know." Kisame reasoned simply.

"We don't!" Sakura objected, "We gave up trying to find out ages ago!"

"Literally…" Naruto grumbled.

Itachi shook his head, "Giving up so easily…"

Sasuke suddenly folded his arms and smiled, to the surprise of Kisame, and the curiosity of Naruto and Sakura, as a quick scan of his emotions revealed just about everything but cheer, although what stood out most was a touch of sadism.

"What we know?" Sasuke said quietly, "What _do_ we know? It _doesn't exist_. That about sums it up, except for one small detail…"

Naruto nodded, "That does almost sum it up…"

"And what would that little detail be?" Kisame asked.

Sakura spoke up, "It exists."

"That's it." Sasuke agreed.

Kisame growled, "We don't have time for word games."

"But that's the best way to explain it–" Naruto said, but he was cut off by Kisame redirecting his sword at him.

"A partial existence." Itachi stated, "Very well. What does it do?"

"Besides make us immortal?" Sakura asked sarcastically.

"Yes."

Team 7 fell silent again, and Itachi casually raised the kunai in preparation of decapitating Sakura, who paled and hopped away, although she knew that if Itachi wanted to kill her, he would have no trouble doing so.

Itachi lowered the kunai, "This is not a joke. I will kill one or two of you if that's what it takes."

Naruto laughed nervously, "Yeah, see… if you did that, it would be really bad…"

"How so?" Itachi asked calmly.

"That would depend on who." Sakura said reluctantly, "Our emotions… will spread to each other if we don't keep a conscious hold on them."

"Really?" Kisame was intrigued, and he used the hilt of the Samehada to hit the back of Sasuke's neck with pinpoint precision, "So, since–"

He stopped and sweat-dropped when he saw Naruto and Sakura immediately turn their full and complete attention on Itachi. Sakura's fists were clenched so hard her knuckles were white, obviously straining herself in an effort to not attack. Naruto was also obviously exercising his willpower, although his hands were no more than one inch from kage bunshin. Kisame could almost see their muscles straining to be kept under control.

* * *

"What the heck?" Kiba hissed, "I think someone's out for Sasuke's blood…"

Chouji watched the way his hand gripped his fork curiously, as much as curiosity could get in through the anger, "… I think Itachi was in the vicinity when he went out."

"You _think_?" Ino demanded, curled slightly over the table and resisting the enormous urge to attack and _kill_.

"I think Naruto and Sakura are around him now." Shino remarked, his voice unnaturally cold, "Judging by their emotions."

Tenten's eyes widened, "Hey, guys…"

Hinata noticed, as well, and she gripped the table, "It's not diluted…"

Tenten nodded jerkily, "In fact, I think it's even stronger than when it started."

Kiba found it suddenly difficult to breath, "But why…"

* * *

Itachi inclined his head, "Kisame, that was unnecessary. Sakura, was it? I suggest you heal your teammate."

Sakura held a hand to her head as she walked backwards toward Sasuke's unconscious form, _too much… _"Naruto. Close. Your. Eyes."

Naruto didn't try to nod, but instead followed Sakura's tense, disjointed order, and felt the boiling anger subside a little when he could no longer see Itachi.

Sakura felt similarly when she turned away from Itachi to revive Sasuke, kneeling down. She couldn't directly pull him out of an unconscious state… but with precision work, and 30.78 seconds, then if she could trigger the right nerves, she could probably restore him to a state of sleep…

She breathed a sigh of relief when Sasuke woke up, immediately retracting his emotions. It felt like ice water being dumped on her, for it to disappear so suddenly. Sasuke looked at Naruto and Sakura as he stood up, and they looked back, understanding completely.

Kisame repositioned his sword so that it separated the three of them.

"Interesting." Itachi said calmly, "Emotionally, is there anything else?"

Sakura scowled at the stone floor, "If we concentrate, we can know what the others are feeling."

"So…" Kisame thought for a moment, trying to remember whom all 'the others' were, "What are… there were two Hyuugas, right? What are they feeling?"

Naruto fell into an arrogant position, "A minute ago, they were feeling some pretty intense anger, dattebayo."

Kisame growled, and Itachi held up a hand to forestall him, "What else?"

Naruto pouted at the ceiling, "Kyuubi says your breath stinks."

Kisame tightened his grip on his sword, "Samehada says your jumpsuit stinks, and _I_ say I've got nothing to lose in killing you."

Naruto grimaced, "Point taken, in everything but the part about the jumpsuit."

"It's unwise to blatantly disagree with Akatsuki when your best attacks are Kage Bunshin and Rasengan." Kisame leveled Samehada at Naruto, "Get the point?"

"Fine, fine… I won't disagree." Naruto raised his hands in surrender, adding under his breath, "Blatantly." _…_ _for a little while, at least._

"You two know about Kyuubi." Itachi noticed.

Sasuke and Sakura flinched, only then remembering that they weren't supposed to know about the bijuu and jinchuuriki. Naruto had a moment of confusion before he remembered, as well.

Sakura concentrated on the floor, "… A little…"

Sasuke recovered quickly, "We know about Shukaku, too. It's not that easy to hide that kind of thing for eighteen hundred years in close proximity with fourteen other shinobi."

"I see." Itachi abruptly put away his kunai, "That's all, for now. We may talk again later."

* * *

…

* * *

Itachi looked up at the sky, and Kisame glanced at him, "Something on your mind?"

Itachi didn't turn his gaze away, "He tried to imply that they only knew _of_ Ichibi and Kyuubi."

Kisame silently beckoned his partner to continue. Itachi complied, "The tones. They were too familiar to simply have the meager knowledge that the bijuu are _there_."

Kisame scoffed, "So, what? You think they've carried on conversations with Ichibi and Kyuubi?"

"Possibly, but I wouldn't jump to that conclusion quite yet. However, perhaps when one of the jinchuuriki are knocked out, the bijuu's emotions are released in addition to the jinchuuriki's."

"That's… that's crazy."

Itachi raised an eyebrow, _reality is crazy, Kisame. Get used to it._

* * *

Naruto looked up at the dark ceiling, feeling trepidation creeping slowly through his system, _earlier…_

When someone was knocked out, their emotion should have spread and thinned through each individual. But when Kisame had knocked out Sasuke, that didn't happen. Each of them felt a full, untainted array of emotion. He'd even felt some of Sasuke's emotions canceling out his own. Naruto's mind rejected the idea viciously, but that couldn't keep away the knowledge that it had _happened_.

With this disturbing thought in mind, Naruto deftly made the transition from the waking realm to that of sleep.

* * *

"There!" Dumbledore exclaimed, throwing down his quill, "It's been rescheduled."

"Not inside the school, I assume." McGonagall inquired.

"No, no, I'm not mad yet…" Dumbledore laughed, "It will be in the Quidditch field."

"One must wonder…" Snape said thoughtfully, "What the outcome will be?"

"One must wonder," McGonagall answered sarcastically, "Why so many are so interested in watching that we'd schedule it again after we'd _cancelled _it, and sighed of relief for that?"

* * *

"What is it, sir?" Botan asked, floating into the office in a somewhat leisurely fashion.

"I've come up with a great new slogan!" Koenma announced cheerfully, holding up a large sign with 'DEATH R US' printed in huge, bold letters.

Botan smiled obliviously, due to an inability to read (or speak, for that matter) English (although she planned on learning it), "Catchy, sir."

* * *

Finally...


	9. Scattered Memories

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"_So, basically, Akatsuki is working on figuring out details of our condition?" Ino asked. Naruto and Sakura nodded._

_Shikamaru looked thoughtful, "It's possible that they're also trying to fix it… but we won't rely on that." It went unsaid that they wouldn't tell Akatsuki anything they weren't forced to._

_The others nodded, and Kyuubi appeared, "By the way, Itachi caught on about us the moment Sasuke mentioned us."_

_Shukaku appeared beside him, adding, "'us' being myself and Kyuubi."_

_Shikamaru rubbed his head, "'caught on'? Don't tell me…"_

_Kyuubi's tails waved, "Obviously, he won't know any details, but when Sasuke said our names, his head inclined. He knows that you know more about us than you let on. Really, Sasuke… Itachi knows you too well. Possibly even as well as the rest of us do…" Kyuubi paused for a moment, "Don't mistake that for me putting myself on the same level as the rest of you."_

_Shikamaru rubbed his head, "You have a point… but how would you suggest fixing it? Keeping Sasuke away from Itachi? Sorry, but I don't see that happening."_

_Kyuubi snarled._

* * *

…

* * *

"Ah, Naruto, Sasuke, Neji." Dumbledore greeted, "I understood you were upset when I told you I'd cancelled your match."

"Dattebayo!" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke shrugged.

"Not really…" Neji muttered.

"So…" Dumbledore paced slowly, "I've… rescheduled it."

Naruto's jaw dropped, and he launched himself at Dumbledore, "You're the greatest dattebayo!"

Sasuke's mouth twitched in an almost-smile, and Neji's jaw dropped for a reason entirely different from Naruto's, "You're mad…"

Dumbledore pried off Naruto, "Tomorrow, at noon, in the Quidditch stadium. A large amount of students were very interested in watching the match, and were similarly disappointed when it was cancelled. I'll announce it formally at dinner."

Naruto hopped in front of Sasuke, "Better be ready, jerk. I am _so_ going to cream you dattebayo!"

Sasuke folded his arms, looking down at his teammate, "It's amazing that you can still dream when you can't sleep."

Dumbledore cocked his head.

Neji looked down, a plan formulating in his head.

"Neji, you are dismissed."

Neji cocked his head, bowed slightly, and walked away. The door opened just before he reached it, and Sakura came in.

As the door closed again, Dumbledore faced Team 7, "As I understand it, you three were with Harry and Ron on the way here."

"… Yes, sir." Sakura answered slowly.

"Due to your unique situation, it has come into question who exactly has jurisdiction over management of this." Dumbledore said, "Therefore, it was agreed that action would be jointly decided between myself and the House heads."

Naruto frowned, and leaned toward Sakura, "What does that translate to?"

"We're going to be punished for riding in a flying car to Hogwarts." Sakura replied, "See? We _should_ have rode on summons!"

Dumbledore patiently waited for them to finish before continuing, "We will do nothing."

Team 7 looked at him as if expecting him to follow up with "just kidding!"

Dumbledore calmly explained, "We understand you had an encounter with the two we temporarily brought in as substitute teachers last year. Learning the details, we've deemed it worth assuming that you've learned your lesson… correct?"

"Hai." The three answered unanimously.

* * *

Gilderoy turned to files on his desk. He had just had a short meeting with the Weasely twins, and had made an agreement with them. He would minimize their homework quantity, and in return they would send out daily polls for the most popular student, returning the results to him.

At the moment, his knowledge in that field didn't extend beyond his two major opponents: Shuichi Minamino and Sasuke Uchiha.

Coincidentally, the twins had had one more request, one that Gilderoy was actually surprised he hadn't thought of himself: to put the results on a large bulletin in the Great Hall.

Their only obstacle was that they needed permission from a professor. Of course, now they had that, and the bulletin was going to be up by dinnertime the next day.

* * *

…

* * *

Dumbledore cleared his throat as he stood up. The Great Hall quieted.

"As many of you know, we tested an exam theory last year." Dumbledore announced.

"It was kind of painfully obvious you had no idea what you were doing…" Kiba grumbled.

"_Way_ too many safety precautions." Ino agreed softly.

At another table, Lee grinned, "Truly, a youthful endeavor."

"It was finished with a tournament…" Dumbledore continued, "And I'm afraid we never really started the final match."

Naruto no longer held himself back. He grinned broadly as Neji groaned quietly.

Shikamaru frowned, _I don't like where this is going…_

"So…" Dumbledore's smile widened, "Tomorrow, the match will be held in the Quidditch stadium at noon. You may continue dinner now."

Kurama and Hiei both smiled slightly, looking forward to watching Naruto, Sasuke, and Neji fight without any restraints.

* * *

That night…

* * *

_Fifteen ageless students stood silently._

"_Well, now I know why it adds 'in the Quidditch stadium' in parentheses next to 'Lunch'." Sakura commented, "In the schedule."_

"_Are you all right with this?" Kankuro asked the three shinobi._

_Naruto nodded enthusiastically, "Dattebayo!"_

_Sasuke grinned darkly, "Are you kidding?"_

_Neji was expressionless, "Professor Dumbledore informed us about it beforehand. Our schedules have been completely cleared for tomorrow, except for the match."_

_Temari smirked sarcastically, "Who wants to bet your schedules will be clear of anything but 'Hospital Wing' for a few days afterward?"_

_Naruto and Sasuke just grinned, and Neji glanced at them, "It's possible."_

"_All clear?" Shikamaru asked, "Time to wait, then."_

* * *

…

* * *

"Ready, Naruto?" Lee asked eagerly. Naruto nodded with equal enthusiasm, grinning madly, "You know that trick Harry pulled last year in Quidditch? Where he stood on the broom?"

"Of course!" Lee replied, "Truly, a youthful maneuver!"

Naruto's grin widened, "Well, the old Headmaster let us use brooms."

Lee snapped his fingers, "And now that we don't have to conceal our presence…"

Naruto nodded, "We can just use chakra suction to give us more room to fight!"

The two Griffindors did a high-five, and exited the common room.

Hermione, sitting in a corner of the room writing, looked up as Harry and Ron entered.

"Chakra suction?" She wondered quietly.

Neji, sitting next to her, glanced at the nearly full parchment, "Focusing energy, or chakra, in a limb to adhere to a surface."

Hermione was confused, and Neji recalled that she didn't know about… anything really, yet. The only wizards/witches who did consisted of Draco, Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle, and (as Team 7 had informed them) the Weasely family (although they had all learned under some… unfortunate circumstances, particularly the first four.).

Oh, yeah, and the professors…

"Do you know about shinobi?" Neji asked. He didn't feel like leaving Hermione (or Harry, for that matter) in the dark and have that omission come back and bite him later.

"Yes… Naruto and Sasuke are shinobi, right?" Hermione asked curiously. Harry situated himself in front of the fireplace, and Ron grimaced, "Sakura's one, too."

Neji nodded, "Female shinobi are otherwise known as kunoichi, but that's just trivia. Several students here are shinobi, myself included. We use chakra for most of our abilities."

Hermione put down her quill, fascinated. Harry yawned at the fire, mildly interested, and Ron dropped onto a couch, having gone through this with Team 7.

"The thing with chakra and wands…" Neji continued, "Is that chakra uses energy, and the amount of energy used is directly proportional to how powerful the technique is, while wands can do anything from stirring tea to instant kill without repercussion… unless you mess it up, of course. On the other hand, if you lose your wand, you won't be able to cast magic. Chakra techniques, or jutsu, don't have this drawback. However, in order to get the most out of a jutsu, you must be more precise than with wands.

"Although, chakra is only used in–"

"Two thirds of shinobi abilities." Ron interrupted; quoting from what Team 7 had managed to ingrain in his mind, mostly through destruction of his house and explaining how it worked, "Ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu. Taijutsu is purely training of the body, and while it obviously uses energy, it doesn't use chakra. My personal favorite is genjutsu, though, since it doesn't blow things up."

Neji's eye twitched, "Only Lee and Gai blow things up with taijutsu."

"Lee's a ninja…?" Hermione wondered quietly.

"Oh, really?" Ron asked sarcastically, feeling somewhat ornery (and not bothering to ask who 'Guy' was), "Then explain Sakura's punch."

"You haven't seen a punch until you've seen the Hokage in action." Neji told him coolly, "Besides, that technique uses chakra, so it's more ninjutsu than taijutsu."

"Alright, then Naruto's clone technique." Ron challenged.

"The technique itself is ninjutsu." Neji explained, "Then the clones usually use taijutsu, although they'll sometimes use ninju–… Naruto's blown things up with kage bunshin?"

"You don't want to know." Ron mumbled, "Then what about that thing Sasuke did… I think he called it 'Peregrine Falcon Drop'."

Neji looked over his shoulder, "Please explain how Sasuke blew something up with _Hayabusa Otoshi_… or… Falcon Drop."

"Not really 'blew up'…" Ron admitted, "But he and Naruto went through about three and a half floors of our house."

"Not to interrupt or anything…" Harry said. He really didn't want to interrupt, as it was just getting interesting, but noticing the time… "… But shouldn't we be at the Quidditch Stadium?"

Neji frowned, "Well, we don't have to _be there_ for another five and three quarter minutes, but…"

The four looked at each other.

"I guess we'll have to talk later." Neji stated, opening the window.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked.

Neji put one foot on the windowsill, turning around, leaning out the window, and holding onto the top with both hands. "Chakra suction."

Hermione gasped as Neji used his hands to flip out above the window. Her eyes widened when she heard a slight tap of feet hitting stone, and then silence.

"Don't worry about it. He'll just be there before us because he doesn't have a few hundred hallways to go through." Ron said, "Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura do it all the time. Now come on, we're going to be late!"

* * *

McGonagall greeted the Golden Trio as soon as they reached the stadium. The Transfiguration professor silently took them to a specific tower, where several other students sat.

Specifically, here sat all the other students that had reached the preliminaries in the tournament last year… except for the newly arrived Golden Trio, a certain two Griffindors, and a Slytherin.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione wordlessly sat down, and an air of expectation fell over the crowd as Dumbledore stood up, holding his wand to his throat.

"We will now conclude the tournament we held last year." Dumbledore stated, "A match between Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, and Neji Hyuuga!"

The names were drowned out in a tide of squealing as soon as the three contestants (or rather, Sasuke) came into view. The three of them were no longer wearing their cumbersome wizard robes, but rather their usual attire.

Over in another stand, Gilderoy schemed.

Down on the ground, Naruto looked at the broom in his hand, and dropped it on the ground. He might need it later, but not yet. Sasuke, on the opposite side, did the same.

Neji carefully lowered his broom to the ground. The first thing he had to do was make sure Naruto and Sasuke forgot he was here…

Once the noise had died down, Dumbledore continued, "Let the match… begin!"

Naruto immediately charged at Sasuke, drawing a kunai in the process. Sasuke mirrored this action, but also made several hand seals.

Naruto drew a sharp breath, and used kage bunshin. He and the clones jumped out of the way just as Sasuke's Katon blew toward them, Sharingan active.

The Narutos fell smoothly into a circle around Sasuke, each launching a kunai at him. Sasuke easily dodged, even catching one by the handle, initiating some fancy footwork, and hitting the attacker with it as a few clones charged.

Neji carefully stood still in the shadows, watching as Naruto and Sasuke went at each other, mostly using taijutsu… at the moment. Now using ranged attacks, now at arms' length, now up close and personal, transitions between these took only the blink of an eye.

They (as well as just about everyone else) had obviously forgotten his presence.

* * *

In the crowd, Haku, Zabuza, and Jiraiya watched.

"They don't look like they've gotten much stronger." Zabuza remarked, "Especially after having so long to train."

Jiraiya nodded, "Well, neither of them have used their signature moves yet, but you have a point. It looks like they just messed around for eighteen hundred years."

Haku cocked his head, looking closely; _they appear to have become much stronger…_

* * *

One Naruto grabbed Sasuke's waist, spinning both around as another one landed a kick directly on Sasuke's face, aimed in the opposite direction. Sasuke, having seen it coming, allowed the sandaled foot to land, twisting his own feet to use the momentum to jolt and loosen the first clone, grab the foot of the other, and slam them both into each other.

The final clone disappeared in a puff of smoke. Sasuke automatically spun around, blocking the real Naruto's kunai with one of his own. They were both grinning, taking full advantage of the rush of adrenaline.

Naruto's face darkened, the grin becoming sinister, "Yo, Sasuke."

Sasuke's head inclined slightly, inviting Naruto to waste whatever breath he would.

This made Naruto's smirk open a little more, teeth shining in the sunlight, "You know _that_ thing we practiced last century?"

Sasuke's mouth opened slightly, intrigued, "Of course."

"Bet I can perform it better than you can."

"This is a fight."

"Dattebayo."

"You're on."

* * *

The crowd watched raptly as Naruto and Sasuke twisted together in a lethal dance. Watching Naruto summon clones, and Sasuke breath fire, they eagerly waited to see what the rivals would do next.

No one expected them to do what they did.

Two kunai clashed together, and remained there in a moment of false calm, before the fighters suddenly broke into an Irish jig, feet blurring with sheer speed as they watched each other in a strange mixture of glare and grin.

It's pure, awe-inspiring power/horror left all speechless.

All except for the forgotten combatant, who whispered into the warm air, "You look like _idiots_."

As suddenly as they had started, they stopped, simultaneously leaping back at each other, launched kunai and shuriken bouncing off each other, or, in some cases, flying on their course. The few that hit only left shallow scratches.

Neji, seeing that they had gotten too close to where he was, had to execute some defensive maneuvers to keep from getting hit by sharp metal objects coming his way.

"Yet another display of just how long we've been stuck together…" Shikamaru muttered.

"… How?" Sakura asked.

Shikamaru sighed, "Do you think, eighteen hundred years ago, they would be able to send those subtle messages through body language and agree exactly when to start _and_ stop dancing?"

Sakura thought about it for a moment, "… It also appears in us knowing that that's why they did so at the same time…"

Shikamaru's eyes closed, "And this is without even bringing up the fact that we recognize this subconsciously…"

On another bench, Kurama nodded in appreciation of Naruto and Sasuke's skill, "I can see how this would trash a classroom."

Ron frowned, "They haven't used _those_ techniques yet."

Yusuke glanced at him, "'Those' techniques?"

Ron nodded, "_Those_ techniques… the two they used to literally blow the roof off my house…"

"Is that one of them?" Kuwabara asked, pointing at the battleground.

Yusuke's eyes widened.

* * *

Sasuke and Naruto jumped away from each other, panting. Naruto straightened, and did kage bunshin again, sending one after his broom. It was time to take this into the open air, _hey, Kyuubi…_

Sasuke's Sharingan started spinning as he walked backwards, raising one of his hands in a kind of gun formation.

_Basically, it's shooting concentrated chakra from the fingertip…_

Sasuke narrowed his red eyes, "Katon: Uzi."

* * *

Yusuke slammed his hands on the seat when he saw Sasuke rapidly firing tiny fiery bullets at Naruto's clones, hitting them dead-on each time. Yusuke worked his jaw, but no words came out, _that's MY technique! My SIGNATURE technique! Dirty little THIEF!!_

"Wow… that looks an awful lot like the Spirit Gun." Kuwabara remarked.

* * *

Naruto felt the red chakra gathering as his back arched, and he put both hands and one foot one his broom. Sasuke, seeing this, released his curse mark, standing on top of his own discarded broom.

* * *

Gasps filled the stadium, and Ino leaned toward Sakura, "It looks like they're really getting into this…"

Sakura nodded silently, hoping they didn't go too much farther.

* * *

Sasuke felt a grin breaking across his face at the predictable rush of power. He spread his wings, and pushed off the ground, standing comfortably on top of the broom as it soared upward after Naruto.

* * *

"I can't see them…" Kiba said, straining his eyes to see what Naruto and Sasuke, now mere specks in the sky, were doing, "Hinata?"

Hinata's nodded, and closed her eyes for a moment. Veins appeared on the sides on her head, and she reopened them, though the contacts she was wearing concealed any change in her pupils. She looked hard at the two in the air; "They're using shuriken… ninjutsu and taijutsu now… I think they're about to use Chidori and Rasengan… their brooms just…"

Bits of debris fell, some on the ground, but most on the crowd.

"… Exploded. They're falling… ano…"

* * *

Kyuubi's power abruptly faded, and the curse mark deactivated, a sudden wave of depression hitting the two friends hard.

_This is so pointless…_

As Sasuke watched the ground approaching, the cries of shock and surprise from the audience fading to static in his mind, another scene superimposed itself on his vision. Naruto, right next to him, saw similarly, but from his point of view…

_Sasuke jumped through the trees, three others following him. Itachi… so close…_

_Suddenly, Naruto jumped in front of him. Sasuke, without slowing down, shoved a chidori into him._

_The clone disappeared, and the scene exploded, becoming complete darkness. Sound returned in the form of a voice… and… an impression of communication._

"_They're about to return."_

"_How long would it take to get them back out?"_

"_A few months."_

"_Too long… and too uncertain."_

Naruto and Sasuke felt their flash of depression disappear abruptly. Feeling almost as though they knew what the other was thinking, they acted.

Sasuke summoned the willpower to bring out his wings, grabbing Naruto and painfully slowing the fall just before they hit the ground, providing Naruto with just enough time to bite his finger and slap the ground.

* * *

The students watched, horrified, as Naruto and Sasuke fell. At first, they'd all expected the two to pull something, but as nothing happened, they started getting nervous.

Finally, there was a blur of motion when they were less than ten feet from the grass, and an enormous cloud of smoke filled the stadium.

When it cleared, there was a huge red frog sitting there, with a pipe in its mouth.

Ino sighed shakily, "Wow, I really thought they were goners when I felt that depression."

Temari fell back in her seat, laughing giddily, "Yeah…"

Kiba released his bated breath; "I hate it when those two are out at the same time…"

"The only thing worse is when Sakura's out, too." Shikamaru sighed.

Sakura's eyebrow twitched, "Oy…"

A sudden, deep rumbling shook the air, interrupting what was about to turn into a troublesome situation for Shikamaru, and Gamabunta reached up, taking Naruto and Sasuke off his back and plopping them fairly gently on the ground, "Oy… I expect you to tell me what's going on later."

* * *

Gamabunta disappeared.

Naruto and Sasuke sat, breathing hard, thinking about that… flash.

The short scene hadn't been very disturbing. The only thing they had noted about it was that they were either fifteen or sixteen in it. But then…

The… impression…it seemed so… eerily _familiar_.

However, quickly becoming too tired to contemplate, Naruto glanced at Sasuke, "Tie?"

Sasuke almost smiled, "Guess so."

"Not quite." An approaching voice said.

Naruto grimaced, "Great… I'd really rather it was a tie dattebayo."

Neji shrugged.

Sasuke scowled, "Che."

"Meh…" Naruto mumbled, sagging backwards, "Tha' sh'why I don' like you two… g'night… da…tteba…yo…"

"Good night, Naruto." Neji replied, mouth twitching in a near smile. He turned to Sasuke, crouched down to his eye level, and raised one hand, "Good night, Sasuke."

The last two things Sasuke saw before slipping into darkness were fingers, changing from Neji's to Itachi's as they jabbed his forehead.

* * *

Sorry about missing the deadline last week. Faulty devices...


	10. Temper, Temper

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Just for the record:

**Body Language**

"Japanese"

"Good morning, everyone." Professor Sprout greeted as she walked into the greenhouse. She had been feeling rather nervous earlier, with the approach of a class with Griffindor and Slytherin second years, but had calmed down when she learned that Naruto and Sasuke had beaten each other up pretty badly during their match, and couldn't attend the Herbology class.

Her precious plants were safe… today.

When there was no immediate response to her greeting, she tapped a large pot with her wand, "Good morning, everyone!"

"Good morning, Professor Sprout." The class replied.

"Welcome to Greenhouse Three, second years." Professor Sprout said, "Now gather round, everyone. Today we're going to re-pot Mandrakes. Who here can tell me the properties of the Mandrake root?"

Hermione's hand immediately went up.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Professor Sprout invited.

"Mandrake, or _Mandragora_, is used to return those who have been Petrified to their original state. It's also quite dangerous. The Mandrake's cry is fatal to anyone who hears it."

"Excellent. Ten points to Griffindor." Professor Sprout said approvingly, "Now as our Mandrakes are still only seedlings, their cries won't kill you, _yet_. But they could knock you out for several hours, which is why I have given you earmuffs for auditory protection. So could you please put them on, right away? Quickly. Flaps tight down, and watch me closely. You grasp your Mandrake firmly…" She demonstrated, "… You pull it sharply up out of the pot…"

Sharp squealing cut through the greenhouse as the professor's Mandrake left its warm pot. Hands went to covered ears.

"Got it?" Professor Sprout continued, "And… now you dunk it down into the other pot and pour a little sprinkling of soil to keep him warm."

As the squealing continued, Neville swooned, and fell limply to the floor.

"Longbottom's been neglecting his earmuffs." Professor Sprout commented. Malfoy snickered.

"No, ma'am." A student commented, "He's just fainted."

"Yes, well, just leave him there." Professor Sprout replied dismissively, "Right, on we go. Plenty of pots to go around… grasp your Mandrake and pull it up."

A tide of squealing filled the greenhouse as the students obeyed, grimacing as they observed their Mandrakes.

Malfoy grinned, and put his finger into the mouth of his. It shut up, but only because it's jaws closed around Malfoy's finger. It started screaming again as soon as Malfoy had managed to pull his finger from its maw.

* * *

…

* * *

Later, in the Great Hall, Ron wrapped tape around his broken wand. He looked at the length of wood disconsolately, "Say it. I'm doomed."

Harry, looking at the broken stick, nodded, "You're doomed."

"Hi, Harry!" A young boy greeted. Harry looked up, and was met with a flash. He blinked the spots from his eyes, and the boy introduced himself, "I'm Colin Creevey. I'm in Griffindor too."

"… Hi, Colin." Harry welcomed, not quite recovered, "Nice to meet you."

"Ron, is that your owl?" Another Griffindor asked.

Ron looked up to see, sure enough, Errol flying toward him. It flew gracefully low over the table, landing beautifully.

Kind of…

Sort of…

Not really…

It crashed beautifully into a bowl of chips.

Ron muttered something about birds and menaces, and picked up the scarlet letter dropped by his family's elegant, poised owl, that, coincidentally, was just picking itself up and taking off again.

"Oh, no…" Ron moaned.

"Look, everyone. Weasely's got himself a Howler." Someone teased. Several other students laughed, including (obviously) Malfoy.

"Go on, Ron." Neville encouraged, "I ignored one from my gran once… it was horrible."

Ron gulped, and turned the letter over, opening it with trembling hands.

"_Ronald Weasely!_" An echoing voice screamed from the letter. Ron dropped it as if it had suddenly become steaming hot. Taking no notice of this, the letter continued, hopping into the air and floating there, "How dare you steal that car! I am absolutely disgusted! Your father's now facing an inquiry at work, and it's entirely _your fault!_ If you put another _toe_ out of line, we'll bring you _straight home_!"

The letter turned slightly, "Oh, and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Griffindor. Your father and I are so proud."

The letter turned back to Ron, spit a red ribbon at him, and tore itself up.

Silence.

"I think your mother has some anger issues." Neji commented, sipping some orange juice serenely, "Don't let it get to you."

* * *

…

* * *

Get up! Freaks! Up! NOW!!

With that as the only transition from unconsciousness through sleep to wakening, Naruto and Sasuke sat up in their respective hospital beds with a jolt, to be greeted by a screech from Ino, although it had been Temari who was yelling at them.

"Sheesh!" Ino yelled in Naruto's face, "You were out for _hours_! _Idiot_!"

"Why are you screaming at _me_?!" Naruto demanded, "What happened!?"

The lights in the room suddenly became dim, and a glow lit Ino's face as she turned to encompass Naruto and Sasuke in her peripheral vision. Her voice suddenly lowered, speaking of something almost too terrible to imagine…

"Shino and Hinata yelled at each other."

The blood drained from Naruto and Sasuke's faces.

* * *

"It went downhill really fast after you two went out." Sakura said, sitting in an empty room with her teammates. Madam Pomfrey didn't want them out of the Hospital Wing, and they'd respected her wishes, of course…

Kind of…

Sort of…

Not really…

In respect of her wishes, they faintly hoped she wouldn't notice them missing. And, respecting her wishes, of course, they didn't care much. After all (still respecting Madam Pomfrey's wishes) this was _very_ important… to them.

Sakura was somewhat unappreciative of their… _difficult to understand _respect, but still, this needed immediate discussion in a private area. It had absolutely _nothing_ to do with making sure Naruto and Sasuke didn't get bored and end up beating each other senseless again.

"It's official." Sakura said gravely, "Our emotions aren't diluted anymore. When someone goes out, we all receive a full blast. Thankfully, a lot of your emotions cancelled each other out, but…"

"I don't think I want to know what happened to set Shino and Hinata off on each other…" Naruto commented.

Sakura looked at the ceiling, "I'll just put it this way… some of Hinata's emotions cancelled out Sasuke's, and Shino's cancelled out Naruto's… mostly. Obviously, there were still flavors of Hinata and Sasuke in Hinata, and similarly with Shino… but that didn't really help… at all."

"Man…" Naruto made a face, "Having Sasuke in your head for three hours, fourteen and three quarter minutes… that would _really _stink…"

Sakura ignored this… mostly. She gave Naruto a warning eye twitch, **I **_**dare**_** you to say something like that again, idiot**, "I used some medical ninjutsu, but my skill there is still pretty limited, and Sasuke really tore you up."

Naruto's jaw dropped, "Oh yeah? And what kept _his_ recovery!?"

The door suddenly opened, and Shino walked in, "You two should be in the Hospital Wing."

Team 7 looked at the bug-user incredulously.

* * *

…

* * *

"This year is going to start out beautifully." George whispered. Fred nodded, grinning, "I think I like the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher…"

Said teacher sat calmly up front, scanning the Great Hall as dinner went under way. Any minute now…

* * *

"… That kind of precision is very difficult to attain, even when you have a knack for it." Neji finished.

Ron nodded in understanding, "What about walking on walls and ceilings?"

"Not nearly so difficult." Neji replied, "Actually, one of us could probably teach you if you wanted to learn."

Ron was suddenly overcome with an image of running from Filch, using chakra suction to avoid getting caught. He smiled happily, "That would be awesome…"

Neji looked around neutrally, "I guess if you finish your homework, I'll show you how after dinner…"

Ron's face fell. Do homework and learn to look purely awesome, or skip homework like usual and miss the opportunity? Such a difficult decision…

But then, he didn't have much homework to do… the year had only just started, after all. The teachers hadn't yet had the chance to bring in their big guns.

"Oh, hi, Ron, Neji." Hermione greeted, coming in with Harry, "We were going to visit Naruto in the Hospital Wing, but it looks like Madam Pomfrey allowed him… and Sasuke too, by the way… to come to dinner."

"Looks like he's sitting over there." Harry pointed out.

"Great. We were just discussing ninja skills." Ron said.

Hermione smiled, doubting Ron had paid much attention to whatever Neji had said. Still…

"Hey…" She said, "What kinds of rules do shinobi have?"

The three boys looked at her in mild surprise.

"Well…" Neji thought for a moment, "There's one… that a shinobi shouldn't cry when someone dies…"

"Because they've gone to a better place?" Harry asked.

Neji shook his head, "No, the profession is not that cheerful. A shinobi is a tool. Therefore, when anyone, an enemy, a target, a friend dies, a shinobi should not grieve. Emotion impairs judgment."

Hermione's smile disappeared, Harry's eyes widened, and Ron grimaced, _maybe being cool isn't as cool as it sounds…_

"However…" Neji tapped the table, "Even though it's a generally accepted rule, not many shinobi have the discipline to completely kill their emotions. None of us residing here do."

He left unsaid his own opinion on the matter. One need only look as far as Sasuke to see how emotion could impair judgment, but on the flip side, one need only look as far as Naruto to see how emotion could positively affect judgment… when it mattered, at least…

"Are you expected to follow that rule?" Harry asked.

Neji frowned, and turned to the table, "We were…"

Although Neji's sudden grimness was caused by a reminder of how separated he was from his village, the Golden Trio understandably mistook it as a reaction to being expected to follow such a regulation.

Awkward…

* * *

"How are your curse marks?" Sasuke asked, sitting next to Malfoy.

"How's your _head_?" Malfoy sneered, "That looked like a nasty fall."

Sasuke ignored this, "Given time, they're going to morph."

Malfoy blanched, "Morph?"

Sasuke calmly picked up his fork, "One year isn't long, but given enough time, it'll change to a stage two mark… without the right care, that change will kill you."

"… How much…" Malfoy didn't finish the question.

And he didn't need to. Sasuke looked down thoughtfully, "I'm not sure, but Orochimaru will probably work something out to keep the transition smooth."

Malfoy shivered, "… Probably…?"

Gaara, listening and feeling somewhat sympathetic toward Malfoy, cut in, "We'll make sure he does."

"We will?" Temari asked.

Gaara looked straight into Sasuke's eyes, "Yes. Orochimaru will not let them die." **Don't let them die, Sasuke.**

Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

Suddenly, two huge blankets (placed on either side of the Great Hall) fell, revealing twin bulletin boards.

Sasuke's jaw tightened when he looked up at the top row on the board closest to the Slytherin table.

On one side of the row was his name, 'Sasuke Uchiha', while on the opposite side of the same row was 'Shuichi Minamino'.

On the second row, sitting right in the middle was 'Gilderoy Lockhart'.

The Great Hall went suddenly dead silent, and Naruto frowned at one of the boards, "What is that?"

Fred grinned, "Those are the poll results."

George snickered, "For the most popular resident of Hogwarts."

Naruto's eyes scanned the board, not really surprised by what he found, "… I'm near the bottom."

"That's actually pretty remarkable…" Fred remarked, "Most people didn't get on at all."

"But it seems all of you ninja did." George said.

"In fact, you're a majority." Fred added.

They were cut off from further conversation by a sudden shout. It was Sakura.

"I dare you to say that again!" Sakura yelled at another Ravenclaw.

"I will!" The Ravenclaw girl stood up, coming to eye level with Sakura, "Sasuke stinks!"

Naruto immediately launched himself from the Griffindor table with mixed feelings. On one hand, Sasuke was his friend. No one insults his friends. On the other hand, hearing a girl actually insult Sasuke instead of fawn over him felt kind of refreshing.

At that moment, the only thing he was sure of was that that girl had just put herself in mortal danger.

Naruto latched onto Sakura, keeping his teammate from killing the offender, "Sakura-chan! Just let it go!"

"Let go of me, Naruto! Let me at her!"

The girl, seeing Sakura restrained, smiled, "Shuichi is far better than _Sasuke_ could ever _hope_ to be."

Naruto blinked, _psycho fangirl…_

A drumstick suddenly hit the girl's head, and she spun around, shocked. Ino grinned at her, standing atop the Hufflepuff table and hefting a few more tasty projectiles (as Chouji stared, shocked, at the drumstick), "I bet you don't know nearly as much about Shuichi as we know about Sasuke. In fact, we know more about _Shuichi_ than you do."

Naruto let go of Sakura, who had calmed down enough so that if she still hit the girl, that wouldn't make a casualty, and backed off slowly to the safety of his table. Looking around at the silent Hall, he saw every gaze directed at the confrontation. Most of the female ones were hostile, ready to attack on a moment's notice.

A Hufflepuff girl stood up next to Ino abruptly, challengingly, "Professor Lockhart is better than both of them, of cou–"

Ino hefting a bowl threateningly cut her off, "Don't you dare finish that sentence."

The girl's face turned an angry red, and she drew a sausage, "Professor Lockhart could beat either of them any day of the week!"

There was a final moment of dead silence as Ino threw the bowl (of ramen), at the same time as the other girl threw the sausage. They sailed through the air peacefully, until they collided midway, and the Great Hall broke out in chaos, a three-way war erupting between the fans of Sasuke, Kurama, and Gilderoy. Other factions joined in, as well, but none of them got close to size of those three.

Fred ducked a slice of pie, "I'd call this a success."

George nodded, "Especially since the dishes refill themselves."

* * *

Unseen, a shadow slipped across the wall, making it's way slowly and steadily toward a certain Ravenclaw.

Kurama spluttered as a pie came out of _nowhere_ and hit him directly in the face.

_Must be one of my anti-fans…_

* * *

Chouji's jaw dropped as the food went flying. Such a terrible waste…

Jumping on top of the table as Shikamaru went under it to take a nap (as the Ravenclaw table had become the central war zone), Chouji grabbed every edible morsel that came within reach, dumping it in his mouth and ready to grab again with inhuman speed.

* * *

Kiba was going to stay neutral, but that was before a bowl of curry (Curry of Life, straight from an excavated recipe to a hog wart near you) hit Akamaru.

Tenten sat under the table, holding two large bowls of ramen and examining them curiously.

* * *

Hinata walked quickly and silently to a corner of the room, turning and watching the battle. It was quite a sight, as the room had already become pretty trashed. A boy leaned against the wall beside her, "Man, can you _believe_ them?"

When Hinata didn't answer, the boy went on, "There are even some who are defending that blond kid, Naruto. I just can't understand how they can be attracted to him! He's an _idiot_! And did you _see_ what he wore during that match? It's hurts just to look at him, because he's practically _glowing_! Yellow and orange–"

The boy slumped, and Hinata withdrew her open palm, "Ano… gomen nasai…"

* * *

The shadow made its way to its next target, sitting obliviously…

Sasuke spun around, suddenly alert to a presence behind him. This action caused a pie thrown from aforementioned presence to hit his face with perfect accuracy.

… _Someone is going to die for this…_

* * *

"Hey… about that chakra suction training?" Ron mentioned nervously as he avoided getting hit by stray food.

"Good idea." Neji stated simply. Ron noticed that he had those veins on the side of his head, but didn't ask about it. Harry and Hermione had been separated from them a few minutes ago, but Ron could see them near Lee, who seemed determined to deflect anything that might hit any of the students around him.

This entire fight seemed more hilarious than anything else, but Ron didn't really want to stick around. Without being able to see through the back of his head, he had no guarantee he wasn't going to be pummeled with perfectly edible material.

* * *

Gilderoy watched in confusion as a young man wearing a swirling orange mask came up to him.

"Hello, sir!" The boy greeted (the age was very difficult to tell), "Tobi has something for you!"

"Yes?" Gilderoy asked politely, the sounds of a massive food fight fading into the background.

His answer was a blackberry pie to the face, and a cheerful, "Tobi is a good boy!"

* * *

"Tobi did what you asked him to!" 'Tobi' said cheerfully.

"Great, here." George handed him a small bronze piece.

"What house did you say you were from again?" Fred asked.

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi answered… more or less.

"Hufflepuff, then." George deduced.

"You're smart!" Tobi replied, skipping away.

"Think he's a Ravenclaw?" Fred asked quietly. George nodded.

* * *

"Whoa, Itachi's little brother looks ready to kill something…" Deidara commented, "I wonder who hit him with that pie? That'll put a dent in the Uchiha reputation, hm…"

"Tobi's back Deidara-san, Sasori-san!" Tobi greeted.

"Tobi!" Deidara hissed, "What are you doing here?!"

"It doesn't matter." Sasori interrupted, "It's time to head out."

"Tobi hopes he doesn't try to get in the way…" Tobi pointed. Deidara and Sasori spun around, and were confronted by Jiraiya, who abruptly straightened from his not-so-awesome sneaking pose. Haku and Zabuza, hanging back, sweat-dropped.

Jiraiya cleared his throat, and became serious, "What are you doing here?"

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi answered immediately, raising his hands and backing off quickly.

Deidara, already fed up with Tobi, grabbed him and shoved him toward Jiraiya, who grabbed him and held him slightly off the ground uncertainly.

Tobi's gloved hands latched onto Jiraiya's wrist, "… You're strangling Tobi…"

Jiraiya shrugged, and tossed Tobi toward Haku and Zabuza, "Keep an eye on him."

The Mist-nin nodded, and Tobi saluted. Jiraiya, unable to understand the odd mask-wearing person, turned back to the Akatsuki, "I'll ask one more time: what are you doing here?"

* * *

I think they were chips… they looked like chips…

No reviews last chappy... I'm hurt... oh, yeah, and I apologize for the cliffhanger.


	11. Calming

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

When Harry and Hermione finally got out of the Great Hall, after the fighting had died down a little, they tiredly made their way to the common room. They stopped just after entering through the portrait, however, hearing Ron and Neji talking. There was no one else there… the fangirls must have either been too tired to fight or come to a ceasefire.

"In your feet! Your _feet_!"

"I'm trying!"

"Your chakra is scattering everywhere. Concentrate."

…

"It's settling in your right shin."

"This is a lot harder than it sounded."

"It's almost always harder than it sounds."

"What are they _doing_?" Hermione whispered. Harry shook his head in confusion.

"Finally… now put one foot on the wall."

Crack.

"… You… I have never seen someone with control _that_ bad…"

"… What?"

"Too much energy in the toes, and not enough in the heel. Focus on your foot in _general_."

_Crack._

"… Do you think the professors will mind us damaging the wall?"

"They probably have spells to fix it… try drawing your wand."

"… Why?"

"Just do it."

…

"Press it to your foot… focus energy through it… now…"

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"Put the wand on your other foot, and focus energy through it."

They heard Ron suck in a sharp breath, "Seriously, what are you trying to do!?"

"Put both feet on the wall."

"… Whoa…"

Harry and Hermione walked in quietly, and their jaws dropped when they saw Ron standing on a wall and Neji observing him critically… with those odd veins on the sides of his head…

Neji spared them a glance, and turned back to Ron, "You're trained to use your wand, making other ways to use energy all the more difficult. For now, we'll have to continue like this. You've just channeled energy through the wand to where you need it to be, and I cut off your chakra circulation so that it stays there. This will last a little while."

Ron looked nervously at his feet, "So… I'll just… stick to walls?"

Neji nodded.

"What about walking on water?" Ron asked.

"Don't try." Neji replied, "That requires a steady stream of chakra from your foot. You can't even get it evenly there. When… _if_ you learn to walk on walls without my help, _then_ we'll try water."

Ron sighed, "This doesn't seem as cool as I thought…"

"Of course." Neji said neutrally, "It takes time to become a professional."

He glanced at Harry and Hermione, "Do you want to try?"

"… S-sure." Hermione said timidly, "What are we supposed to do?"

Neji looked at the ceiling, "We don't have time to see how much work your chakra control could use. You were listening, so you should know what to do."

"Um… well…" Hermione thought for a moment, "Put the wand on the foot…"

"And channel energy through it." Neji finished. Hermione nodded, but almost as soon as she laid the wand on her foot, she wondered how she was supposed to channel energy through it.

Neji's eye twitched, "Focus on a stream… not water, but energy, starting in your hand, going through the wand, and into your foot."

Hermione closed her eyes, and did as Neji told her. A light blue stream formed in her mind, but she didn't feel any change… until Neji poked her ankle. Hard.

"Ow!" Hermione hissed. She was about to ask, "what was that for" before she realized that that was exactly what Ron had said. Thinking back on it, she deduced that somehow, Neji's poke must have stopped her 'chakra circulation' (whatever that was), thus containing it in her foot. In light of this, she silently moved her wand to the other foot, and didn't complain when Neji poked her again.

"There." Neji stated, "Harry."

Harry nodded. Watching Ron (who was now walking tentatively on the wall), he wanted to try, too… but he was glad he didn't have to ask.

After finishing with Harry, Neji looked at the three of them, "We have to be in bed soon, so don't mess around too much."

"Hey…" Ron said, "You walk on ceilings a lot…"

"Yes?" Neji asked.

Ron shifted, "Well, it may sound stupid, but… what do you do about blood rushing to your head?"

Neji looked at him for a moment, and silently walked to the boys' dormitory.

"Well, it shouldn't be a problem if they don't walk on ceilings too long." Hermione reasoned, tentatively putting a foot on the wall.

Ron bit his lip, trying to remember how long Team 7 would usually walk (or run) on the ceiling.

* * *

Elsewhere in Hogwarts, five Slytherin students walked down a hall.

Abruptly, Sasuke (who had by this time cleaned his face) stopped and turned to face Draco, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle, "Earlier, I received a letter from Orochimaru."

"That snake freak?" Draco asked as the other three fell silent.

"Yes." Sasuke answered coldly, "He wants me to train you to become reasonably competent shinobi."

"That sounds cool!" Crabbe said.

"That sounds _hard_." Pansy groaned.

Sasuke activated his Sharingan, "I can't _believe_… just put your wands down for now. You're unconsciously focusing energy in your wand arm, and you're going to need it in your feet for this."

* * *

Gilderoy surveyed the ruined Great Hall. He had never before realized how three nearly equal fanbases could so easily get set off at each other. Or how much of a mess they could make.

There were few students still here. The first years had all been forcefully pulled from the fight, and older students who didn't want to get involved in the catfights that would inevitably break out in their common rooms had permission to take shelter here for a couple of hours.

Shuichi was one of these.

Gilderoy watched him. Shuichi, along with Sasuke, was managing to stay just ahead of him popularity-wise… although it still baffled him how those two were so intensely _equal_. Somehow, they had the _exact same_ number of fans. Had he not seen the results, Gilderoy wouldn't have believed it possible.

Thus, Sasuke not being present, he studied the Ravenclaw. Polite… outgoing… long, relatively smooth, deep red hair… cheerful bright green eyes… _where_ could Gilderoy not match up to him?

Then there was Sasuke, everything Shuichi wasn't. Cold, anti-social, short spiky black hair with a slight blue tinge, eyes so dark they appeared black…

Actually, thinking about it that way, Gilderoy could almost see how he didn't match up to those two. He crushed that notion immediately.

Moving away from his main rivals… he had to remember the ones below him that might constitute a threat. Everyone under himself, Shuichi, and Sasuke were close competitors with each other.

Harry Potter. Gilderoy's eyes widened slightly as he noticed that Harry was like a cross between Shuichi and Sasuke: short, wild black hair, green eyes, polite, but distant. This combination earned him a fair number of fans, and while he currently did not rival Gilderoy, let alone Shuichi or Sasuke, he had the potential to do so.

Neji Hyuuga… oh, yes, exotic names helped, too. That would also help Sasuke and Shuichi… but anyway…

And he couldn't forget the whole 'ninja' thing. Gilderoy ground his teeth.

Very dark brown hair… somewhat anti-social, albeit polite…

* * *

"Is it so much to ask…" Sasuke said icily, Sharingan spinning, "To focus it in your _feet_?"

"I guess so." Pansy snapped irritably, "What's the deal with your eyes, anyway?"

"To watch where your chakra is going." Sasuke returned, "Maybe if you can get your chakra to where it's supposed to be, I'll tell you more."

"How long are we going to be doing this?" Goyle moaned.

"Until your chakra is in your feet." Sasuke growled, getting annoyed at how many times he had to say the same thing.

"Whoa…" Draco breathed, gently putting a foot on the wall, and hesitantly following it with the other foot. Encouraged, he tried to take a third step… and fell to the ground, feeling his eyes start itching. It was getting way past bedtime…

"… How did you do _that_?" Pansy asked, astounded. Draco just groaned, rubbing his head.

"By focusing." Sasuke answered, "What you should be doing."

He turned to the fallen Malfoy; "You fell because you weren't putting enough energy in your feet. But since you at least got it there, you can rest until these three have gotten that far."

* * *

"It's time to go to bed." Neji stated. Ron hopped off the wall. Harry and Hermione had gone to bed a little while ago.

"Neji…" Ron said uncertainly, rubbing his eyes and determining to not let his low energy level stop him, "Can you… undo what that… poke did?"

Neji tilted his head curiously, silently crouched down, activated Byakugan, and reopened Ron's sealed tenketsu.

Ron made a face in response to the slight, stabbing pain, but didn't complain. When Neji stood back up, he called to mind what it felt like to have energy focused in his feet, having spent most of his time on the wall and ceiling trying to imprint that in his memory.

Satisfied that he had passably duplicated the feeling, Ron took a deep breath, and jumped, lightly kicking the wall with both feet, and keeping them there.

Neji raised an eyebrow, "… Impressive."

Ron grinned, and picked up one foot to return to the floor. In accordance with this action, his other foot slipped, accompanied by the loud crack of breaking stone. Ron landed face first on the carpet, and Neji turned, walking away.

Ron lifted his head, holding his nose, and Neji glanced over his shoulder, "It was still impressive."

* * *

"_Yo, Shikamaru." Naruto said, "I think we should get a little more serious about reporting during sleep dattebayo."_

"_Yeah. With the entirety of _Konoha, _not to mention Suna, working on reversing our immortality, it only makes sense to do whatever we can to help." Shikamaru agreed, _then why not mention sleep to Tsunade? _"But… what exactly brings this up?"_

_Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, and Naruto answered, "When Sasuke and I were falling, we both had a flashback."_

"_That doesn't really describe it." Sasuke pointed out, "It felt like it had happened, but we know it didn't. Also, we were fifteen or sixteen… in the corresponding time period."_

"_Corresponding time period?"_

_Naruto nodded, "As if Home hadn't happened."_

_Shikamaru frowned, "What did you… see?"_

"_Not much…" Sasuke answered neutrally, "I just saw myself hitting Naruto's kage bunshin with Chidori."_

_Naruto nodded, "Me too, but from my clone's perspective. Although, in the dream last year…"_

"_What?" Kiba asked._

_Naruto shook his head, "I remember a similar thing happening… except that I was facing Itachi, and I was on an urgent mission to… well, I was on an urgent mission."_

_Gaara looked up, "I think I experienced something like that last year. It was a reaction to Deidara."_

_Neji cocked his head, "That… happened to me, as well, in reaction to Kisame. Something that seems like it happened… but you know didn't?"_

_Sasuke nodded, "Déjà vu, basically. Something like past and future, with the added sense of present."_

"_Then I guess the only word to describe it would be a 'Flash'?" Sakura suggested._

"_I guess so…" Naruto said._

"_Great news_flash_." Kiba said, deciding to change the atmosphere a little, "In summary, weather today included dark clouds, isolated déjà vu, and severe conditions in the Great Hall."_

_Picking up on the clear, matter-of-fact tone, Naruto spoke up, "And it seems one of our genius friends here got a student."_

_Sasuke blinked, and Neji glanced at Naruto, "Prospectively."_

"_Two of our genius friends." Kankuro corrected. The others looked at him curiously, and he jabbed a finger in Sasuke's direction, "Four students, actually."_

_Sasuke scowled, "They learn about as quickly as Naruto."_

"_Be nice." Temari chuckled, "It's not their fault they've been conditioned to use wands."_

"_It's also not their fault they don't happen to be Uchiha." Kankuro added._

_Realization dawned on Naruto, "So, now you're definitely their senpai dattebayo!"_

"_Sen_sei_." Sasuke snapped, "Senpai implies that our power levels are measured on relatively similar scales."_

"_It still amazes me that you can have self-esteem issues going in both directions…" Naruto muttered. Then, louder, _"_But you know, sensei implies that too dattebayo."_

_Sasuke opted against replying to that._

"I'll ask one more time: what are you doing here?"

"We could ask you the same thing, hm." Deidara replied.

"Hmph." Jiraiya raised his hand to his mouth, posing, "Then I guess it falls to the great _Jiraiya-sama_ to purge this school of the Akatsuki scourge!"

"'Scourge' seems to take it a bit far." Kisame said, appearing behind them. Jiraiya looked over his shoulder, seeing Itachi standing slightly ahead of Kisame. _That's not good…_

Haku tensed, raising one hand in preparation of a fight.

* * *

Hmm… I don't want to stop it at this length, but I can't seem to find anything else to put in this chapter… and if I try to stretch out a scene, it'll either become monotonous, or, in the case of the final one, reveal some things a little too soon.

Yes, I apologize for the cliffhanger. And I apologize in advance for… something that would make the apology a moot point were I to elaborate.

* * *


	12. Interlude

I appear to have contracted my first major case of Writer's Block. I extend gratitude to readers and reviewers, and will now turn my attention toward other creative pursuits until such a time comes that I can return to this with a fresh mind.

Now, for the purpose of holding to the rules of this site, and because I want to leave something before going on hiatus...

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Relaxing on a tower, Tobi looked out over the shimmering expanse of Hogwarts' lake. Under the mask, he was frowning. A calculating, displeased scowl.

There were so many annoying complications. Everyone was dancing around, but not getting anything done, despite having all the resources they needed to find a solution. At this rate, however, it would be a long time...

Still, with Akatsuki, he would be able to indirectly speed the process up a little. Though it would be much faster if he could work freely... such was the price of wearing a mask.

An orange mask.

A _swirly_ orange mask.

...

Were it not for Itachi's deadline... literally... he would be able to wait it out, but as it was...

... He would just have to find the answer carefully, and quickly.


	13. Frazzle

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

Forenote: It's been a long time, but my enthusiasm for this headache-inducing story is returning. I intend to finish the trilogy without another such hiatus.

I may have forgotten a few subplots over this time (probably some key plot-points as well, sadly), and all my previous files concerning this story have been irrevocably lost, but I will maintain continuity to the best of my ability.

… What was I apologizing for in C11 (Calming)…? That might have been important… oh dear…

Come on, where was I?

* * *

There was another, somewhat tentative, First-Year Griffindor-Slytherin class the next day.

The door creaked as it opened, and a grinning professor entered the room, "Let me introduce you to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; me." He paused a moment for effect, then continued with flourish, "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class. Honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of _Witch Weekly_'s Most-Charming-Smile Award." He smirked, "But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at him." He chuckled. A few girls sighed dreamily. Ron was looking increasingly incredulous. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Now, be warned." Lockhart went on, his tone abruptly becoming serious, "It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind." He tapped a mysterious-looking object, covered with a blood-red cloth, sitting on his desk, "You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room."

Naruto tensed, knowing immediately that a bowl of moldy ramen had to be beneath the drape, concealing the mold-ramen monster that once stalked his dreams. Back when he had dreams. Lee, sitting beside him, felt a similar dread, but took courage from knowing he was with friends.

"Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here." Gilderoy reached for the cloth, "I must ask you not to scream…" He ripped it away, "It might provoke them!"

Crowded in the small cage hidden by the fabric were a small horde of blue, winged creatures.

Naruto squinted. They didn't _look_ like the mold-ramen monster that once haunted his dreams…

"Cornish pixies?" Seamus scoffed.

"Freshly caught Cornish pixies." Gilderoy corrected proudly. A few students chuckled.

"Laugh if you will, Mr. Finnigan." Lockhart stated, "But pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters. Let's see what you make of them." He opened the cage, and the pixies flew out excitedly, immediately setting to wreaking havoc in the room. Gaara neutrally surrounded himself in a dome of sand, opting to sit it out.

Kankuro was going to do the same thing, until one of the pixies threw a bottle of ink in his face, apparently finding it highly amusing. It was less amused when it was nearly skewered by a kunai. Kankuro hefted a second, this one poison tipped, the ink mixing with his purple makeup and making his scowl nightmarish. The pixies took the hint.

Temari cursed not having her fan, but found that she was close enough to Kankuro that the pixies weren't coming too close.

Neji sighed, absently noting a few pixies gathering near him. The absent note turned quickly into alarm when the small group surrounded him, closing in slowly, laughing. Moving on startled instinct, Neji jumped up and performed a Hakkeshō Kaiten.

"Come on now, round them up! They're only pixies." Lockhart said to the pandemonium.

"_You_ round them up." Sasuke growled under his breath, electrocuting any pixie foolish enough to invade his personal space.

Amid students trying to keep their belongings away from the mischievous creatures, Neville was hoisted into the air by two of them and dropped to hang on a chandelier.

One of them started tugging Hermione's hair, and Harry whacked it away with a book.

"_Peskipiksi Pesternomi!_" Lockhart yelled, waving his wand. It was grabbed by a pixie before he completed the bouncing gesture. He ran up the stairs, failing to keep one of his pictures out of the grasp of the devilishly tricky little blighters, and left the room with a parting request for the Golden Trio, "I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage."

Ron panicked, "What do we do now?"

Hermione answered, aiming her wand into the air, "_Immobulus!_"

The pixies all froze, now floating gently in the air.

"Why is it always me?" Neville wondered.

* * *

Short, yes. And this class should probably have been right after lunch. Oh well.

Pulling this story back together is not going to be easy... -.-


	14. Impending Reorientation

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

… I still can't remember what I was apologizing for in C11… curses…

And I forgot Hiei and Kuwabara last chapter. What a great way to come off hiatus.

I was right when I thought the characterizations were slipping. And how! Ouch…

* * *

(Day previous)

* * *

On the one side, Jiraiya, Haku, and Zabuza. On the other, Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, and Deidara.

Hiding in the background, Tobi.

"Akatsuki and Konoha have similar interests." Itachi said quietly.

Jiraiya altered his stance slightly, "So what?"

"It could be mutually beneficial for us to pool our resources." Itachi replied evenly.

Jiraiya's expression took on a cat-like quality, "I see a lot that I have that Akatsuki doesn't, but not much vice versa."

"A willingness to use whatever method necessary to 'cure' a certain group."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"From what we understand, bijuu cannot be extracted from jinchuuriki in such a state."

Jiraiya nodded, "Alright then. But your 'willingness to use whatever method necessary' is hardly of use if it doesn't get you information."

"And what if I said we had that?"

"What information could you possibly have that we don't?"

"_Methods_, Sage." Sasori held up a small, deep crimson stone, "This Stone contains certain properties allowing longevity… we're going to see how one of the subjects reacts to it."

"A rock." Jiraiya deadpanned.

"Stone." Sasori corrected.

"Longevity."

"Yes."

…

* * *

"Dumbledore." Jiraiya greeted.

"Yes?"

"Why is Akatsuki here?"

"They presented themselves as an asset."

Jiraiya laughed sarcastically, "Typical!" He coughed, "Well, whatever." Akatsuki seemed to have intellectually regressed about as much as the genin. They could keep each other occupied while he settled in to this place.

* * *

"Think that'll take care of him, hm?" Deidara asked, hefting the rock.

"For a time." Itachi answered

"Just don't do anything significant where he can see you." Kisame added.

If they could keep Jiraiya underestimating them, everything would be easier.

"We're not actually going to test this thing are we?" Deidara wondered. He tossed the rock to Itachi, who caught it deftly.

"Of course we are." Itachi replied evenly.

"We don't know anything, so we'll be trying _everything._" Sasori emphasized.

Deidara looked at his senpai incredulously, "But _Tobi _suggested it!"

"I don't like to repeat myself." Sasori snapped.

* * *

(Present)

* * *

Orochimaru smirked at the looming castle. He had a feeling a lot would be happening this year…

* * *

Trying to get a feel for where everyone is… but I don't remember how much Dumbledore knows about Akatsuki.

And I have to figure out how to work everyone's messed up characterizations.

I'll probably have to be lax with the continuity. -.-


	15. Sparks

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

"I spent the summer devising a whole new Quidditch program; we are going to train earlier, harder and longer– what? I don't believe it!" A wary aggression appeared in Oliver's face as he watched the Slytherin Team mosey through the yard. "Where do you think you're going, Flint?"

"Quidditch practice."

"I booked the Pitch for Gryffindor today."

"Easy, Wood, I've got a note."

Ron, seeing the exchange, put down his book. "Uh-oh. I smell trouble."

"'I_, Professor Severus Snape, do hereby give the Slytherin Team permission to practice today, owing to the need to train their new seeker'._ You've got a new Seeker. Who?" Oliver handed the scroll back.

Harry couldn't believe his eyes when the suspect stepped forth. "_Malfoy_?"

"That's right. And that's not all that's new this year." Flipping his broom so that it was clearly visible, he smirked as he watched Ron's eyes widen.

"Those are Nimbus 2001s! How did you get those?"

"A gift from Draco's father." Flint said, voice practically dripping in smugness.

"You see, Weasley," Malfoy said, somehow even more smug than Flint, "unlike_ some_, my father can afford the best."

"At least no one on the Gryffindor Team had to _buy_ their way in." Hermione quipped as she put on her own smirk. "They got in on pure talent."

That wiped the grin off Malfoy's face. He walked over and leaned against his broom with a look of disgust. "No one asked _your _opinion, you filthy little_ mudblood_."

That was too far. Ron pulled out his wand, "You'll pay for that one, Malfoy. Eat slugs!"

There was flash of light, and then Ron was flying backwards through the air, crashing into another Griffindor on his short journey.

Harry and Hermione rushed over with the snickering of the Slytherins behind them. Ron sat up groaning, gripping his head where it had come into forceful contact with the random–

Shinobi.

Harry knelt down, checking Neji while Hermione tended to Ron, "You alright?"

After taking a moment to make sure his skull was still in one piece, Neji nodded curtly. Satisfied, Harry looked back at Ron just in time to see a slimy mess spewing out of his mouth.

* * *

Sakura was taken out of her reverie by a small voice, "Where am I?"

It was a large slug (by normal standards), sitting on the ground and looking around in confusion… surrounded by none other than two Quidditch teams, plus Ron and Hermione.

Griffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams.

_Confrontational_ Griffindor and Slytherin– wait, why should she have to consciously recognize that?

Whatever. That slug was not the current object of malice, and probably did not deserve to be at this place, at this time. Just slip in, rescue–

Ron puked. A slug.

Horrified, Sakura saw the scene with new eyes. Coming from _Ron's mouth_… she sprinted to the now two slugs lying on the grass, knelt and started talking to them soothingly. The second slug was still in shock, unable to talk. The first was just starting to come out of it, speaking quickly, and then calming down as Sakura went on.

The Quidditch players were giving her odd looks, she was aware, but that took a backseat to the wellbeing of these poor traumatized slugs.

* * *

"Hagrid," Hermione muttered quickly, hoisting Ron to his feet. Harry stood up to help, but then paused without quite knowing why.

"We'll get him." one of the Weasely twins said, striding past Harry toward Neji.

"Okay." Apparently that was what Harry was worried about, for some reason, because he suddenly wasn't hesitating. He went to help Hermione and Ron.

* * *

"This calls for specialist equipment. Nothin' to do but wait 'till it stops, I'm afraid."

Another slug.

"Who was Ron trying to curse, anyway?"

Harry answered, "Malfoy. He called Hermione a– um, well, I don't know exactly what it means."

There was a brief moment of silence as Hermione walked over towards the window. "He called me a Mudblood."

"He did not!"

"What's a Mudblood?"

Hermione pursed her lips, "It means dirty blood. Mudblood's a really foul name for someone's who's muggle-born, someone with non-magic parents, someone like me… it's not a term one usually hears in civilized conversation."

Hagrid explained a little more, "You see the thing is, Harry, there's some Wizards, like the Malfoy family, who think they're better than everyone else because they're what people call 'Pureblood'."

"That's horrible."

Another slug.

"It's disgusting." Ron said.

"And it's cadswallop to boot. _Dirty blood. _Why, there isn't a Wizard alive today that's not Half-blood or less. More to the point, there's yet a thing or a spell that our Hermione can't do. Come here." Hagrid gestured her over "Don't you think on it, Hermione, don't you think on it for one minute. Hey."

* * *

"Harry, Harry, Harry, can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention than by helping me to answer my fan mail?" Lockhart asked, in the cheerful manner that had become typical of him.

"Not really." Harry would have loved not serving detention at all, but really, this was pretty good. At least when Lockhart brought up the alternatives.

Lockhart frowned at one of the letters, "Your friends in Ravenclaw and Slytherin may be popular here, but eventually they will learn there's a bigger world than this school."

… Harry was suddenly lost.

"Your fame spreads wider than Hogwarts, but I wouldn't try too hard to meet everyone's expectations. You can't always live up to legends."

Harry paused his work, _what? _"Er… right."

"Fame is a fickle friend, Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that."

_Come to me…_

"What?"

"Sorry? Was I not being clear?"

"That voice…"

"Voice?"

"Didn't you hear it?"

"What are you talking about, Harry? I think you're getting a bit, uh, drowsy. And _great Scott_, no wonder, look at the time, we've been here nearly four hours. Spooky how the time flies when one's having fun. Heh."

"Spooky…"

* * *

A/N: Well, it's short, but... it's something.


	16. Peppermint

Disclaimer: I do not own HP, YYH, or Naruto

_Blood… I smell blood… Let me rip you, let me kill you. Kill. Kill. KILL!_

"Harry!" Hermione said.

"Didn't you hear it?" Harry asked.

Hermione looked around, as if trying to spot this mysterious sound, "Hear what?"

"That voice."

"Voice? What voice?" Hermione was becoming concerned.

"I heard it first in Lockhart's office, and then again just-"

_It's time… _

Harry twitched, then started walking quickly, "It's moving. I think it's going to kill." He had to find it, he couldn't let it…

"Kill? Harry, wait!" Hermione called as Harry ran down the hall.

* * *

Ron cursed as he half-ran through empty corridors. He'd been practicing walking on walls again, and completely lost track of time. If he didn't hurry, he might miss dinner!

"What do we have here?" A familiar, annoying nasal voice said. Ron didn't slow down.

"Going somewhere, Weasely?" Malfoy continued.

There were several sets of footsteps, Ron guessed three. He was still much too far from the dining hall for escape to be a viable option, and so, bracing himself, he turned to face Malfoy and his cronies.

Including Pansy Parkinson. That was a little out of the ordinary.

_Why am I not cursed already?_

Malfoy sent off a half-hearted attack that Ron easily side-stepped. He was getting a sinking feeling; Malfoy wanted him to fight back.

Fine.

Ron brought his wand up slowly, dramatically. He made a show of focusing on Malfoy.

Malfoy was ready.

"Petrificus totalus!"

"Expelliarmus!"

Ron's petrify soared a mile wide of Malfoy, instead hitting the completely off-guard Pansy. Malfoy's disarm hit the wall behind where Ron had been standing a moment ago.

Enraged, Crabbe and Goyle lumbered into the fray, each firing something. Ron didn't know what, he just dodged. The spells dissipated harmlessly against the wall.

More attacks started flying from the air. Some were nowhere near their mark, but Ron narrowly missed getting hit by most. Some were counters he was pretty much randomly throwing off.

If only his eyes would stop _itching_…

Malfoy had gotten in closer, about to fire something point-blank.

Crabbe was behind him, apparently trying to do the same thing. Ron shoved Malfoy away and spun, knocking Crabbe's wand out of his hand mid-rotation.

And then he was facing Malfoy again, who was now very clearly irate. He'd only come to show off, and now he was getting shown up, along with his whole posse. By Ron Weasely. Alone.

If Ron could get out alive, he would have _so_ much to brag about.

Crabbe was fumbling for his wand. Ron fired a stun at him, hopping back to put more distance between himself and Malfoy, who, along with Goyle, were staring at him, speechless. Ron couldn't help but let a grin form on his face. Was he really as awesome as he currently thought he was? He hoped so.

But he wasn't about to let this window pass. Before the remaining two Slytherins regained their senses, Ron let off a third stun, incapacitating Goyle. An instant later he regretted it, as Malfoy took aim, and Ron could barely defend in time.

* * *

There was some kind of heat building in his eyes. When he realized this, Draco was almost paralyzed by the shock. _I am _not_ going to _cry_–_

But then the heat vanished, and everything looked so _clear_, which was weird, because Weasely was very obviously blurred. At least, logically, Draco would call that a blur, later when he had time to think about it.

Draco ducked, not actually knowing w–

A spell sizzled the air barely above him.

Okay. Nice.

Weasely seemed so pleased with himself and this insane stroke of luck. It made Draco sick. Every spell he sent, Weasely dodged and then sent one of his own. It wasn't too difficult to counter them, but Draco was troubled by the sudden realization that the odds were not in his favor.

Well, at least they weren't in Weasely's, either.

Assuming that the turned tables were indeed an insane stroke of luck.

Draco shut that thought up with a vengeance.

"_Expelliarmus!_"

Draco's wand flew from his grasp, and suddenly he was no longer facing only Weasely, but Potter and Granger as well. The full Griffindor trifecta of Moron, High and Mighty, and Teacher's Pet.

… And then someone else appeared around the corner behind the Golden Trio.

* * *

The voice had gone quiet, though probably not for long. Harry forced himself to put that thought away until Malfoy was dealt with. He probably already would be, were it not for his suddenly red eyes that Harry couldn't stop wondering about. He'd seen Sasuke's eyes get kind of like that, except with more black dots. What _was _that?

Anyway, it was clear Malfoy knew he was out-gunned. But the unconscious bodies of Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy told Harry that he hadn't been when he'd first run into Ron.

So… "What happened here?" Harry asked.

Ron turned. He said something to the effect of "I dunno," but Harry was hardly even listening. Ron had milky white eyes. _What–_

"Petrificus totalus!" Hermione suddenly yelled. A bolt of light shot toward Malfoy, who'd dived toward his wand. The spell flew just slightly above his head without making contact.

Malfoy rolled the instant he had his wand, and aimed, "Incendio!"

Harry reacted on instinct, firing a defense against the bolt of fire, "Aquamenti!"

Had Malfoy's spell been anywhere near them, it would've disintegrated.

But it wasn't. It was aimed at… the ceiling?

* * *

A/N: My new co-writer says Malfoy's voice isn't really nasally. Please keep in mind that that was from Ron's perspective.


End file.
